Pressure Release

I have been fretting for weeks about a presentation I was asked to give at our stake Women's Conference.  Thanks to the wonderful women in our addiction family support group, I have been taken up with the notion that members of the Church don't use the Atonement as we should.  I believe it was meant to address not just big bad sins but all the little faults and weaknesses that we live with every day.  I think we tend to keep them, thinking that it is no big thing.  What a shame not to be working on perfecting our character and overcoming our individual collection of weaknesses and unloving behaviors.  I think the Lord would have us use His gift to overcome any behavior that is not loving.  That is the criterion for judging what it is we should change about ourselves.  So my talk centered on this idea.  I worried that it would come across negatively and would be discouraging to our women.  But I believe the Spirit was with me and that it turned out well.  At least I had some good feedback that I found encouraging.  It has been awhile since I have felt the magic of ideas expanding with the presence of the Lord's Spirit into something more than planned.  It makes doing such things as this joyful.

Lately I have felt overwhelmed by things to do.  Being here has, up to now, been a sweet, comfortable time, with open spaces and plenty of time to make plans to pursue things I have been putting off for years.  But lately I have felt my time taken up with outside assignments and commitments.  This week offered me a partial solution to this condition.  My temple supervisor called me into her office this past Friday, during our regular Friday shift.  She pointed out to me that since we began our temple service here I have missed about half of the shifts.  Hum.  I didn't realize that I was quite that bad at attendance.  She essentially told me that I needed to change my ways and make the temple commitment a top priority.  I told her it was as top as I was prepared to make it.  She was not happy with that.  As the day proceeded I felt quite strongly that my conversation with her was my ticket out.  I told Layne later in the day and he immediately said, "we're out of here."  So we met with the temple president and told him we would be leaving our temple service and would return at a better time for us.  Next week is our last shift.

Serving in the temple has been a joy ever since we began.  But at this temple, it has been problematic.  I have struggled with it.  So I feel a rush of relief at the idea of no longer being obligated to be in the temple all day every Friday.  So...my presentation is over and our temple obligation is just about over.  Just our calling to work with addiction recovery remains.  I feel so good!

Yesterday my sister's son Russell and his family had dinner with us and spent the night, on their way home to Seattle, returning from a visit to Utah.  It seems that Boise is a convenient stop on the way to other places and I love it.  We had a great visit with them and enjoyed our time together.  Perhaps this is the beginning of another guest-filled summer.  I'd love that.

My sister's son Russell Berrett and his wife, Kristy, their children Olivia, Berkeley, and Eliana with their new pup, Charlie.  They are standing on our front yard, looking a little brown with no snow.

Big Plans Gone Awry

I always have big plans, you know.  I have lists of things that seem to be oh, so important.  So I am on the go just about all of the time trying to get those items checked off.  I suppose I learned this high pressure life style from the one I know best.  Can you guess who that might be?  That guy I love and live with functions from lists.  I used to hate it.  Now I seem to have the same disease.  I simply MUST be productive in some way.  In my mind I know that I go way overboard with this.

But this week was different.  Beginning last Sunday night I didn't want to do a thing.  That feeling carried me through the whole of last week.  Actually, I didn't choose to feel that way.  I got some sort of bug that slowed me way, way down.  I found myself laying around the whole of the week, missing yoga, singing, temple, shopping, etc.  I missed it and I didn't care.  I didn't even look at my list of "to dos".  Instead I spent my days laying on the couch in front of the fire, sleeping, reading and thinking.  It seemed a sort of gift in a way.  Layne puttered around me, sympathizing, and cooking dinner all week long.  Valentine's Day was spent on the couch and the romantic dinner we planned to have turned out to be leftovers in front of the TV watching one of my favorite romantic movies, "Enchanted April."
But Layne did give me flowers and a lovely card.  And I did manage to give him a love note in his temple bag.  So it was sorta romantic.  For a sick girl.

                My Valentine Flowers, and another small one on the right from friend Phyllis.

I'm much better today.  So I suppose all that leisure is over, for now.  Or maybe I should slip some in now and then, just for fun.

Snow!

We have been home from California for several weeks now.  The brown hills of California have stayed on my mind, as they should be the rich green of winter and they are not.  Idaho has also been struggling with much less rain and snow than normal as well.  So last fast Sunday there was a general fast for moisture.  The very next day the snow arrived here.  And the rain found California!  It feels like an answer to our prayers and I'm taking it as such.  I love the snow!  Maybe it is the California in me, but I find it beautiful and don't even mind shoveling it.  It is a fairy land here now and more snow and some rain is still expected.  I don't even mind driving in it as much as previously.  Layne bought snow tires for the car and it has made quite a difference.

I'm beginning to feel the pressure of lots to do here, much like I used to feel when we were in California.  We are working on a presentation on pornography and I have a talk to give on using the Atonement.  In addition, our singing group is rehearsing again for a series of spring concerts.  We are getting to know people here and becoming involved in activities and projects with some of them.  Sigh.  Part of me would like to hibernate and do my own projects and part of me enjoys being involved with outside stuff.  How do I find the right balance?

I have been trying to get more interested in family history.  I would like to write the stories of our ancestors and share them with family.  I'm hoping to finally partner with my sister; she finds them and I write about them.  Recently I read a statement by one of the general authorities that computers and the wonderful technological gadgets that we have now were inspired by God to promote His work and that if we use them for that, notably family history work, they are much less likely to be used for such dark stuff as pornography.  I think that is an idea worth sharing and indulging in.

So, as the time rushes by, I feel grateful for the comforts of life, for the snow, and for the warm fire that burns before me at this very minute.  Soon we will be out in the middle of the evening weather, attending another of our pornography support group meetings.  And life goes on.

                                                  Our house, in between storms.

                                      Me shoveling snow from the driveway.  Such fun!

                         On the way out of our development; thank goodness for snow tires!