Four Fifths for Bruce

"Huh," Mom said a couple of mornings ago when I greeted her. I talked further and she continued not to hear me. So I had to admit to myself that I waited just a tad too long to have her ears cleaned out. So we went to fix the problem with the ear doctor she loves. He grew up in Cedaredge. Imagine the magic of meeting someone from Cedaredge right here in Pleasanton. I'll bet he is the only one in the whole city who even knows there is such a place. And he happens to be Mom's doctor.

Last week son Gerald (from Taiwan) called to say that he and the family were coming for a visit. I love having time with Gerald. He and I are kindred spirits. We have similar interests and seem to be able to share ideas and thoughts with clear understanding. But there isn't much opportunity to spend time at this. So I felt very excited to have them come. They arrived as planned Wednesday of last week. They pretty much slept for two days. Well, Ger and Fran did. The kids ran around and played right from the start.

Having Gerald and Frances here necessitated some local family get-togethers so we enjoyed the whole gang for several days. It was a wild, but fun ride. I'm happy that everyone enjoys spending time together. I talked Ger and Fran into staying through the weekend because, as luck would have it, it was the very Sunday that Reed and Dorothy had chosen to bless their new little son, Bruce. Ben and some of his kids spent Saturday night with us, so Sunday morning we all headed for Brentwood and the local chapel there. It was magical to see all three of my sons and my son-in-law bless little Bruce. Four-fifths of my boys for Bruce! Grandson Scott was the organist and grandsons James and Isaiah helped pass the sacrament. Everywhere I looked there was a Galbraith doing something! What sweet pleasure. Our whole clan was there except Chris and Jes. I long for the time when all of us are united, in space and faith. I really miss my Gendreau kids.

There is a very sweet Arabic woman of my acquaintance who spends her days writing books. She has used me, and especially Audrey to help her edit them. We have both decided not to do it anymore as she has a way of very sweetly leading us into spending days and days at the job with no end in sight and no offer of compensation. She takes a seductive approach by asking for far less than she really wants. Her requests began with me but are aimed at Audrey now. Shortly before Ger and Fran's visit she began calling me. After 20 or so repeated calls I reluctantly called her back. "How are you, dear," she said in a friendly voice. "I would love to come and show you my latest book." Hum. What could I say? We set a date. She came. I looked at her books, including the new one in draft form. "Is Audrey around? I want her to see the book too," she said gently. I called Audrey, who reluctantly came up. Lovely. Sweet conversation. Then it began. "Audrey, can you take a minute and look at my chapter introductions?" she sweetly said. "I have 20 minutes. I'll do all I can in that time," Audrey responded. And she did. "Can I make a date with you to look at just a little more?" she asked Audrey. Trapped, Audrey agreed to a time that turned out to be in the middle of Ger and Fran's visit. Our lady came again and they worked on our dining room table for several hours. I felt so guilty for getting Audrey into that trap once again. So, finally, I confronted our lady. "You have seduced Audrey into far more than you initially asked for," I told her. "That is not fair." She flushed and apologized. I talked with her further about the unfairness of her expectations. I guess I'm including this here because I hate confrontations and usually evade them at all costs. So this was a biggie for me. Audrey was warmed and our lady was cooled by my efforts. But I felt it had to be done. We'll see what the long-range effect will be.

Ger and Fran left for Salt Lake on Monday morning. They will be there for a couple of weeks, then return for a few days more with us, then head home. It is always a comfort to me to see them in the flesh. When they are in Taiwan I hear so little from them. I sometimes worry about Frances, as she is so devoted to her work. But she is as sweet as ever. The kids spend just about all of their waking hours on school work when they are home. But when they are here they can play. Well, they can play once they spend a few hours on homework each day. So, of course, they love coming to the U.S. According to Ger, there is little time for family life in Taiwan. Most people spend their time working or being in school. So there is little bonding time. Most don't spend much time talking to one another and there is a sense that, once married, no more effort needs to be made at a married relationship. Ger and Fran are working at changing that tradition in their marriage. I think Gerald is doing the bulk of the work at that, at present. Frances is a very good-hearted person and seems to be responding to Gerald's efforts. I like her very much.

Is there ever an end to worry about our kids? It seems that each of my families offers me a potential concern. But, since there is little I can personally do about any of it, I work to cast it out of my mind. I am trying to simply love and support them the best I can.

Pictures: Top two are of Gerald playing with Ben and Jessica's children, Abigail and William. Gerald is a kid magnet. Next are granddaughters Angelica (Ger and Fran) and Allegra (Audrey and Cliff). Bottom shows Ben and Jessica's son Zachary (at bottom) with Ger and Fran's Angelica and Seth (who hates to have his picture taken).

It's Wet

Mom often hooks upon a thought and loses herself to the outside world. Recently we had a Relief Society less at Church on charity. At the end a sister stood and began to offer the closing prayer from her seat, in soft tones. "You sisters are very good at charity," Mom spoke out, not noticing the prayer at all. everyone smiled and the prayer continued. "You've all made me feel so welcome," Mom spoke out again. Smiles again and the prayer began softly again. "I'm so grateful for all of you" Mom interrupted once again. This time the praying girl walked to the front of the group, spoke louder and managed a complete benediction. It all ended fondly as the sisters love Mom. She has bonded with them as the weekly greeter, so they look tenderly upon her. Mom has a magical effect upon people; way more people greet her at Church than me. And, technically, she is just a visitor!

Rain was in the forecast this past week. I determined to beat it as I hurried to the front yard and the weeding that was beckoning to me. Poppies and weeds had enveloped the plants we hoped would thrive and provide a lovely presence in the front of the house. Even poppies, which I planted with abandon last year, can be weeds if they grow in the wrong place. So I put on my boots, knee pads and gloves and headed outside. It wasn't long before our little kitty, Cherry, joined me. She presented herself right in the middle of my work, begging for pets and attention. Then she sat nearby, simply looking on. Layne calls her a ca-dog because she loves people. We (the cat and I) worked together until the rain started. I lingered until it really picked up. I lingered some more until I was thoroughly soaked. There is something strangely magical about being out in the rain. Especially when I don't have to worry about my hair.

My grandson, Isaiah, was hoping to set up a pellet gun battle with his deacon's quorum in our back yard. But it didn't stop raining. To my surprise, it didn't stop the boys either. They covered up with black garbage bags and, with guns in hand, played in the mud, shooting each other, ALL DAY. Their shoes filled with muddy clay and their cloths were soon soaked in spite of the garbage bags but they played on and on and on. Only pizza pulled them inside, briefly.

The picture above was taken during a brief, sunny pause between rain storms. We have a family of nine deer that love to meet in the mornings near the compost pile, where the grass is tall and green.

Rain and rain and rain has filled our days, and more is predicted. I love the rain. Even better than rain however is the anticipated visit by our Taiwanese family. Son Gerald and his family are scheduled to arrive this coming Wednesday. I'm so excited to see them! Speaking of family, our Brentwood boys have a break from school for several weeks. The youngest two school-goers wanted to spend some time with us, so they spent the night with us this past Monday. I'd like to think that they really do enjoy our company. Perhaps they do, but the real draw is the chance to play their "Gameboys" without restriction. Vincent also wanted help with his Pinewood Derby car. Whatever their motivations might be, we take them any chance we get. You can see Vincent and Timmy here, on a popcorn break in our kitchen.

There are just some days when I really don't think much of the world and the people in it, in general. Saturday was one of those days. Layne always tries to console me by saying I need more sleep. Hum. He may be right. But in the meantime, I was cranky all day. "A donkey on the edge", son-in-law Cliff would say. Saturday happened to be the day we were assigned to clean the Church building. It appeared that Layne and I would be the only ones willing to do the job. That rather sent me over the edge just a tiny bit. But as it turned out another family joined up and we got the job done pretty efficiently. By the end of the day, things turned out OK and I felt ashamed of myself for being such a crab. But I still had to sleep it off.

Shades of Gray

Grandson Scott sent me a text early this past week, reminding me to come to his high school musical on Friday, where he played in the orchestra. With that prompting, there was no way we would not attend their production of "Pipin". Knowing nothing about the play, I was looking forward to the show. We arrived in Brentwood early, to visit with the kids and enjoy dinner with Reed and Dorothy and kiddos. Mom came along too. We entered the gym moments before the play was scheduled to begin. The only handicapped seating was in the very back and there was no room for regular folk. So we seated Mom in the back and went to our assigned seats. The orchestra, including Scott, entered and the show began. As the show progressed, the actors and singers did a fine job. The orchestra was good too.

It seems to me that participating in that kind of show takes over your life for a time as each actor absorbs the story, with all its lines and music and invests in endless rehearsals. So it seems to me also that the story should be especially chosen where youth are involved to provide an uplifting message. How naive of me. As the story of Pipin unfolded a steady diet of fornication was woven into it. I was disappointed to see the primary characters refer to it over and over again. The ending was a bit more positive. The kids were great. But it was shadowed, for me, by the message. What could have been a strong message of positive purpose was grayed down by too many references to sex. I worry that our already sex-laden society is shooting its dark arrows with greatest energy at our youth. Many of our teachers seem to have no clue that this may not be best for kids. I don't believe that Scott noticed any of this; he simply enjoyed participating. Perhaps that is the advantage of youth after all.

I worked in the garden one day this past week. I'm always surprised by the seductive power of the yard. I had a simple goal of cleaning out one section of the front yard. That finished, other parts called to me. "I'll just spend a couple of minutes there," I thought. But that turned into yet another hour, and on it went, until it was time to fix dinner. I simply have no self-discipline where the yard is concerned.

This past Sunday was our extended Family Home Evening. Ben decided it would be fun to bring 4 of the kids over on Saturday and spend the night. It was a lovely time as we had some unusual alone time with Ben. It was fun to bond with the little kids too. Little Abigail is beginning to be interested in grandparents. It is such a lovely sound to hear her say, "grandma!" Sunday afternoon the rest of the gang arrived and we had a very fun time celebrating Ben's and James' birthdays and having a lesson on honesty by Jessica. Games followed, led by Reed. These times together are a growing treasure to me. There is not a person in my family that I don't love and enjoy. No bad apples mar our pleasure in each others' company.

This week I'm a people-lover, more than usual, as I have been reminded all week long of the value other people play in my life.

Pictures: Top is Ben and James, the birthday boys. Ben recently shaved his head as a cure for increasing hair loss. It's a whole new look but we are getting used to it and beginning to like it. Next is Abigail, all ready for Church. Note the binky, a constant companion. Bottom is our Extended FHE game time, led by Reed and Dorothy. Fun for all.

Service With a Smile

"That's cold," Mom commented as I sprayed the back of her hair with water in an effort to redirect her curls. It was Sunday and I was attempting to provide a lovely hair style for her. "It's the price you pay for beauty," I told her. "What if I pay the price but don't get the beauty," she quickly responded. Sometimes, in her now quiet manner, she surprises me with her insight and wit. She charmed our visiting temple friends, the Larsons, today with her warmth and friendliness. She is a lovely lady.

This past week has been full of people. We spent Monday with son Ben and family. Tuesday I went to Brentwood to help daughter-in-law Dorothy. You can see the latest version of new grandson Bruce in this snapshot. Wednesday was Temple service. Thursday I visited some of my Church ladies and Friday we spent most of the day celebrating our neighbor Beverly's birthday. Saturday we watched grandson Vincent perform and today has been full of fun with friends Nikki and Brooks Larson. Wow, what a week. I've hardly had time to do anything at home. I can claim to have gotten the wash done. That's all! But I'm not stressing. Nope, not a bit.

It's been cold and wet here. I like it. I love the soggy sights outside our windows and the view of snow covering our hills. Perhaps you can spot the snow in the picture out our front window. The few flowers that we have are starting to bloom. The five cats are getting along. What's not to love.

Another Anniversary

As before mentioned, I've been working on a drapery project. The good news is, I'm finished. The bad news is, I don't like it! It is always disappointing when what I see in my mind doesn't match the actual product. That often happens to me, perhaps because I am an optimist at heart. My mind's view of things is almost always better than the actual things themselves. At any rate, the inferior draperies are hanging up still until I can figure out a way to improve them.

On the upside, our Valentine's Day was very nice. I fixed leftovers, but served them by candlelight and with a lacy kind of tablecloth. Mom, Layne and I exchanged valentines and sweet conversation. Layne even danced with me. That is always a stretch for him so it was a lovely gesture. After we put Mom to bed, I talked him into watching one of my favorite movies of all time, Enchanted April. I've pressed him to watch it before but he has resisted. But he hung in this time, it being Val Day and all. He didn't like the first part but by the end he was converted. Ah, what pleasure to see such a conversion after all my previous efforts! The movie left a sweet feeling that lingered all through the night.

The photo above was taken this past week. We've had tons of rain and this rainbow filled the sky one lovely morning.

I may have mentioned that Layne gave me an iphone for my birthday. It finally arrived and I must say I've hardly done anything else since then, except play with this phone! I am so amazed at all the great things it does and am determined that I will explore all its possibilities. I have to admit that, while I love techy things, I usually figure out the basics and never move beyond that. But this time I'm going to make a real effort to take full advantage of all the functions this phone has to offer. Well, most of the functions anyhow. Well, at least the functions that will be most useful.

February 18th marked the second anniversary of granddaughter Carmen's death. I drove to Brentwood to meet the kids and go to the cemetery. We gathered there in the late afternoon light on a cold and rainy Friday. Dorothy brought balloons. We spoke of our memories of Carmen and released the balloons, which soon disappeared in the wind, clouds and disappearing light. I still feel such sadness at the loss of our girl. As time passes, I worry that her memory will fade, especially for the little kids. I feel that we mustn't let that happen.

Reed treated us all to dinner at a lovely restaurant; the kind that cooks your dinner right in front of you. It was such a treat as we gathered around the large grill and watched the chef do his fancy chopping and frying. I'm trying to give more of myself to family. I think I've been too structured in the past, letting things get ahead of people. I hope to change that.

The Blessings of Leisure

It is interesting to me that I have been able to find open time so easily these past few weeks. I've been trying to take time to do nothing; pretty hard for a girl who seems to need to be busy. I've been fairly successful at doing very little lately. And I kinda like it. I am beginning to notice, however, that I've been overlooking things. But, hey, there's a price to pay for idleness too.

Part of the reason I am seeking leisure is a reaction to what may be a health problem for me. I am pretty invested in seeing myself as a healthy, strong person. So when my doctor friend offered me a free stress test I figured that it would confirm my excellent health. But she surprised me by saying that my heart is "abnormal". It seems that I have an irregular heart beat (not a problem) and also a partially clogged heart artery (a potential problem). Hum. That seems like a pretty compromised situation to me. So I'm working on confirming that diagnosis and then coming up with a plan to address it. So I suppose I must face this compromised health situation as I coast into "old". Hey, but maybe its all a mis-read. I'll soon find out.

Layne has a pretty long "honey-do" list these days. So I've tried not to bug him about things I want him to do. One of those things is to hang some frames for drapes in the living room. I've had a vision of how I want it to be done. But over the months that Layne hasn't done the job, I've come up with a simpler plan. He announced this past week that he was ready to take it on. So my days of leisure have ended, for now. My simple plan took him two days to accomplish, but the frames are ready for my drapery project. And I must get to it as the frames are most unattractive without the fabric to cover them. So I'm on the job.

As we worked on the framing job Friday, a beautiful sunset greeted us. It was sight not to be missed. So mom joined us in taking in that beautiful view. You can see it here. We awaken lately in the clouds. You can see that here as well. You can't beat nature for beauty and inspiration. Although this photo of mom with grandson Bruce is heart-warming. Work and leisure fills my days but the beauty in the world I see fills my soul.

Friends and Family

The same weekend our grandson Bruce was born, friends of Mom's from Colorado came visiting. We asked them what they would most like to do and they came up with something that surprised me. They wanted to visit Alcatraz. It is an interesting thing that we don't visit local sights unless visitors lead us to do so. I've never been interested in visiting Alcatraz; I've always thought it would be a depressing experience. But we dutifully made arrangements to take our friends, Cliff and Elaine Conlon, on this particular adventure.

So on Monday, January 17th (MLK Day), we headed out early for San Francisco. We took BART, then a bus to Pier 33, where a ferry took us to Alcatraz Island. Just getting there was a fun adventure. The day was foggy at first, but opened up into a beautiful sunny day. Upon landing at Alcatraz I was surprised by the beauty of the sights that greeted us. The Island is a rocky hill but has pockets of grasses and flowers that make a lovely setting for what is now the skeletal remains of a maximum security prison, closed since the 1960s. The tour took us through the prison, located at the top of the island. It was fascinating. My conclusion is that it was a perfect place for a prison. The tides made a swim to the mainland nearly impossible. Yet the city is placed close enough to the prison to make the sight of it a daily reminder of freedoms missed. When the wind blew just right, even the sounds of the city greeted the prisoners as a regular prompting of what could have been, if their choices had been different. The thought of what could have been strikes me as a major source of sorrow. What a perfect set-up for a prison to my way of thinking. It is too bad that it is now closed and only offers a crumbling reminder of its former use. It was closed because it was too expensive to maintain, supposedly. But it seems to me it was really closed for political reasons. A shame.

In the photo on top you can see the Conlons with Layne standing in front of one of the deteriorated buildings below the prison.

We had fun with our Conlons. After they left for home I spent the remainder of that week and this past week with my daughter-in-law Dorothy, helping her with little Bruce. I lost myself in that happy mission. You can see how Bruce has changed since the picture in my last entry.

I am working on not requiring myself to be endlessly productive, but instead, giving myself permission to pace myself and be open to more spontaneous opportunities. I need relaxing, thinking and open time. It's there, I've decided. So I'm going to teach myself to grab it. Here's to spontaneity!