Mother

Friday evening Maryanne called me with the shocking news that mom had a major stroke and was in the hospital in Delta! I was stunned as I never thought mom would ever be vulnerable to strokes. It took awhile for me to digest the thought that mama could be in such trouble. Layne cleaned the kitchen for me and made plane reservations for Saturday morning. I threw my things together and flew on on Southwest as United was booked. It was a great flight; I like the way Southwest does things. They are organized and friendly.

Bob and Mar picked me up and we were off for Cedaredge. We arrived in Delta late in the afternoon and headed for the hospital. Mama is in ICU. Her room was crowded with people who love her. Bryan was already there. Also Renee and Jim, Steve and Sharon, Elaine and Cliff. Mama lay comfortably in her bed, her eyes closed, her coloring good. She looked peaceful and lovely. I took her hand and spoke to her. She immediately knew me and I could see that she was fully alert and knew all that was going on around her. She seemed happy to have us there. She spoke to me and I could understand her although her speech was somewhat slurred.

She cannot move her right side; the right side of her face has the droop the stroke has left her with. I talked to the doctor on the phone. He states that the stroke was a major one and did lots of damage. If she survives, it will take months and months of rehabilitation. He was impressed that her speech had improved. But she has made no progress in moving anything on the right side. And she is retaining too much liquid. So it is hard to say how this will turn out. I am a bit pessimistic but time will tell.

I don't feel ready to let go of my mama. She is 90 but such a vibrant, active, caring person, and such fun to have around. She adds much to my quality of life. I am trying to prepare myself for whatever comes next. I will consider it a privilege and a blessing to care for her, if that is what comes our way. If not, I must prepare to let her go. Her part in my life is everything to me; she is intertwined in just about everything I do and think. It will be hard to have her gone from me. My darling mother deserves every good thing; my hope and my prayer is that this will be as easy for her as can be and that she will be filled with the sweet spirit of God as she takes on this trial that may lead her off to the next world, back in the presence of daddy and all who must be waiting eagerly to be with her again.

Several mornings ago we awoke to the smell of smoke. In this dry, grassy-covered place, that is not a good thing. As we looked outside, a haze could be seen from every direction. Wild fires. As it turned out, our area was pretty much surrounded by many wild fires, started mostly from electrical storms. The heat and wind fanned them until a smokey haze filled the horizon. We have seen no sign of actual fire, but the haze is here and has lasted for days now. How interesting that conditions would combine to create them and help them to grow. Happily, they seem to be under control now. But not before we have lost hundreds of acres and even some homes to them. It makes all the fire preparations Big Brother required of us seem a bit less irritating.

Allegra is 13 today. I took her and Audrey Birthday shopping yesterday. Allegra picked out some clothes. She looks so cute in them. She is a lovely girl. We had a very fun girl bond.

Birthdays

Yesterday, the longest day of the year, we celebrated all three local family birthdays. The kids chose pizza for dinner; what a surprise. Allegra will be 13 on the 25th; Scott will be 12 on the 28th and Audrey will be 41 on the 27th. Jacqueline will be 6 on the 28th as well. Speaking of June, Layne and I celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary on the 11th. I'm shocked to realize that we are within throwing distance of a golden wedding anniversary. Wow, we are pretty old!

June 22, 2008

It has been unseasonably hot in our little valley. Being outside after 10:00 or so in the morning makes me feel like a grease spot on the sizzling land. But Layne loves it and spends his days working and sweating in the outside oven. It is cooler today but we awoke early to the smell of smoke. Somewhere, to the south of us we think, there is a fire.

It is early, but outside the birds are doing their morning routine, chattering and flying between our various hills of yard enhancements. It is sunny, creating early morning shadows on the hillside. This is my favorite time of day. Morning has a freshness and holds before me so many possibilities. I love being outside now. I have chosen a meditation and prayer spot, where I spend a half hour or so most mornings, enjoying the views, thinking and praying.

Yesterday was a special day for our granddaughter Carmen. Their community held a blood drive for her. I sent the local paper pictures of her, as requested, so that they could write an article about her, encouraging members of the community to participate in the blood drive. I didn't go, as I can no longer donate blood. But Layne and Audrey went. They said there was a crowd there. How wonderful!