A week for Carmen

Reed, Dorothy and family a couple of years ago

This week promises to be a busy one as the family gathers to memorialize Carmen. Thursday will be a community viewing at Higgins Funeral Home in Antioch. Friday will be a day for family. Saturday will be a community memorial service at 6:30 at the stake center in Brentwood (2350 Jeffrey Way). On Sunday the family will gather at Ben's to celebrate family February birthdays and bless our new little Abigail, born to Ben and Jessica on January 19th.

Then life will gradually return to what could be approximated as normal. I can't help feeling that missing Carmen will hit most strongly after all of this is over. The outpouring of community caring has been the most amazing display of love and service that I have ever experienced. It seems to be carrying Reed and Dorothy on a cloud of benevolence. They have been so blessed with this communal embrace! Peace reigns in their household right now. Truly we have reason to rejoice as well as mourn. The wonders of brotherhood and sisterhood must be the great joy described by the Lord as the very purpose of life on this earth. It has certainly filled our family circle with great comfort and even joy.

Family Plans

Here is Carmen at Christmas in 2005. I think it symbolizes my thoughts of her now, reaching out to heaven, as our little angel.

We spent most of Thursday with Reed and Dorothy. Their home was full of family, mostly on the Homer (Dorothy's) side. Reed told me that Carmen passed away, after her final battle to stay, at 10:30 PM Wednesday night, in his arms. I believe her steel will kept her here for an additional week, at least. Just before she passed, she raised her left hand and waved goodbye...or possibly hello.

Reed and Dorothy are tender but appear to be doing fine. They, like I, spent most of last night awake. It is comforting to see that, in their sorrow, they have turned toward each other and have grown closer. The boys stayed home from school yesterday. They seemed to be doing fine. But boys are a more mysterious lot. I'm not sure what is going on inside each heart. Hopefully Reed and Dorothy can address their boys' needs and feelings by sharing with them their own.

Reed and Dorothy are planning a family memorial, viewing and burial a week from today (Friday, February 27th), in Brentwood. Saturday there will be a community memorial service. There is likely to be a large attendance on Saturday as so many in the community know about Carmen and have helped in her care in some way. The problems of a child seem to bring out the best in so many people!

And so we will spend this next week gathering together with family and preparing for our final farewell to our little girl. More details will follow.

She is Gone

August 10, 2000 - February 18, 2009

Carmen Marie Galbraith passed sweetly away this evening. She was 8 and one half years old. Carmen was a beautiful child, and very bright. Who could have imagined then that we would lose her.

Her battle began shortly after her 7th birthday. She became very ill. Once a brain tumor was discovered, she entered surgery, where it was successfully removed. It was diagnosed as a medulablastoma, a very aggressive form of brain cancer. From September 2007 until the summer of 2008 she underwent radiation and chemo treatments. How we rejoiced that summer when the treatments were over and the cancer was gone. Carmen rallied; the sparkle returned to her eye, she smiled and laughed. All seemed to be working out. She would survive. But soon another tumor was found. More treatments followed. We prayed for a miracle. God can grant healings and we felt hopeful that we could still keep our little girl. And then one tumor became many. Very soon she was overwhelmed with cancer. Nothing more could be done. We had to face the fact that she would not survive. The past few weeks have been a waiting game. We watched her lose her battle, little by little. Up to the end she fought leaving. But tonight she went peacefully away.

And so the battle is over. I am happy for her. How can leaving this troubled world be a bad thing? She will be happy and free now. But there is an ache in my heart to have her gone. I will so miss seeing her grow up. We will go and be with Reed and Dorothy tomorrow and help in any way we can.

The Thread of Life

I have not visited Carmen for two days now. I have a terrible cold--I always seem to catch the worse version of things! Dorothy says that Carmen is barely holding onto life now. But holding she is. She doesn't want to leave! Dorothy described her rambling conversation to unknowns with the following narrative: "No. Not today. Maybe tomorrow." And other words to that effect. Could she be putting off the call of heaven? It sounds like it to me. Reed and Dorothy have done their best to make her feel comfortable about leaving but she is firm in not wanting to. These days are full of anxious watching and waiting. Included here is a picture of Carmen as an angel at Christmas time. Here's hoping she can make her journey to heaven soon, with peace in her heart.

Brentwood Business

Last Thursday night I had a strong impression that we needed to visit Carmen on Saturday. We left Mom home and went. It turned out to be a very quiet day at the Reed Galbraith home. We were the only visitors except for the lovely women who were sitting with Carmen when we arrived. We all sat together in Carmen's room and visited. Carmen seemed thinner and less responsive but very much with us.

Reed and Dorothy both had a feeling that she would not last the day. But she did! Dorothy mentioned hearing Carmen say "no" several times in a loud and firm voice. Could she have been turning down an invitation to leave us? I wish I understood how it all works. We are left to watch and wonder.

Rayne came home from college this weekend to see Carmen. She spent several days with her and returns to school tonight (Monday). You can see our lovely girl here, in purple (my least favorite color!).

Layne and I took Mom and went back to Brentwood today. The house was bustling with family. Dorothy's sister, two brothers, their kids, her father, our Ben and his family were all there! As before, we spent lots of time in Carmen's room. She looked much thinner to me today and had a very hard time responding to conversations offered to her. She seemed to be living in a world of unrelated thoughts. She spoke in response to some conversation she was having in her head. Once again, she repeated, "no", and had other comments that, to us, made no sense. Is she delirious? I cannot say. But she is in a different way than she was when we saw her last.

Mom really wanted to see her so Layne and Ben helped her climb the stairs. In their arms, she made it up and back down again. She spoke to Carmen in her soft voice. I don't think Carmen heard her, but, hopefully she felt the love that Mom was trying to give her. This little home is often full of people, and it is always filled with love.

Joys and Sorrows

There was a full moon this week. It bathed our place in moonlight. There is something magical about a full moon. You can see it's glowing effect in this photo, taken early in the morning, outside our bedroom window. Note the frost on the hills that confirms the early morning chill. In spite of that, Layne and I have been walking most mornings. I love it.

We spent yesterday at Reed and Dorothy's. Carmen now spends almost all of her time in bed. She has eaten little or nothing all week. I visited with her, in her room. She sleeps most of the time, but she was awake when I was there with her. She was too weak to look at me so this snapshot is of her profile. She is having trouble hearing, so I spoke loudly to her and tried to express the words of comfort that were in my heart to tell her. I wanted her to know that she was not ever going to be alone. Indeed, her room seemed to be filled with a warm presence. I believe that she is being looked out for by heavenly beings as well as earthly ones. I told Carmen that she would soon feel better and be able to run and sing again. It is true, once she is able to pass to the next world. It was pleasant to sit with her. She lay surrounded by stickers and her sticker book. There are a few minutes in the day when she adds some of the many stickers people have given to her to her little book. It seems to me that she will soon leave us. Dorothy sits with her most of the time. That is made possible by the many people who stop by and help in whatever way they can. Family has been gathering to see her and let her know she is loved by them. Dorothy's aunts came from the east earlier this week. Rayne is flying home today to spend a couple of days with her. Jessica and children came last week especially to spend time with her. We hope to send her off surrounded by love.

Family Business

Family needs have filled our time these past weeks. Mom is making progress but it is slowing a bit. Carmen is failing as you can perhaps see in this photo of her. She spends her days on the couch in the family room. She is very into stickers now and fills books with them at a steady pace. We are visiting her at least once a week now. Her parents, Reed and Dorothy, seem to be doing very well managing their family and caring for Carmen. They have a knack for caring, as their many friends attest to with their concern and service. There are so many good people in the world!

Once a month we have an extended Family Home Evening with our local families. Here you can see our gang at Reed and Dorothy's. Now that Ben and his family are here, there are lots of us! I love having much of our family close by.

Our daughter Jessica and her three babes visited us this past week. You can see them above. Jessica spent most of her time at Reed and Dorothy's. This time of family struggle is intensive, but has its blessings. There is a united caring for Carmen, and for my Mom. Both are precious souls, struggling now. I feel blessed to have such personalities in my own family circle. I can see that the people in my life bring much more joy than sorrow.