Daughters-in-law

Some weeks are solitary and some are not.  This past week was full of family efforts.  Daughter-in-law Jessica asked me to help her with kid activities on Thursday.  Daughter-in-law Dorothy asked me to help her with babies and house work several days this past week, as she continues her recovery from a hysterectomy.  While it took most of my open time, I like the combination of working and family.  I'm a working kind of girl; there is just something about it that I find fulfilling.  Perhaps it is because it is measurable.  Dorothy and I bought and assembled a shelf for her living room.  There it stands, a moment to our combined effort.  Measurable.  Observable.

Visiting and bonding on the other hand lives inside me, not easily measurable or observable.  Not that I don't like that as well.  But it is harder to measure the place it takes in the unrolling of time.  Dorothy and I have had some wonderful conversations accompanying our errands and work.  Understanding her enlarges my affection for her.  Jessica and I have also had sweet conversations.  There is something to be said for girl bonding.  I've mentioned it already, but I really enjoy spending time with the women in my life.  My daughters-in-law have become my girls, in heart and mind.

One of my dreams is to bring all of our grandchildren together for a week each summer.  We've managed to do that for a couple of summers now.  But there is always some of the kids missing.  This summer is speedily approaching and my plans for the yearly "cousin camp" are quickly needing major readjustments.  As I discussed it all with Layne, I lost my patience.  He sometimes sees things so differently than I do as to cause me major frustration.  The personality flaw I'm most interested in ridding myself of is impatience and anger.  So losing it on Layne put me in a bit of a depression--about myself and my inability to fix this part of me.  How does one change, really?

 We will work the cousin reunion out, I'm sure.  But I wish I could be gentler and more patient about it.  

My Thursday errand for Jessica included attending
the school kids' open house.  Here's Ben with Jacqueline.

Ben with Alexis.  I enjoyed the school Open House
quite well.

Here is Beecher Leversee, the young man who
has been living in a motorhome on our property
for months now.  He is leaving for good and
this is his goodbye picture.

An Eclipse and a Blessing

Layne had a special opportunity tonight to give a Patriarchal Blessing to our grandson, Scott.  Since he is a close relative, Layne can bless him even though he lives outside our stake.  Scott is the eldest son of our son Reed and his wife, Dorothy.  The whole family came over tonight and sat in on this special blessing.  Their tenderness after the blessing told me that the Spirit was there and it went well.  I believe Scott felt the love of his grandfather and his Heavenly Father.    That was proven to me when I transcribed it a few minutes ago.  What an amazing privilege it is to have such things happen to us.

Layne and grandson, Scott, after the blessing

Layne's pinhole pattern for seeing the eclipse

The eclipse at its height, as seen through the pinhole, on cardboard.

Afterwards we called son Gerald in Taiwan (via SKYPE--another blessing) and sang him Happy Birthday.  Shortly after that we witnessed the solar eclipse.  Layne made a cardboard cutout to measure the eclipse and it was fascinating!  We all gathered at the appointed time to see it at its peak (the sun was 95% covered) as measured on our cardboard cutout.  Then we enjoyed our dinner to the dimmed summer sunlight of an eclipse.  Pretty fascinating!

A Little More Old Lady

When things come in bunches, they are hard to ignore.  As I may have mentioned previously, my goal for this year is fitness.  So I've been exercising regularly four times a week at least.  Tuesday was tennis.  It is such fun, and I believe I am getting better at the game.  Since taking some lessons, I can at least diagnose what I continue to do wrong.  But I think I'm also making more moves correctly.  So, to return to Tuesday, I was making one of my improved moves to return a ball when my left calf muscle contracted without my permission.  I stretched it; I walked it; I rubbed it.  It would not relax.  The game was over for me.  I hobbled to the car and later into the house.  Son-in-law Cliff diagnosed it as a strained muscle, involving some tearing.  He can tell all of this by feeling.  Amazing.  He told me what to do to fix the problem and I am proud to say that I have followed his advice to the letter.  Hence, today it is much improved.  I've never experienced this before and couldn't help thinking that maybe it was an old lady thing.  I was comforted to hear that daughter Audrey, much younger than I, has also experienced the same thing.  So maybe it wasn't exactly "old lady."

I mentioned things that come in bunches.  I also have a sore knee, as mentioned in previous blogs, and a sore joint on my hand.  It is enlarging as well.  So I have three active "issues" that seem to be calling to my attention my descent into senior-hood.  I have noticed that aging comes in cycles.  I seem to hold at the same level for quite awhile and then, out of nowhere, I take a slight plunge.  Right now it feels like I am plunging.  I'm glad that changes usually come gradually.  It gives one time to adjust.  So, OK, I'm adjusting.  At least I think I am.

Here's Bruce and John in the background,
at Reed and Dorothy's home in Brentwood.

Daughter-in-law Dorothy (mother of 6) went in for a hysterectomy on Wednesday.  I hobbled over to her home on Wednesday to stay with her and Reed's boys.  I spent the night on their couch, having fallen asleep there in my clothes, exhausted.  On Thursday I brought their baby Bruce and foster son John home with me for Audrey and her kids to care for, for a couple of days.  Whew.  I took a good nap on Thursday to get my strength back.  Maybe I really am descending into an older form of woman.  Or maybe I was just tired to begin with.  Hobbling is tiring after all.

Moms and Such

This is my original wedding ring, with the
band, now cracked at the bottom.

A couple of weeks ago Layne asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day.  Having recently broken my wedding band, I asked him for a new one.  He agreed!  Together we picked one out and had my wedding diamond set in it.  I love it!  It is a whole new ring!  And it was ready in time for Mother's Day.  I hate to go on and on about a piece of jewelry, but I simply must.  It is lovely and will certainly now outlive me.  I don't have a chance of wearing this one out.

Here's the new ring.  It is the white gold band in the middle,
trimmed in gold.  

This is the first year I have not had a mother to celebrate on Mother's Day.  It feels strange.  While I am sure my mother is doing just fine where she is, I continue to miss her.  Especially now.  This is a time to celebrate mothers and somehow, even though I am an older girl, I still want my mom.

My mother, Mary Margaret Knox Kiser
when she was 25.

In spite of that, we had a nice Mother's Day celebration.  Our men did all the cooking and clean-up and they made sure that there was something to eat that each mother among us especially loves.  I love having men in my life!  I heard from all of my children.  Some were here and some called.  Sometimes things click with conversations and they turn into deep exchanges.  Some of that happened yesterday.  I had a nice philosophical discussion with my son Reed about the use of time, among other things.  The options to plan just about all of my time looms before me many of my days and I love it.  But it is easy to waste it.  I wonder why it is still hard for me to discipline myself in using time wisely.  And why do I put the things I really want to do at the bottom of my list?  It seems that I am still a mystery to myself.

I've lately been thinking about life at this time and place in the history of the world and marveling that I can be here, in this place, with these people, at this time.  I'm keenly aware that, of all the people who have ever set foot upon this earth, I am among the very blessed.  We live in amazingly fine circumstances, among good people, with a gospel philosophy that enlarges mind and spirit.  It is something to celebrate.

I have been pressuring Layne to make some more family trips.  My place of choice now is Utah.  I'd like Layne to reconnect with his twin brother. They rarely talk.  Men are funny.  I talk to my sister all the time.  What is the deal with men?  Why do they not want to bond?  Layne loves his brother but feels no need to actually talk to him or to spend time with him.  I wonder how he can think of his brother as close to him under these circumstances.  How do men define "close"?  I've asked Layne about this but I cannot understand his answers.  He busies himself with various projects and yard tasks and loves it.  Spring finds him outside most of the time, cutting weeds and planting the vegetable garden.  He finds it fun and rewarding.  He seems perfectly content with his own company and doesn't seem to miss conversations with others at all.  I could never be a man.

Grandson Isaiah turned 14 this month.
Before him you see a chocolate cream puff
with strawberries and whipped cream.  Yum.