Sunday, January 2, 2011

Enduring


Have you ever felt so weary that sleep escapes you? I'm feeling that on this January Sunday. The holidays have rushed by so fast that I've lost track of the days. They were fun but over so quickly! Our kids came over for New Year's Eve and January family birthday celebrations. That includes mine! I love the informality of New Years celebrations. I didn't cook; just assigned food to the kids. I didn't decorate, just let things stand as they were. We rented a jumping house for the kids again and they jumped all day. So, it was a fun and relaxing time. We even stayed up to celebrate the new year with some energy and enthusiasm.

But I am oh, so weary. Not that it stops me from dreaming once again of what I hope to accomplish this coming year. I often wonder what is practical to hope for. I have big plans, but wonder if I measure the worth of my days too much by accomplishment. Perhaps I should think more of meditating moments and plan for more fun. The trouble is, my tendencies toward the unending pursuit of accomplishment is reinforced by a husband who is even more unrelenting in that area. Still, I have hopes of modifying my ways.

My Mom seems to be slowing down a bit. I am struck with thoughts lately of losing her. I believe I am more ready than ever for that eventuality, yet fear it as well. Her care increases in its demands, slowly but surely. I find that the challenge with it is not in caring or doing for her per se, but in enduring in the effort. There are times when I long to escape. But I won't. I'll hang in. I pray regularly to do it with pleasure. Mom deserves that.

We live in fog and dampness these days. There are growing complaints by many about the wetness of this winter. But I love it. When I awaken to the sound of rain, I feel happy inside. Water is life.

Top picture is our post New Year's Eve celebration with Layne in the background cleaning up. It's 1 AM but we are surprisingly lively. That changed the next day.

Bottom picture is granddaughter Rayne, on her way back to college at BYU Idaho. This is her last year!

1 comment:

Phyllis said...

Yeah! I got in! Wow! My blog was stuck at Oct. 3rd! I'm so happy to see all that has happened since then. Happy New Year 2011! This is one way which keeps me from feeling so far away from all my dear friends. I enjoy so much reading your comings and goings.