The Busy-ness of Home

Why is it that desirable things all seem to come at once? During those intense days with my sister in Colorado my son Gerald, who lives in Taiwan, came to visit in Sunol. Daughter Jessica's three children were also at our home. Where was I? In Colorado! "It's all good", as the saying goes. But I felt torn between all those "goods." I kept my commitment to my sister Maryanne, but longed to somehow reach back to home as well. So when Layne suggested I end my Colorado stay by flying right home, I was happy.

But granddaughter Rayne was graduating from BYU Idaho in just a couple of days. She wanted me there soooooo, I gave up my trip home and, instead, drove to Salt Lake with Maryanne, where I met up with daughter Audrey and hub Cliff and drove to Idaho with them. As with so many things that take effort, it was worth it. Rayne looks lovely and her graduation was fun to see. You can see her here, in her robes, in one of the campus gardens.

I was lucky enough to get on an early flight home from there the very next day, on Saturday. I arrived in time to greet Gerald as he and the kids were driving out, on their way to Utah. Our Gendreau kids were still here though so we were at no loss for grandkid company. Layne did a grand job taking care of kids and all else while I was gone. One of the great things about being gone for me is being missed by this hub of mine, who rejoiced upon my return. Now I could take care of the grandkids. How romantic!

Daughter Jessica arrived from Seattle the same day I arrived home. It was great to have her with us. It's a rare thing these days since she is running a book store. We had fun with her and the kids and sent them all off for their home on the following Tuesday. It was a great bond all around even if exhausting. But maybe I'm saying that because I came home exhausted to begin with.

So now here we are, in the quiet that we two alone generate, surrounded by the new collection of boxes from Mom's that Audrey and Cliff were generous enough to bring home to me in their truck. Somehow seeing Mom's things contained in just seven boxes makes it all seem more manageable. I've got all but the family records sorted out and incorporated into the house. Too bad I can't say that this is all. We've made a dent in Mom's things but only just that. Over the next few months we hope to get the bulk of the sorting done. In the meantime, I'm home, alone with Layne, enjoying some open days to do with as I please. For now.

Pictures:  Top is our graduating Rayne; son Reed and his son James are in the thick of a chess game (they came to visit several times to bond with Jessica and her kids); Layne is standing next to a navy buddy, Larry Durbin, who came to visit with his wife, Teddie.  They are great people and also retired from United Air Lines.  Bottom is a glimpse of a day at the beach with Audrey, Dorothy, Jessica and kids.  You see the day through the eyes of grandson Bruce, who LOVED snacking on the sand.

Sorting

Traveling is not my favorite thing to do. Perhaps it is the United Airlines stand-by system that does me in. Each time I leave for the airport butterflies enter my stomach as there is no certainty that I'm going anywhere at all, besides the airport itself. One has to have some spirit of adventure to handle this process. As I grow older I seem to have less and less of it. At any rate on Tuesday evening I began my journey to Salt Lake to meet up with my sister Maryanne. Two late flights to Salt Lake looked promising. I can't imagine why they schedule such late arrivals; it doesn't seem like a prosperous schedule at all. I DID make it on of those flights. That is the good news. The bad news is that both were delayed, making my arrival at the Salt Lake Airport 12:30 AM! My poor brother-in-law, Bob, was there to pick me up without complaint.

Maryanne and I drove to Cedaredge from Salt Lake on Wednesday. It was a lovely drive and I enjoyed a visit with Maryanne that we have not had for three years. The days following have been full of sorting and disposing of the many possessions of my lovely Mother, who saved absolutely everything she ever received. There it all was, papers and mail from years ago, treasures of all sorts that she inherited and received from friends, all piled up in fruit boxes in her garage and behind room. Dirt and general vermin filled the cracks and crevices throughout. But we piled through and managed to dispose of an impressive amount. At least we were impressed. We ended each day covered in filth and grime, but warm with the notion that we were making progress. We enter this week with plans to work inside the house. It's a much cleaner place to be and is filled with family records of all sorts. It is fascinating and frustrating all at the same time. As much progress as we feel we are making, there are piles more to go. One trip definitely will not do the job.

I'm having trouble sleeping here. Perhaps it is the unresolved thoughts about Mom that keep sleep from me. I can't put a clear conclusion on it but I feel a general discontent with being here. I guess I miss my mom and her lively presence. The place is empty without her. It doesn't feel quite right to go through all her things and dispose of them in some way or another. She would not have it in life so I suppose there are some residual feelings in my heart that she may not like it now either. Yet it must be done. I suppose I have my own feelings to sort out as well as her stuff. I also suppose that it will all resolve itself with time.

We've had little in the way of company since we've been here. That has been a blessing. But on Sunday our friend, Tracy Munson, came for a visit. Sometimes conversation can take a magical turn. Our small talk with Tracy turned into a lively conversation about developing talents, using life productively and joyfully and making sense of our journey by adding a meaningful spiritual dimension to it. With such conversations, the Spirit of the Lord enters and warms all. It happened with
our conversation with Tracy. At these times the joy of intimacy invades and rewards, making interaction with friends so rewarding. It was so for us last night.

Today we address the challenge of the house once again.

Pictures: Top is a picture taken by my nephew, Mark, of Mom's mail box, with her driveway and home in the background. Middle you see the trash we accumulated from the room above and the garage. Bottom picture is of the room behind Mom's garage. We began with little room to even move around and quit with lots of moving around space. The picture doesn't do justice to our accomplishment!

Another Cousin Camp

Layne told me not to do it. But I decided not to disappoint the kids so this past week we had a rather informal Cousin Camp. Eight of our grandkids spent the week with us. I admit to being unusually tired. The house was not prepared either. Piles of stuff we brought home from Mom's place fill our rooms. But on they came anyhow. I didn't plan any activities for them as I did last year. They just did their own thing. I put them all in Mom's old room, moving her stuff out of sight.

Wow, what a thing to keep 8 kids happy. My time was totally taken up in their service. Breakfast led into lunch which led into snacks and drinks, then dinner. It was hot. I offered them a trip to the beach and they got so excited. But I could find no second driver to get all those kids there. So Audrey and I decided to get a kid pool for here and have them make do with that. Well...one thing led to another and I wound up getting a much bigger pool than planned. What a blessing it turned out to be. The kids loved
it! What a marvelous score. No worries for the rest of the time.

I often think that I have to "keep the kids busy" but I was delighted to see that these kids had no problems finding their own fun. They searched for life forms, like lizards, frogs and snakes. They helped the cats find mice. They raced on scooters and chased each other around the expansive space that surrounds our house. They watched movies and ate popcorn. They kept each other awake half the night. It was fun, but exhausting.

Friday found the local kids headed for their homes. Daughter Jessica's three Gendreau children remain. After the rest left it seemed like a vacation to only have these three. l have especially looked forward to time with them, as it is so rare. We've had such fun, just the three of them and us. Today we took them to Church. They are not used to Church and know little of the gospel. But they did just fine. We had a great gospel discussion over lunch. I talked to them about the Plan of Salvation and associated ideas. They got into it and asked some very good questions. I felt quite wonderful about the sweet ideas and truths that came forth from their interest and questions. I love this time with just a few of my babes. When the whole gang is here they connect with each other and I am their slave. But when there are just a few, they are my friends.

There has been no time to think or do anything on my own. I know there are issues to work through and stuff to be organized. I suppose that will come soon enough. Tuesday I leave for Salt Lake to meet my sister, Maryanne. We will drive to Colorado and sort more of Mom's things. I'm looking forward to it. There will be some time to rest, in between sorting. Or so I hope. I keep running into changes in my life without Mom. I can go to Salt Lake now without worries about her, for instance. I suppose it will take awhile to face all of the changes that are now before me. Mom was such a part of my life, routine and thoughts.

Pictures: top shows the grandkids all gathered around our cat, Tiki, as she tries to get a mouse she's trapped in the bush you see in the center of the kids. With their help, the mouse escaped. The middle picture shows our new kid pool with happy kids inside. It's pretty big, isn't it? The bottom picture is our Gendreau kids ready for Church.

An Unwinding

Layne and I headed for home with a loaded car on Wednesday morning. It was the first time since Mom's passing that we have been alone for any amount of time. We talked quite a bit. it was nice to have him to myself in an enclosed space where neither of us could escape. Layne has the ability to read me quite well. He senses what I need and does his best to provide it. I'm most grateful for that. We had a lovely time together traveling across the desert toward home.

We arrived home Thursday afternoon, loaded with bags and boxes from the Ranch. Who knew I "needed" so much stuff! Isn't it interesting how a desire for something that never entered your mind before can be awakened upon viewing that something. It is hard not to keep things that Mom treasured, even though they are basically "house clutterers". I'm going to give my kids a chance at these treasures when they come on Monday for Independence Day. In the meantime our home is filled with boxes and stuff.

These past few days I have felt so very tired. It is one of those times when I want to just sit and do nothing. That doesn't happen to me very often but it has hit me big-time now. Perhaps it is just a normal reaction to the high demand of the past months. Or maybe its more than that. While at the Ranch I missed the bottom stair in the wee hours of the morning and fell, hurting one of my little toes. I've been limping a bit since. Then early Saturday morning here I got the mother of all leg cramps. In getting up to stretch it out I fell again. My toe problem has created a bit of imbalance for me, you see. That's my excuse anyhow. That fall hurt the same foot and so I limped around all day Saturday.....again. Maybe that's part of my weariness. Or maybe it is just a mix of all sorts of things. At any rate nothing is put away and I'm surrounded by chaos.

Still can't move the pictures, or see them. But I have faith that the top picture is of Mom's grave. Next, grandchildren Scott and Allegra stand on the grave. Bottom is of me and my girls, Audrey and Jessica.