Girl Bonding and Elder Chase

My friend Lyn has been cooking up a girl's get-away for weeks.  She organized me and friend and ex-roommate Joanne Gunson into a traveling three-some, to travel to Salt Lake to visit with yet another ex-roommate, Pat Hansen.  With Lyn driving, we met up early Monday morning and off we went.  Imagine three girls together in a car for 13 or so hours, gabbing all the way.  It was a bonding feast.  We women seem to be built for bonding.  Sometimes I forget what a sweet experience it can be to share feelings and ideas in detail.  Men are often not particularly good at it.  Since I spend most of my time with my special man, I have fallen into the habit of not talking all that much.  So it felt good to bring things out that have been sleeping inside of me for some time.  Loving girlfriends are definitely good for each other.

Here are the 4 college roommates:
Pat Hansen (the artist), me, Lyn Hooker and Joanne Gunson.
Behind us is one of Pat's watercolors.  Lovely, yes?

Pat's art studio.  I love all the light!  

We spent Tuesday with Pat, in her home in Sandy.  She is a successful watercolor artist.  Her home is a gallery for her art.  She decorated it with antiques and an artistic eye so that each space was a feast for the eyes.  It was great fun to spend time with her and hear all she had to say, mostly about her experiences with art.  It was quite inspiring.

After our day with Pat, we girls decided that we'd like to stay in Salt Lake another day so we headed for son Gerald's home in Draper.  You may remember that it was in this house that his neighbor hid out and died earlier this year.  Gerald and his wife Frances have decided not to return to the home; instead to rent it out for now and sell it later.  My sister Maryanne joined us there and together we spent a most pleasant Wednesday.  Except walking through Gerald and Fran's well stocked home made me a bit sad to think that they will not be returning.  Fran's Chinese tradition is to abandon a home where someone other than family has died.  How unfortunate that their friend chose their home to die in.

Maryanne, in front of new home construction that we explored, in Draper.

Thursday morning Maryanne returned home and we three girls began our drive back to California.  We talked all the way back home.  There seems to be no end to what friends can talk about.  It was a lovely bond, not soon to be forgotten.

When I returned home Thursday evening, the place was abuzz with the expected arrival of grandson Chase from his mission in Boston.  Two years.  That is how long he has been gone.  Friday morning we readied ourselves to meet him at the San Jose airport.

Chase at 21 years, 60 pounds lighter than when he left, and much more "buffed".
Perhaps you can see in his face the steady confidence that he radiates,
and the glowing testimony that he feels.

Elder Chase Adams-Hart arrived at the airport Friday noon, into the enthusiastic circle of our family group.  He met our eyes a much different looking young man than when he left us.  He was thin, and walked tall, with a confident grin on his face.  We all smothered him in hugs and balloons.  I can say, after a weekend of celebration, that his company is grand.  He comes to us full of testimony and strength, with plans to prepare himself for a prosperous future.  He is good, clean and faithful.  He's handsome too!  Who could hope for more in a grandson.

Palo Alto Grandkids

Our youngest son Ben and his wife Jessica have 6 very busy and energetic children.  You may imagine that there isn't much down time for them.  So I was quite willing to agree to watch all 6 while Ben and Jes had a little get-away for a couple of days.  As the time approached I began to wonder if I could keep up with all those babes and their activities.  I was especially worried about caring for the youngest, Jonathan.  He isn't a year old yet and is very attached to his mama.  In fact, he hasn't ever been away from her for long.  And he doesn't think much of me, judging from past experience.  Would he tolerate my efforts at temporary mothering?

Layne planned on coming with me until granddaughter Allegra volunteered.  She has a way with kids and seems to enjoy babysitting duty.  Eagerly I accepted her help, leaving Layne off the hook.  We girls left for our family errand on Thursday.

I tend to be a very structured person.  I like things done just so and organized just so.  Somehow I have evolved to this.  Time works its strange adjustments upon us.  Fortunately, Jes had made out a list of what we were to do each day with the kids.  We organized ourselves from there.  I'm happy to report that all went well.  My experiences with the kids left me with two refreshed insights:

1.  Kids are adaptable and will do whatever they need to, to get along.  Baby Jonathan realized very early in our time together that I was it for him.  He soon preferred me to everyone else in the household.  He clung to me, hugged me and nuzzled me.  It was quite endearing.  Except for the nights.  Jon doesn't make it through the night.  Both nights I had to hold him, clam him, search for his bink and experience his thrashing, kicking, smacking and general sounds and movements in the dark.  Sleep was elusive, you could say.  But by mornings he was his sweet, charming self.  He was my boy.  He was happy with my efforts to care for him.  KIDS ADJUST and do what they have to do to get by.  

2.  William, 7 years old, has a temper.  He "rises to the bait", as my mother-in-law used to say about the victims of teasing.  William's little brother, Zachary, a darling, dark eyed little guy, loves to quietly torment Will until he explodes in screams and hits.  Being the noisy one, he gets the blame for the trouble.  I understand this.  It happened to me and my little sister too.  You maybe can guess that I was the noisy explosive one.  After one of Will's particularly violent explosions I took him in my arms and quietly told him I understood how he felt but that violence was never right.  As I spoke to him gently, he calmed down.  I then gently told Zach that his teasing and tormenting was also wrong.  As I spoke softly to the boys, the atmosphere calmed and the anger dissipated.  It isn't natural for me to respond to strong emotion with gentleness.  But I prayed for the ability to do it, and I believe that is why I was able to respond softly.  It was a lovely example of one of my favorite scriptures, Proverbs 15:1  A SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY WRATH, BUT GRIEVOUS WORDS STIR UP ANGER.  I'm going to keep trying to be soft.

Jonathan and me; my boy, for the moment.

Saturday night we had the kids in bed but not asleep when Ben and Jes returned.  I believe they had a good time.  So did we!  The time with the children was good, but exhausting.  Allegra talked to me all the way home, then we settled back into familiar territory, weary to the bone.
 

Carmen On My Mind

Last weekend was our extended Family Home Evening.  We celebrate family birthdays of the month at these occasions.  We celebrated son-in-law Cliff.  We also spoke of our departed Carmen, who would have been 12 on August 10th, if she were still here with us.  I have been thinking of her all week.  I imagine her, lovely and bright, looking down upon us.  There are some of the grandchildren now who have never known her.  It seems important to remind them, and all of us, that there is a sweet little one missing who belongs to us.  So we speak of her at her special times; the time of her arrival in August, and her departure, in February.

Brentwood friends of son Reed and his Dorothy wanted to spend some time honoring Carmen's memory on Friday the 10th.  So we all met at her school in Brentwood for a pot luck.  We spoke of Carmen and other things, and we ate.  We ended the event by viewing a memorial for Carmen at the school, and releasing purple balloons.  Isn't it interesting what a little girl can do for people.  Her struggle for life touched so many other lives.  Those at her school remember.  Many in the community remember.  One precious life.  Although short, it was a gift.  We must always remember.

The memorial for Carmen, located at her elementary school,
Knightson, in Brentwood, CA

Balloons to celebrate Carmen, at the ready near the memorial.
Note Audrey at the left and allegra in the middle.

Balloons released.

Purple balloons, reaching for heaven.

Brown Sugar Frosting

Wednesday August 8:  Audrey and her family will be here for dinner tonight.  I decided to make some kind of original dessert. Well, not exactly original, but a dessert that I haven't made for a very long time.  I settled on Butterscotch Chiffon Cake.  Mother used to make it on a regular basis when I was a girl.  It was almost as good as her pies.  I used her recipe for this cake for a cooking contest when I was in college.  It didn't win but it kept me in the contest.  Tonight this memory cake will grace our table after a very long absence.

I decided that brown sugar frosting was just the thing for this cake.  As I melted the butter and mixed in the brown sugar I was carried back to our San Leandro house.  There I stood at our stove, stirring this very same mix.  Not for frosting.  It was just for me.  Just as it was, a delectable mix of grease and sweet.  I had a passion for this simple, sweet delight.  Even though I suspected that sampling this treat might make my face break out and add a pound or two, I could not resist it.  So, once in awhile when I got home from school, I would mix it up.  Brown sugar and butter.  Throwing guilt to the wind, I would eat it.  And it was culinary heaven.  I sampled it again today and it tastes just as wonderful.

House

Our house has been on the market for several months now.  It has been weeks since anyone has come to look at it.  Knowing that it would take awhile to sell a two family house on six acres, we have settled into a normal routine, as if we were going to stay here forever.  But this past week, shock of all shocks, not just one party but THREE different parties have come to look at the house!  Things do indeed come in bunches.  Two of the three really like the place, I think.  Both were women who said they wanted to bring their husbands to see it.

Now I am imagining leaving here again.  For all of my efforts at the collecting of things that I don't like about being here, what has come to the forefront of my thoughts is all the things I DO like about being here.  Without my permission those thoughts are trampling through my mind and I can't seem to rid myself of them.  I like it here.  Leaving is a leap into the dark.  Where will we go?  What kind of a home will we settle on?  Where will it be?  All week, as I move through our home, I imagine packing it all up.  Again.  Leaving here will come.  I must brace myself for it.

In the meantime, there have been updates to the house that have needed to be done for several summers.  This past week I took on two of them.  Donning my very messy painting duds, I took on the deck off of the master bedroom and re-stained it.  What a job.  The stain is very runny and very permanent.  But I got the job done and it looks great.

Then I moved on to the front door.  It is supposed to be red but the seasons have faded and peeled it until it has looked very sad indeed.  I painted it yesterday.  Wow, what a difference.  It is red and shiny and altogether beautiful.  If you like red.  Which I do.

Layne on our newly stained deck.

Me with our bright, shiny and very red front door.

Just so you know, my new computer and all of the additional equipment I ordered came this past week.  I have it all set up.  I am overwhelmed with the newness of it all and the possibilities it gives me.  I'm beyond excited.