For Love of Family

Not feeling good definitely puts a dent in one's style.  At least that is so when used to feeling good.  Our Dorothy came out of her appendix surgery fixed, but in pain.  I spent the day with her on Monday, helping with the babies (her son and her foster son) and taking the older boys to various destinations.  She asked if I'd take the babies home with me for the week.  So we packaged them up and I brought them home.  Two little boys.  Grandson Bruce is 13 months and foster son John is 19 months.

I assumed that meant an end to most of my plans for the week.  I always have plans, you see.  And I'm working on making them loose so I can accomodate family needs.  Each day of this past week had a plan.  I reorganized in my mind to eliminate all that I could.  But, what do you know, there was no need.  These little boys were a surprise package of fun and low upkeep.  With granddaughter Allegra's help, we did all we planned to do, almost.  The little boys were such fun to have around that we almost fought for the privilege of staying with them.  They played together in harmony and had no demands, except for food.  That came strongly and with regularity.  It was fun to see what I could fix that they both would eat.  And eat they did.  Caring for them put a song in my heart.  I held them, danced with them, read to them, played with them, ate with them.  It was all so fun.  I suppose I was a little surprised at how quickly I became attached to them and took joy in being with them.  Our little boys filled my heart with tenderness and such exquisite pleasure.

Little John is bi-racial; the illegitimate son of a very young father and a mother who is in prison at the moment.  His father visits him but seems not to want to take responsibility for him.  He is a lovely little boy, who warmed to us quickly.  We took special pleasure in seeing his smile and making him laugh.  We tried to give him extra affection, as he so much needs.  I have a hope that the love we give him now will somehow be stored inside of him as he faces what appears to be a troubled future.  Perhaps somewhere in his memory he will sense that he is loved when struggles come to him, as they surely will.

In spite of  the boys, I fixed a candle light, romantic dinner for Layne on Valentine's Day.  I asked him what he would like for dinner, knowing what he would probably say.  Steak.  Yup, I knew it.  A dinner together and valentines exchanged made up our celebration.

Here is John, tentative, but responsive to affection.

This is our Bruce.  He is a happy spirited child, patient and undemanding.
He is a bundle of pure pleasure.

Wednesday, after our temple shift, I completed my preparations for a talk to Relief Society women in our old ward in Fremont.  Seeing my familiar ladies was a joy.  They know and love me.  They know my history.  It is very nice to be known.  I don't feel that in my new environment and I miss it.  The talk was comfortable and wandered a bit from what I had prepared.  But I think it went well and the ladies responded and discussed, as I hoped they would.  It was a good experience.  I don't give many talks these days.  With Layne being a patriarch now, it looks like we won't do much else, as long as we are in this stake.  I sometimes miss the challenge of putting ideas together in interesting and unique ways.  There is something about teaching that is magical.  At least for me.  I put lots of thought into it, as it is not just an assignment for me, but something that I want to do just right.  Not everything is like that for me, but teaching is.  It is an active part of my thought and effort.  I wish I were better at it.

Thursday we helped Ben and Jes move.  Again.  They gave up their previous rental and are moving into a new one, still in Palo Alto.  With six children, they have lots of stuff.  Jessica asked if I would organize her kitchen.  Ben wanted Layne and Cliff to help move the big items.  So, leaving the babies in Allegra's capable hands, we spent the day moving and sorting.  Wow, what an overwhelming task.  We worked hard and fast but still only put a dent in what needs to be done.  But we left them with a working kitchen, furniture basically in place and bedrooms organized.  Eating and sleeping seem to be the most necessary things.  We returned our babies to their home in Brentwood Friday night and returned to Palo Alto for more moving chores on Saturday.  It is an exhausting experience.  But I find that I like organizing things.  There is great satisfaction in setting things up to look good and function well.  Looks like I may return to help Jessica some more this coming week.

This weekend was our stake conference.  I was on my own now that Layne has a stake position.  That requires me to be more outgoing in getting acquainted with people.  I find that to be hard.  Still, after almost 5 years, I feel mostly like a stranger here.  I need to reach out more.  I'm working on that.

Health Ponderings

This is the time of year that I indulge in health issues.  I visit my collection of doctors to make sure my body is still working properly.  Last week I saw my GP.  I really like her; I feel that we are friends.  She was feeling rather scattered when I saw her.  We talked about a variety of things other than my state of health.  She took my vitals, told me to get another mammogram and a colonoscopy.  I enjoyed my visit with her but generally felt that nothing much came of it.  I fear that, with the coming dark cloud of Obamacare, we older kids will get less and less of the medical pie.  That comes at the time of life when more is usually needed.  Which leads me to conclude that I'd better take more responsibility for my own care.  So I'm thinking about looking after my own vital signs and foregoing the doctor altogether until there is some sign that something is actually wrong.  I'm also going to be careful about my diet and am already into a more vigorous exercise program.  I guess I'm beginning to feel medically abandoned.  Perhaps it is just the expectation of feeling so.

Layne and I are also talking about selling our country home.  Make no mistake, I love it here.  But it is expensive and takes lots of work to maintain.  We are thinking that we should get into a cheaper situation, with less work involved.  It makes me sad to think of it since we built this place to fit our dreams.  As I walk through the rooms, I feel so happy with the way it fits us.  On the other hand, we are adaptable beings.  I know I can adjust happily, once it is required of me.

Our local family met at our house last Sunday.  We celebrated February birthdays, had a Family Home Evening lesson, discussed family schedules and made family plans.  I love our proximity to three of our five families. Our location seems just right.  Lately I have felt a push to teach our grandchildren more keenly of family ties, gospel principles and patriotism.  Perhaps there is a little spirit of agitation in me at the moment.  Or something like that.

Layne promised to take me on weekly dates for my birthday.  I keep dreaming up things for us to do and have come up with quite a list.  This past Tuesday our date took us to Monterey to visit friends Howard and Sandra Burnham.  We met them while performing in Nutcracker.  Howard is a professional actor.  They are both from England and have the delightful accents that go along with that heritage.  On Tuesday Harold played Charles Dickins, in a one man show.  We went to see his performance.  We had a wonderful bond with them.  Once in awhile you meet people that warm your heart.  These two do that for us.  I hope that we can spend more time with them.

Here's a scene from Sunol Regional Park, where I've begun
hiking with Audrey and the kids.  I'm loving it.

Our February birthday boys, Vincent (in the hat)
and Timothy, who will be baptized soon.

Here is Reed,  Dorothy and family.  The two birthday boys are part of the group.
Dorothy went in for surgery yesterday to have her appendix removed.  She's
pretty smiley here for a pre-op condition!  

I'm grateful to have good people in my life.  In spite of all the struggles, people make life happy.  At least most of the time.

Taiwan and Chinese New Year

One of the greatest pleasures in life has got to be eating.  That being the case I can safely say that our eight or so days in Taiwan were all pleasure.  We arrived there the day before the first day of Chinese New Year, as requested by Gerald and family.  I can now safely state that the major activity of the New Year's week is eating!  Each day of the week is devoted to celebrating with some branch of family.  Our first day (Sunday) was spent with father's side.  Next day was spent with Mother's side.  Then it was cousins, aunts, uncles and so forth, filling each day of the week with celebration.  We spent three hours of each day at a banquet.  The best of the eats are served during these; 10-12 courses of them!  I always began eating saying to myself that I would pace my eating to a moderate level.  So I took just a little of almost everything.  But after 12 or so dishes, a little here and there add up to a major fill.  We ate with granddaughter Rayne, son Gerald, wife Frances and two babes and assorted other family each day to an absolutely stuffed condition.  I've never eaten so much, so consistently.  Each meal is accompanied by assorted toasts to the New Year.  It was all so fun, and so filling!

I wouldn't want you to think that ALL we did was eat.  Frances filled our remaining time with assorted other activities.  We visited several temples and enjoyed seeing the masses of folk come to visit their assorted gods, burn incense and bring offerings.  Many in Taiwan practice Taoism, most (Frances tells me) only occasionally.  Chinese New Year is one of those times.  There are gods for just about every interest; you pick the one that represents yours and offer incense and fruit.  The temples are very colorful, which I like.  We visited a giant Buddha on the same grounds as another Taoist temple.  I thought it odd that two different faiths would share the same space.  One of the workers at the Buddha statue said that they were open to whatever the people wanted; it was all good.  It was fascinating to walk inside the big Buddha and see various statues and explanations of the belief structure of Buddhists.  There are common elements in all faiths, it seems, lending credence to the idea that it all began as one faith.  I believe that to be true, knowing that it is the tendency of people to change things, and, over time, the changes can be very great indeed.

This is an open market in Feng Yuan, where Gerald and Frances live in Taiwan.
Frances says that most people shop for food here.  It is filled with fresh vegetables
and fish among other things.  Assorted smells alone tell you where you are.

This is the interior of a Taoist temple in Feng Yuan.  Foreground is a table with offerings for
the assorted gods in the temple, one of which rests in the distance behind the table.

Layne and I are posed on the grounds shared by a big Buddha and a
Taoist temple.

Near the big Buddha, Rayne stands in front of a lion, who stands guard over
the sacred grounds.  Lions are common guards in front of temples here.

Here is the big Buddha, with family in the foreground:  Rayne, Layne and Gerald
in the back, Angelica, cousin Anabell, and Seth.

Here are Seth, Gerald and Frances at one of our banquets.

One of the banquets was held at a relatives huge warehouse.  His business is making and selling
motorcycles, some of which you can see in this view of his factory.

Just one of the many dishes served at our numerous banquets.  This one was a part of every day's
servings.  Shrimp were offered whole, leaving the eater with the task of removing the head, feet and shell.

Rayne, Seth and Angelica, after feasting at the motorcycle factory. 

Angelica standing in front of a sacred (translation:  old) tree, located on a mountain near
Feng Yuan.  We drove a windy road to the top of the mountain, then walked a long way
to see it.  After three hours of walking, we slept very well that night!

This trip gave us opportunities to spend some quality time with Gerald and his whole family.  We loved that.  We got to spend lots of time with Rayne also.  She is teaching at Gerald and Frances' school and seems to be enjoying it.  Grandchildren Seth and Angelica warmed up to us, which pleased me so much.  Angelica especially seemed to seek me out.  I loved it.  We had wonderful visits with Frances and her family as well.  They are a wonderful collection of quality people.  All in all our time in Taiwan was our best yet.

We left for home last Monday, arriving that same day (since we flew over the date line).  Wouldn't you know, we got First Class seats once again.  Ah, the luxury of that!  One of the nice things about First Class is that they feed you very well.  As you may conclude from the above narrative that was something we really didn't need.  But did that stop us?  Well, no.

No matter the pleasure of the adventure, it is always good to be home.  We have spent this past week in our  usual routine, but our state has been decidedly soggier.  I lack luster and energy, lusting after sleep.  But we are returning to normal and not regretting this small sacrifice for the blessing of the trip.  

Friends and Travels

We've been planning and anticipating a visit from our Colorado friends Cliff and Elaine Conlon for several weeks.  Layne investigated a variety of places to go and things to do.  He is not much for doing things like that so I look forward to company that does.  I'd like to go and do a bit more but happily settle for what my man prefers:  staying home.  When that is possible.

Elaine and Cliff arrived Monday of last week.  We presented our array of possibilities to them.  Guess what they most wanted to do?  Stay home!  So we did.  Except for going to the movies and going out to dinner once, we hung out and bonded right at our house.  Cliff and I almost share a birthday so we celebrated both.  It was low key but very nice.  Considering that this upcoming year will be my last to be a 60-something, perhaps I should have indulged myself a bit more!

Cliff and Elaine Conlon, eating breakfast a little too early for smiles.
We had lots of fun with them.

The brown hills of home.  We've not had rain since a September sprinkle.
Finally rain was expected this past weekend...and it came!

Layne living the good life in First Class, on our way to Taipei, Taiwan.

Cliff and Elaine left on Thursday and we spent the day packing for a trip to Taiwan, to visit son Gerald and his family.  Friday morning we took BART to the airport and were blessed to catch the only flight to Taiwan on United for the day, which took us to Narita, Japan (transferring to Taipei from there).  When we've made this flight in the past we've always managed to get First Class seats.  I was anticipating the sweetness of this tradition all morning as we waited for a seat assignment.  We watched Business Class fill up, then First Class.  Ohhhh.  I was so disappointed!  But we did get on the airplane.  I must remind myself that getting on is the goal.  It's interesting how easily we get used to the good life and begin to think of it as our right.  I felt a bit ticked that we didn't get our usual luxury seats.  But why should I think if that as my "right" when we are not paying our own way?  I kept telling myself that getting on was a blessing.  And it was.  But I mourned my lost adventure in First Class as I sat in a middle seat in coach, sandwiched between Layne and a young man who would only eat kosher.

The good news is that we arrived in Nartia safely and early.  More good news:  the flight from Narita to Taipai was all luxury.  We got First Class!  So for three hours it was nothing but pure comfort and delicious food.  Gerald and granddaughter Rayne were there to meet us and all has gone well ever since.  Except I can't seem to get enough sleep!

Crowded Times

This picture was taken in September, at Mongolian
daughter Brynn's wedding.  She just sent it to us.
I think it is better than most.

Sunday birthday celebration for granddaughter Abigail, who turned 3.

Another January birthday; grandson Bruce tuned 1.

Two of our boys; Ben on the left, Reed on the right.

January is usually a nice, quiet time that is perfect for Holiday recovery.  But this January is turning out to be very busy indeed.  After our shift at the temple on Wednesday we were notified that my friend Rosemary Howard died.  I have mentioned her in an earlier blog but, to refresh, I have known Rosemary since moving to Fremont some 40 years ago.  She is about my age and the mother of 8 children.  When she was 55 she was in an automobile accident that resulted in a head injury.  After that incident she slid into an Alzheimer's type condition.  She quickly lost her mental capacity and shrank down to a fetal position, unable to do anything on her own.  Her husband, Zip, cared for her for the next 11 years, until this week.  Some of the children helped, but basically Zip was the one who was there for her every day.  He has been very devoted and anxious not to lose her, even in her extreme condition.  Perhaps that is why she lasted for such a long time.

Her daughter asked me to help dress the body.  I dreaded it, but met her at the mortuary on Thursday morning.  I did not want to see her fragile little body again, but it tuned out to be a sweet experience.  I can't quite put into words why it is.  I found it true when I helped dress our granddaughter Carmen and when I helped dress Mother.  Were those recently departed ones there with us?  I don't know.  But something sweet happens with this tender service of dressing.

I was also asked to speak at the funeral on Friday.  Boy did I sweat that out.  Rosemary's husband and 7 of her eight children are not active in the Church as Rosemary was.  They were in deep mourning.  What could I say?  I worked, prayed and worried.  By Thursday night I had a talk put together.  After I went to bed more ideas came to mind.  I got up and wrote them down.  When I awoke, more came to me.  I integrated it all and headed for the funeral.  I believe it turned out well.  It seemed to.  I hope Rosemary was pleased.  I hope it comforted the family.  I felt a warm, sweet spirit as I presented it.  But I was sooooo glad when it was over!

Friday afternoon we headed out for a get-away in Sonoma.  If you know Layne at all you know that he is not keen on such things.  He'd much rather stay at home with familiar habits and sights.  Just about any adventure I suggest to him is met by the same response.  "Let's just stay home."  But this time there was a  little outside pressure.  My high school buddy, Lyn Hooker, and her husband asked us to go.  We committed to it in November.  I bribed Layne by telling him that I would pay for the weekend out of my inheritance money so he should just relax and have fun.  So, off we headed, right after the funeral.

We arrived at a very nice, vintage hotel (Fairmont Sonoma) about 2:00.  Lyn and Jimmy arrived shortly afterwards.  We went to lunch and then settled in our hotel rooms.  We came to this particular place because Lyn, a lover of food and cooking, wanted to eat at the French Laundry, a very famous restaurant.  When she discovered that the cost was $265 a plate, she shrank and settled instead for another restaurant run by the same famous chef that cooked at the French Laundry.  Our dinner reservation was late so Lyn and I had facials at the hotel.  Wow.  For a mere $175 we experienced an hour of luxurious massage and all sorts of facial potions and rubbings.  I have to say that I loved every minute of it.  But the tight-wad in me will not do it again any time soon.

Lyn had no idea how to get to the restaurant in Yonksville.  It was supposed to be near our hotel.  But it turned out to be some 30 miles away.  No problem I assured them.  My iphone would show us the way.  Trouble was, I'd never actually used that iphone function.  So things got a bit mixed up on the way.  Ok, we got lost.  We finally made it though, and entered a small and very noisy restaurant, late but still able to get our reserved (two months ahead) table.  The famous food was good.  I'm no gourmet so I must admit that I wouldn't travel there again just for the food.  It was lovely but so are a lot of other places.  Still, it was an adventure.  Layne and I had a lovely bond.  There was something about being away with nothing to worry about that opens a person up.  I felt almost giddy with happiness at being away on this outing.  I think Layne enjoyed it in spite of himself.  We had a wonderful time.

The near-by kids came over yesterday to celebrate our January birthdays (there are 5 of them, including mine!).  It was a fun time.  Ben and Jes are all moved out of their rental and in an extended stay.  Did I mention that the owner of their home sold it and asked if they would be willing to break their lease and move out by January 16th?  She sweetened the deal considerably by offering to pay them $50,000 if they would do it.  Is there any question that they would?  Ben seems to fall into deals.  There must be something in his persona that makes things like this happen.  It looks like they have found another place that will open up the middle of next month.  So we will all chip in and help them move yet again.  Wow what chaos.  But rich chaos!

Dampness in Seattle

Now that Mom has left us, there is an opportunity for travel.  I don't have a passion for travel per se, but I do desire to connect with the people I love.  Our first trip of the year came up this past week as Layne and I found our way to Seattle, to see daughter Jessica and her family.  When we fly, it is always stand-by on United.  I'm still mad at our airline for all the mistreatment of their employees and retirees, but enjoy our remaining perk of free travel, albeit on standby.  Butterflies live in my stomach with each effort at air travel, as we never really know if we are going or not.  Thursday morning included plenty of apprehension as all flights for the day to Seattle were oversold, except the 7 AM  flight, which had ONE seat.  We got up at 3:30 AM to try for that flight.  Seems a bit early, doesn't it?  But taking BART to the airport involves an hour and a half travel time, and we arrived an hour early.  It makes for a long day and we were so hoping that our sacrifice of sleep would pay off.

As is often the case with early flights, there were lots of no-shows.  That opened things up for us.  Not only did we get seats, but so did all the other stand-bys.  Blessed again.  With this set-up I always measure our success in flying with the Lord's blessing.  Somehow we were meant to visit at this particular time.  This approach in my thinking helps me to make the most of things.

We had in-depth visits with both Jessica and her husband, Chris.  I felt that we understood their hearts during this visit.  Exchanges with the kids were more abbreviated.  This trip seemed to be for Chris and Jes.  Layne spent lots of time in Jessica's bookstore, as he is her book keeper.  It's a charming little used bookstore.  Jessica knows how to decorate and Chris knows how to provide the infrastructure needed.  The store has been open for a year and a half now.  They are giving it two years to turn a profit.  What is the future for books?  They will not go away entirely, but we all wonder how many will be displaced by technology.  What is the future for bookstores like theirs?  Jessica loves everything about books; their touch, smell, readability.  She glows in their midst and loves being surrounded by them.  That's a perfect fit for a bookstore.  Now if it can just become profitable.

Seattle provided its usual winter fare:  clouds, rain and mist.  In spite of it, we walked to the bookstore and back, taking an hour on the way there.  Wow.  I could really feel my "out-of-shapeness".  My shins are sore from the effort.  The mist wrecked my fluff "do" as well but I convinced myself that I didn't care about  such vain concerns.  During the walk anyhow.  For some reason I have a thing about hair.  I want it to be just right all the time.  How silly is that?  Silly indeed yet hard to let go of.

While we were there we went to a movie with Chris and Jes that I can recommend.  It was called, "The Artist".  Apparently it is a limited release, but so different and so good, with a positive message.  All in all we enjoyed our time in Seattle.  Our trip home was easy; there were lots of open seats on our flight.  So many in fact that we flew First Class!  That rarely happens on domestic flights these days.  We felt indulged and blessed.  The remainder of this month promises to be full of activity and yet another trip, as we prepare to visit our kids in Taiwan.  More on that as it unfolds.

Chris and Jessica's kids are below:

This is Miles, 10 this month, relaxing in the family room.

Gemma is the oldest at 11.

Here is Peyton, 7, in the middle of some chatter.

New Year's Eve

Abigail doing her own thing

 Isn't it interesting that life's experiences are almost never balanced.  There is either tons of something or a scarcity of it.  One has to look at the big picture to see any kind of balance.  Or so it seems to me.  Most of our days are pretty quiet now.  I've come to enjoy that.  But the holidays bring tons of people into my life and space.  I love that too even if it requires lots of effort to support.

New Year's Eve brought the local family once again to our house.  Layne rented an inflatable jumping thing for the kids again.  We filled the house with games and food.  It was wild and fun.  We replayed the nativity play of Christmas Eve and held our yearly talent night.  The pictures here show every grandchild displaying some kind of talent, except for the two babies.  I can't help feeling pleased in seeing each child willing and able to share something with the rest of us.  That's pretty impressive.  All them appear here, showing off their stuff.

Zachary 

So ends another year.  As I think of it, my usual New Year's Resolutions could be repeated yet again in 2012.  I seem to make little progress with them.  So, this year  I'm trying something different.  I'm only going to make one resolution:  get in shape!  Maybe if I just concentrate on one thing I can accomplish it.  Change is so hard.  For this one resolution I have done the following:
1.  Taken my weight and measurements (hoping both will go down!);
2.  Set aside the time I want to spend on exercise;
3.  Gone through my exercise tapes and arranged to use each one on a different day of the week;
4.  Set out my weights so they are easy to access, and committed to using them
2-3 times a week;
5.  Set out a work-out outfit;
6.  Told several people how committed I am.

William

Timmy doing sit-ups

So here's hoping that all this effort will pay off.  Happy New Year.

Jacqueline on violin; Alexis
on piano

Isaiah

Vincent

Scott

Allegra sharing her new business
venture as a knitter of toys;
She has made over $100 so far
(She also plays the piano)

James