Mother

Friday evening Maryanne called me with the shocking news that mom had a major stroke and was in the hospital in Delta! I was stunned as I never thought mom would ever be vulnerable to strokes. It took awhile for me to digest the thought that mama could be in such trouble. Layne cleaned the kitchen for me and made plane reservations for Saturday morning. I threw my things together and flew on on Southwest as United was booked. It was a great flight; I like the way Southwest does things. They are organized and friendly.

Bob and Mar picked me up and we were off for Cedaredge. We arrived in Delta late in the afternoon and headed for the hospital. Mama is in ICU. Her room was crowded with people who love her. Bryan was already there. Also Renee and Jim, Steve and Sharon, Elaine and Cliff. Mama lay comfortably in her bed, her eyes closed, her coloring good. She looked peaceful and lovely. I took her hand and spoke to her. She immediately knew me and I could see that she was fully alert and knew all that was going on around her. She seemed happy to have us there. She spoke to me and I could understand her although her speech was somewhat slurred.

She cannot move her right side; the right side of her face has the droop the stroke has left her with. I talked to the doctor on the phone. He states that the stroke was a major one and did lots of damage. If she survives, it will take months and months of rehabilitation. He was impressed that her speech had improved. But she has made no progress in moving anything on the right side. And she is retaining too much liquid. So it is hard to say how this will turn out. I am a bit pessimistic but time will tell.

I don't feel ready to let go of my mama. She is 90 but such a vibrant, active, caring person, and such fun to have around. She adds much to my quality of life. I am trying to prepare myself for whatever comes next. I will consider it a privilege and a blessing to care for her, if that is what comes our way. If not, I must prepare to let her go. Her part in my life is everything to me; she is intertwined in just about everything I do and think. It will be hard to have her gone from me. My darling mother deserves every good thing; my hope and my prayer is that this will be as easy for her as can be and that she will be filled with the sweet spirit of God as she takes on this trial that may lead her off to the next world, back in the presence of daddy and all who must be waiting eagerly to be with her again.