Sunday, April 29, 2012

Mental Meanderings

There are times when activities and demands take up all of my mental space.  I've become used to stuffing brief moments with as much creative thinking as I can muster.  This past week, however, has offered more open time than usual.  So I've been thinking more than usual.  With that comes a reminding that conversation often opens up more thoughts and feelings than I realized I had.  There has been time for such things this week.

Early in the week I went to lunch with 5 ladies from my past.  They are all older than I am, which is unusual these days.  We spoke of many things and with each conversation, threads of thought emerged that I didn't fully realize were inside of me.  I wonder how much of us is deeply enough embedded within as to be hidden, even from ourselves.  There was time for deep conversation during my temple shift as well.  And later with a far-away friend, Nora Jacobson, and my own daughter, Audrey.  It felt good to have so many conversations this week.  There is a certain joy in getting things inside of me, out.  It clarifies and even excites.

Granddaughter Allegra walked with me along this trail
in Sunol Park, near our home.  Here's another place for
thinking and good conversation. 
I've tried having these kinds of deep conversations with Layne.  He is very sweet about listening to me carry on.  "Um-hum," he says repeatedly as I ramble.  But he has little to actually say in response.  I have a man who loves the doing but not necessarily the talking.  I love deep, exploring kinds of conversation.  For me, it is the women in my life that enables this kind of communication.  Layne prefers more private thought, or working in the yard. Or eating together.  Or watching TV together.  Or simply taking a nap.  I've no doubt that he has a very active mental life but I must ask the right questions to get it out.  I'm not very good at that.  For now, I need the girls in my life.

1 comment:

John Adams said...

My good wife hoped that I would change to be able to talk and that she would learn to engage me in conversation("like Layne and Anadeane"). Thanks to this post, she no longer hopes for that, and is ok with that.

Now my job is to find some girlfriends for my wife.