My divided life has brought me to Colorado once again, as I take my turn caring for mom. She is making regular improvements, but is greatly reduced in function. As she herself has mentioned, she feels overwhelmed at all that must be worked on and overcome to approach a normal life. I find working with her very satisfying. I can't say exactly why; perhaps it is her strong, benevolent personality; perhaps it is my happy chance to return to her all the good she has given me over a lifetime. Perhaps it is something else all together, or a combination of things. But is is joyful to be here. It is a kind of retreat. The world goes away and time seems to stand still. I forget the date and the day. This Colorado country is a haven. It seems to somehow embrace me and bring me closer to God.
I keep wondering what purpose there is in the reduced condition of mother. She has been such a force for good in this place. Now she must concentrate her attention and will to making her body respond and awaken. It is not something she wants to do. It is a surprise to us all that she is now required to do so. I'm sad to see her have to fight this battle. Yet, in spite of her present condition, she still functions as a kind of lighting rod for our family. She somehow binds us to one another. She has the power to bring out the tenderness in us. She has a mighty will and a deep reservoir of love that pulls us all in. My girls, Audrey and Jessica, have been here with me since last Thursday. I believe they too feel the power of mother. She looks upon us with tenderness and gratitude. Perhaps it is her spirit after all that makes our service to her a joyful one.
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