Our Final Goodbye

Reed and Dorothy are standing in the background as their four boys, James, Vincent, Timothy and Scott, each release a dove.

Families gather for weddings and funerals. Ours has gathered now. My sister Maryanne and her husband Bob, came for several days this week. Having them here was a wonderful gift. They lifted our burdens with their help and encouragement. Our son Gerald and his family arrived on Wednesday and our daughter Jessica and her family came on Friday. There is such an embrace of comfort in family. I feel surrounded by their strength and love.

Thursday night was a community viewing for Carmen. We didn't go. Friday was our family day. We gathered in a room in the Higgins mortuary in Antioch for our final view of Carmen. The room where she lay was filled with the warmth of family. Chairs were arranged with a view of her and a short slide show of her life. Soft Primary songs played in the background. As family members arrived, there was a soft buzz of conversation and embraces. We were surprised and delighted when Layne's twin brother, Lynn, arrived with his wife Camille and daughter Kristin. Together we all visited and took in our last sight of our little Carmen. She looked almost as lovely as she did in life. Her thick eyelashes lay softly on her cheek. Her cheeks took on a soft blush and her lips were rosy, thanks to the work of the mortuary men and women. She lay in a soft pink coffin, in her lovely white dress, with her blanket and her pink rose. The mortuary men added a soft teddy bear. It had the effect of innocent loveliness, a nice expression of Carmen's nature.

The family's children soon tired of sitting and were released to the front of the mortuary, where they played in the grass for some time. I took comfort in watching them. Their activities renewed my focus on life. Our Camen has gone, but life goes on growing and becoming. It is good to see it, alive, before my eyes at this special time.

We joined the funeral procession to the local grave yard, where a place had been prepared for Carmen. We gathered for the dedication of the grave, offered by Layne. Linda and I offered the opening and closing prayers. Carmen's brothers each released a dove. They were accompanied by a collection of other doves. We watched them lift into heaven, of course offering us an illustration of our own dear girl, lifting up to the heavens. It was lovely symbolism. Carmen's body was lowered into the ground then. And it was done. All remnants of her person are now gone from this life. But her presence will be felt from time to time, I know. For she lives on.