Not long after our visit with the Kisers, my sister Maryanne called to say that she was coming for a visit. I think she was anxious to see Mom and take in her present condition. Maryanne stayed with us for 4 days. We had fun and she got in some good bonding with Mom. She feels strongly that we need to tell Mom that she can go; that we will be all right. She did that while she was here. She also helped me with a couple of home projects. That really perked me up. She left on Saturday.
That night I noted that Mom's
voice was deep, like she was catching something. She was unusually licid and had difficulty falling aslee
p. Sunday morning she awoke with a rattle in her throat. Our foster daughter, Michelle, stayed with her while we went to Church. When I returned home, early, she was completel
y changed. She lay in her chair in a deep sleep. I had trouble rousing her. She could only mumble. It scared me. I called the nurse who
said she wasn't sure what was happening but told me how to care for her. We moved her to her bed where she fidgeted for awhile, talking to herself, us or no one at all. She wanted us there so Audrey and I sat in her room with her and watched her go from talking to us, to talking in a completely different direction, shutting usout. Then she quieted do
wn and went to slee
p. We felt sure she was dying. That strengthened when we found we could not rouse her. She became totally unresponsive.Thinking she would not live through the night, I called the kids. Everyone came! Maryanne's son Bryan and his wife even came. Our Sunday evening was spent in Mom's room, with everyone taking a turn telling her good-bye and that we loved her. Even the long distance kids called and talked to her. We visited until midnight, when everyone left. I kissed Mom goodnight and we went to bed.
I approached Mom's room on Monday morning with fear in my heart. I opened her door and looked in. She looked right at me and said "Hi." I was stunned! "Mom," I said, "I thought you'd be dead this morning. Everyone was here last night to tell you good-bye." "Sorry a
bout that," she said. I got her up, she ate breakfast and slept most of the day. Wow. What would y
ou do with such a mother? Is she leaving or not? First she is up, then down, then up...
..Our hospice nurse says her pneumonia has returned and that there isn't much we can do about it. So Mom's days are shortened but it is unknown by how much. There are extra things that must be done now to help her breathe easier. So her routine becomes a bit more complicated. She takes it all in stride, trusting me to do right by her. I find that caring for her has many joyful moments. I don't mind care giving too much; especially caring for Mom. Our nurse, Jenny, told me that I have a gift for it. That comment made me feel wonderful. I worry that I'm not doing all I can, so her praise was so encouraging.
Now nothing is normal. Sometimes she can't sleep and chatters constantly. Sometimes her speech is clear and sometimes muddled. Sometimes she wants to eat and sometimes n
ot. Sometimes all she can do is sleep. We are on a roller-coaster ride with her. We decided we'd better get her home to Colorado as fast as we could. We feel strongly that she needs to be in her home to pass away. We hastily packed and left on Thursday morning. We drove all day Thursday. I worried that Mom wouldn't do well, or worse, die on the way. But she did fine. We arrived at 2:30 AM Colorado time and took her inside her own little home. She perked up! She wanted to go through her usual night time routine. I was amazed. We got her into bed by 3:00 AM or so and we fell into bed shortly after. She has been fine since then. We are here with her until she is finished with this life. How long it will take only the good Lord knows.
Pictures: My sister, Maryanne, and me; me on the chair that Maryanne helped me recover; some of our family gang gathered in Mom's room to tell her goodbye; Maryanne's youngest son Bryan with his wife Jessica and new daughter, Maggie. Mom saw Maggie for the first time when they visited us.
No comments:
Post a Comment