A Decision to Move On

We spent so much time planning our home here on our hill.  As I walk through the spaces I take such pleasure in how they work together to serve our needs.  I love the colors, the order of things, the arrangement of the rooms.  But for awhile now a growing awareness of the burden of it has been developing in my mind.  Layne and I talked about it recently.  We have decided that it is too expensive to stay here.  Wow.  I didn't think this would happen, but we are now thinking of moving somewhere else; somewhere much less expensive.  It seems like the right thing to do, to live more providently.  And so we are going to put our house on the market in April.  It may take a long time to sell, so we've decided to move on it now, before we feel a desperate need for it.  We'll see what happens.

The first day after this decision I felt very blue.  During my daily scripture reading, I ran across a verse that popped out at me.  I believe it was a message to me.  It reads:

"...we have been driven out of the land of our inheritance; but we have been led to a better land..."
(2 Nephi 10:20)

This passage struck me with force and seemed to say to me that I mustn't fear this coming change; that all will work for our good.

As the days pass since the decision, I feel less and less sad.  I'm not saying that leaving here will be easy.  No.  But I will adjust.  I see in my mind another home; a cozy place surrounded by plenty of dirt for Layne and a yard that will grow things; wonderful things like flowers and vegetables.  Perhaps we can find a spot where the critters don't eat just about everything we plant and where the water that runs from the hose nourishes instead of kills plants.  There are definitely challenges here.  I guess I'll concentrate on those and not on the lovely house and the beautiful views, or the feelings of peace and safety that fill our valley.  Or the stars that shine so brightly at night from here.  Or the perfect location.  No, I'll ponder what I don't like a little more.

This family of deer greet us each morning.

Here is Ben and Jessica's youngest, Jonathan.

I've spent some time this past week helping daughter-in-law Jessica move into their new place in Palo Alto.  I enjoy figuring out organizational systems.  So while I help her and Ben move in, I'll ponder our own moving out.

For Love of Family

Not feeling good definitely puts a dent in one's style.  At least that is so when used to feeling good.  Our Dorothy came out of her appendix surgery fixed, but in pain.  I spent the day with her on Monday, helping with the babies (her son and her foster son) and taking the older boys to various destinations.  She asked if I'd take the babies home with me for the week.  So we packaged them up and I brought them home.  Two little boys.  Grandson Bruce is 13 months and foster son John is 19 months.

I assumed that meant an end to most of my plans for the week.  I always have plans, you see.  And I'm working on making them loose so I can accomodate family needs.  Each day of this past week had a plan.  I reorganized in my mind to eliminate all that I could.  But, what do you know, there was no need.  These little boys were a surprise package of fun and low upkeep.  With granddaughter Allegra's help, we did all we planned to do, almost.  The little boys were such fun to have around that we almost fought for the privilege of staying with them.  They played together in harmony and had no demands, except for food.  That came strongly and with regularity.  It was fun to see what I could fix that they both would eat.  And eat they did.  Caring for them put a song in my heart.  I held them, danced with them, read to them, played with them, ate with them.  It was all so fun.  I suppose I was a little surprised at how quickly I became attached to them and took joy in being with them.  Our little boys filled my heart with tenderness and such exquisite pleasure.

Little John is bi-racial; the illegitimate son of a very young father and a mother who is in prison at the moment.  His father visits him but seems not to want to take responsibility for him.  He is a lovely little boy, who warmed to us quickly.  We took special pleasure in seeing his smile and making him laugh.  We tried to give him extra affection, as he so much needs.  I have a hope that the love we give him now will somehow be stored inside of him as he faces what appears to be a troubled future.  Perhaps somewhere in his memory he will sense that he is loved when struggles come to him, as they surely will.

In spite of  the boys, I fixed a candle light, romantic dinner for Layne on Valentine's Day.  I asked him what he would like for dinner, knowing what he would probably say.  Steak.  Yup, I knew it.  A dinner together and valentines exchanged made up our celebration.

Here is John, tentative, but responsive to affection.

This is our Bruce.  He is a happy spirited child, patient and undemanding.
He is a bundle of pure pleasure.

Wednesday, after our temple shift, I completed my preparations for a talk to Relief Society women in our old ward in Fremont.  Seeing my familiar ladies was a joy.  They know and love me.  They know my history.  It is very nice to be known.  I don't feel that in my new environment and I miss it.  The talk was comfortable and wandered a bit from what I had prepared.  But I think it went well and the ladies responded and discussed, as I hoped they would.  It was a good experience.  I don't give many talks these days.  With Layne being a patriarch now, it looks like we won't do much else, as long as we are in this stake.  I sometimes miss the challenge of putting ideas together in interesting and unique ways.  There is something about teaching that is magical.  At least for me.  I put lots of thought into it, as it is not just an assignment for me, but something that I want to do just right.  Not everything is like that for me, but teaching is.  It is an active part of my thought and effort.  I wish I were better at it.

Thursday we helped Ben and Jes move.  Again.  They gave up their previous rental and are moving into a new one, still in Palo Alto.  With six children, they have lots of stuff.  Jessica asked if I would organize her kitchen.  Ben wanted Layne and Cliff to help move the big items.  So, leaving the babies in Allegra's capable hands, we spent the day moving and sorting.  Wow, what an overwhelming task.  We worked hard and fast but still only put a dent in what needs to be done.  But we left them with a working kitchen, furniture basically in place and bedrooms organized.  Eating and sleeping seem to be the most necessary things.  We returned our babies to their home in Brentwood Friday night and returned to Palo Alto for more moving chores on Saturday.  It is an exhausting experience.  But I find that I like organizing things.  There is great satisfaction in setting things up to look good and function well.  Looks like I may return to help Jessica some more this coming week.

This weekend was our stake conference.  I was on my own now that Layne has a stake position.  That requires me to be more outgoing in getting acquainted with people.  I find that to be hard.  Still, after almost 5 years, I feel mostly like a stranger here.  I need to reach out more.  I'm working on that.

Health Ponderings

This is the time of year that I indulge in health issues.  I visit my collection of doctors to make sure my body is still working properly.  Last week I saw my GP.  I really like her; I feel that we are friends.  She was feeling rather scattered when I saw her.  We talked about a variety of things other than my state of health.  She took my vitals, told me to get another mammogram and a colonoscopy.  I enjoyed my visit with her but generally felt that nothing much came of it.  I fear that, with the coming dark cloud of Obamacare, we older kids will get less and less of the medical pie.  That comes at the time of life when more is usually needed.  Which leads me to conclude that I'd better take more responsibility for my own care.  So I'm thinking about looking after my own vital signs and foregoing the doctor altogether until there is some sign that something is actually wrong.  I'm also going to be careful about my diet and am already into a more vigorous exercise program.  I guess I'm beginning to feel medically abandoned.  Perhaps it is just the expectation of feeling so.

Layne and I are also talking about selling our country home.  Make no mistake, I love it here.  But it is expensive and takes lots of work to maintain.  We are thinking that we should get into a cheaper situation, with less work involved.  It makes me sad to think of it since we built this place to fit our dreams.  As I walk through the rooms, I feel so happy with the way it fits us.  On the other hand, we are adaptable beings.  I know I can adjust happily, once it is required of me.

Our local family met at our house last Sunday.  We celebrated February birthdays, had a Family Home Evening lesson, discussed family schedules and made family plans.  I love our proximity to three of our five families. Our location seems just right.  Lately I have felt a push to teach our grandchildren more keenly of family ties, gospel principles and patriotism.  Perhaps there is a little spirit of agitation in me at the moment.  Or something like that.

Layne promised to take me on weekly dates for my birthday.  I keep dreaming up things for us to do and have come up with quite a list.  This past Tuesday our date took us to Monterey to visit friends Howard and Sandra Burnham.  We met them while performing in Nutcracker.  Howard is a professional actor.  They are both from England and have the delightful accents that go along with that heritage.  On Tuesday Harold played Charles Dickins, in a one man show.  We went to see his performance.  We had a wonderful bond with them.  Once in awhile you meet people that warm your heart.  These two do that for us.  I hope that we can spend more time with them.

Here's a scene from Sunol Regional Park, where I've begun
hiking with Audrey and the kids.  I'm loving it.

Our February birthday boys, Vincent (in the hat)
and Timothy, who will be baptized soon.

Here is Reed,  Dorothy and family.  The two birthday boys are part of the group.
Dorothy went in for surgery yesterday to have her appendix removed.  She's
pretty smiley here for a pre-op condition!  

I'm grateful to have good people in my life.  In spite of all the struggles, people make life happy.  At least most of the time.

Taiwan and Chinese New Year

One of the greatest pleasures in life has got to be eating.  That being the case I can safely say that our eight or so days in Taiwan were all pleasure.  We arrived there the day before the first day of Chinese New Year, as requested by Gerald and family.  I can now safely state that the major activity of the New Year's week is eating!  Each day of the week is devoted to celebrating with some branch of family.  Our first day (Sunday) was spent with father's side.  Next day was spent with Mother's side.  Then it was cousins, aunts, uncles and so forth, filling each day of the week with celebration.  We spent three hours of each day at a banquet.  The best of the eats are served during these; 10-12 courses of them!  I always began eating saying to myself that I would pace my eating to a moderate level.  So I took just a little of almost everything.  But after 12 or so dishes, a little here and there add up to a major fill.  We ate with granddaughter Rayne, son Gerald, wife Frances and two babes and assorted other family each day to an absolutely stuffed condition.  I've never eaten so much, so consistently.  Each meal is accompanied by assorted toasts to the New Year.  It was all so fun, and so filling!

I wouldn't want you to think that ALL we did was eat.  Frances filled our remaining time with assorted other activities.  We visited several temples and enjoyed seeing the masses of folk come to visit their assorted gods, burn incense and bring offerings.  Many in Taiwan practice Taoism, most (Frances tells me) only occasionally.  Chinese New Year is one of those times.  There are gods for just about every interest; you pick the one that represents yours and offer incense and fruit.  The temples are very colorful, which I like.  We visited a giant Buddha on the same grounds as another Taoist temple.  I thought it odd that two different faiths would share the same space.  One of the workers at the Buddha statue said that they were open to whatever the people wanted; it was all good.  It was fascinating to walk inside the big Buddha and see various statues and explanations of the belief structure of Buddhists.  There are common elements in all faiths, it seems, lending credence to the idea that it all began as one faith.  I believe that to be true, knowing that it is the tendency of people to change things, and, over time, the changes can be very great indeed.

This is an open market in Feng Yuan, where Gerald and Frances live in Taiwan.
Frances says that most people shop for food here.  It is filled with fresh vegetables
and fish among other things.  Assorted smells alone tell you where you are.

This is the interior of a Taoist temple in Feng Yuan.  Foreground is a table with offerings for
the assorted gods in the temple, one of which rests in the distance behind the table.

Layne and I are posed on the grounds shared by a big Buddha and a
Taoist temple.

Near the big Buddha, Rayne stands in front of a lion, who stands guard over
the sacred grounds.  Lions are common guards in front of temples here.

Here is the big Buddha, with family in the foreground:  Rayne, Layne and Gerald
in the back, Angelica, cousin Anabell, and Seth.

Here are Seth, Gerald and Frances at one of our banquets.

One of the banquets was held at a relatives huge warehouse.  His business is making and selling
motorcycles, some of which you can see in this view of his factory.

Just one of the many dishes served at our numerous banquets.  This one was a part of every day's
servings.  Shrimp were offered whole, leaving the eater with the task of removing the head, feet and shell.

Rayne, Seth and Angelica, after feasting at the motorcycle factory. 

Angelica standing in front of a sacred (translation:  old) tree, located on a mountain near
Feng Yuan.  We drove a windy road to the top of the mountain, then walked a long way
to see it.  After three hours of walking, we slept very well that night!

This trip gave us opportunities to spend some quality time with Gerald and his whole family.  We loved that.  We got to spend lots of time with Rayne also.  She is teaching at Gerald and Frances' school and seems to be enjoying it.  Grandchildren Seth and Angelica warmed up to us, which pleased me so much.  Angelica especially seemed to seek me out.  I loved it.  We had wonderful visits with Frances and her family as well.  They are a wonderful collection of quality people.  All in all our time in Taiwan was our best yet.

We left for home last Monday, arriving that same day (since we flew over the date line).  Wouldn't you know, we got First Class seats once again.  Ah, the luxury of that!  One of the nice things about First Class is that they feed you very well.  As you may conclude from the above narrative that was something we really didn't need.  But did that stop us?  Well, no.

No matter the pleasure of the adventure, it is always good to be home.  We have spent this past week in our  usual routine, but our state has been decidedly soggier.  I lack luster and energy, lusting after sleep.  But we are returning to normal and not regretting this small sacrifice for the blessing of the trip.