Putting Mom to Rest

Mother is gone. My feelings are suspended for now. There has been so much to do this past week. I seem to automatically tune out my emotions when the demand is high. It sometimes serves me and sometimes doesn't. I find it hard to call them up at will. they bubble up uninvited instead.

Maryanne and I planned to dress Mom's body last Monday. Even though I dressed the body of my granddaughter, I still was filled with stress over it. But sweet friends accompanied us, making the load much lighter. Mom's Relief Society President, Debbie Boyce, her Visiting Teacher, Zella Willoughby and good friend Sharon Palmer helped us through it. Seeing Mom's empty body confirmed to me that she was indeed gone. It is interesting to me how very useless and vacant the body is when the spirit of life is gone. She is gone. Dressing her was easily managed with the help of our friends. Her body looked lovely in her temple clothes.

The folks at Taylor Mortuary were helpful and supportive. I felt embraced by their caring. They managed so many of the details needed to finalize Mom's mortal life. it was a sweet comfort.

Tuesday Layne, Maryanne and I went to dinner at our friends the Palmers. On the way I fell into a pondering. I was thinking of Mom and wondering how she was and how she felt. Gently I felt her whisper into my mind. She said simply, "I'm fine." It was her usual answer in life to inquiries during her post-stroke condition. It came to me so naturally. I felt a tingle of reassurance that her message was real. I know now that all is well with her.

Our week was taken up with preparations for her burial and memorial. Our children were due to scatter their arrivals as the weekend approached. We planned food and activities. We did our best to sort as much of Mom's household goods as we could cram into our few days. We filled the garage with her things, hoping that our children and grandchildren would find some treasures there to take home. Mom has so many things! It will take us months to sort through it all.

Stuff, stuff, stuff. Mom's home is filled with all sorts of it. If she had a fault, this is it. She could not let anything go. Years of accumulation from her life, Daddy's, our Kiser grandparents, and other relatives full her house and garage and barn and...well, you get the idea. Here is a lesson in stuff. It is best to have as little of it as possible.

Most of our children were here for the weekend's events. It was wonderful to be surrounded by family. Our sons carried Mom's casket to her place next to Daddy on Saturday. It was a lovely, sunny day. We gathered to hear a greeting by Mom's new Bishop, Bishop Tulley. Maryanne's husband, Bob, gave the dedicatory prayer and then it was done. It takes just minutes to marry and bury. Isn't it interesting that the most important events in our lives seem to take so little time.

One of those in attendance was my father's half sister, Geraldine. she came with her husband, daughter Donna and grandson. I was looking forward to visiting with them at the meal that followed the burial, prepared by our local Church ladies. But they didn't come. I later discovered that they have an aversion to the Church and felt the could not enter our building. It was the grandson who told me. As it turns out, he is a convert to the Church! I find it fascinating how the gospel has seeped into our family. Little by little it comes, with its subtle influence for good. I wish there had been an opportunity to spend more time with Geraldine; to warm her somehow.

It was the memorial for Mom that I worried most about. Maryanne and I were the speakers and the music was provided mostly by family. Would it go well? It was on our shoulders. I worked on my talk all week, finally pulling it together early Thursday morning. I prayed that the Spirit would make something of it. As with all anticipated events, the memorial came and went rather quickly. I believe the spirit was with us as our program progressed. Many sweet exchanges followed the service, assuring me that we had accomplished our purpose. Mother was remembered with honor.

The family gathered for the last time Sunday night. We ate and visited. I felt such a contentment sitting on Mom's deck, with Layne, and surrounded by children and grandchildren. The late afternoon air embraced us with sweet warmth as I looked up through the trees into the clear blue sky. Some of the grandchildren laughed in the background as they built a mud bridge over Mom's creek. She would have a fit at that. But for me, it was heaven.

As the family left, we did some more sorting. It was work from morning until night. Today, Wednesday, we have started our drive home, loaded with "treasures". I'm looking forward to the rest and to redefining my life without Mom. That part will be hard.

Pictures: I can no longer manipulate the photos or see them in the draft mode; there is some problem with the blogger program. So, they are out of order. Top is the luncheon that followed Mom's burial. You can see some of our family there, notably my daughters Jessica and Audrey (I can't see the photo to add others to that identification). Next is a scene from Mom's burial just after the dedication by my brother-in-law, Bob Berrett. Bottom picture is Mom's garage, filled with some of her many collections. We organized it to provide a bit of family "shopping" while so many of our children were gathered.