The Pleasures of Inaction

I like to attempt to live a life of action.  I have an endless list of "to-do's" placed in strategic places to remind me that there is always something productive to do.  I have difficulty with the advice to spend some time doing nothing but thinking.  I seem to be built for action.

And that is what we got, for four weeks.  We loved our time with summer guests and felt so happy being with family at the reunion with our children in Oregon.  Once we returned home and unpacked, I began to feel a little like a deflated balloon.  With no demands anticipated for a week or so, we lounged around doing the very thing I have an aversion to:  nothing.  It was a delicious week, filled with naps and a bit of reading.  Even now I look forward to sleeping.  So I guess I'm not done resting up.  Perhaps we just wore ourselves out.  Whatever the cause, we spent a week filled with relaxation.

This past week Layne's twin, Lynn, and his wife, Camille visited for several days.  In the middle of that visit my sister, Maryanne and hub Bob also spent a night with us.  It was a fun time, filled with chatter and pleasant company.  One of the blessings of living in Idaho is that we are closer to Utah, where our siblings live.  So, in theory, we can get together on a more regular basis.  I especially hope to spend more time with Lynn and Camille.  I say that because, over the years of our marriages, we have seen very little of each other.  Our children don't know each other.  "We are very close," Layne tells me of his relationship with his twin.  Hum.  Do they talk?  Maybe once a year.  Do they see each other?  Maybe every 5 years or so, until recently.  So, what exactly is "close" between these two brothers?  It is a mystery to me, so I press for my version of "close", which would be to actually talk and visit regularly.  I'd like to do that with the rest of his family as well.  I suggest it regularly but Layne simply smiles and sticks to his usual explanation that he loves his family and would be there for them if needed.  Sometimes men are hard to understand.

Lynn and Camille cuddling up with Ben Franklin in an interesting place here called Walter's Ferry.

Layne reading with Mark Twain.

Me and Abe.

Since our calling as addiction recovery missionaries, Layne and I have regular discussions on the nature of addiction.  He is very strong on the ability of anyone to do what he really wants.  Addiction or not, if someone really wants to change, he can.  It is part of the gift of agency given to us by God, he explains to me.  I believe him, but also feel the difficulties of overcoming addictive habits takes a mighty effort.  Sometimes it takes several tries.  Wanting to badly enough to make that effort is hard to come by for most.  Addiction involves surrendering some agency to the habit.  One has to figure out how to reclaim it and use it to readdress the behavior.  I can see how hard that must be.  On a smaller scale, I have difficulty changing some of my own behaviors.  So does Layne.  I guess we mostly disagree on the idea of agency:  I think addiction involves giving up some of our agency and surrendering to the addiction; Layne thinks agency is never removed and can be reclaimed at will.

This week we are headed for Sun Valley with our neighbors the Wintersteens.  They want to show us the area.  I'm excited.  Layne, my stay at home boy, not as much.  But once we are on the way I think he'll get into it.