Brentwood Business

Last Thursday night I had a strong impression that we needed to visit Carmen on Saturday. We left Mom home and went. It turned out to be a very quiet day at the Reed Galbraith home. We were the only visitors except for the lovely women who were sitting with Carmen when we arrived. We all sat together in Carmen's room and visited. Carmen seemed thinner and less responsive but very much with us.

Reed and Dorothy both had a feeling that she would not last the day. But she did! Dorothy mentioned hearing Carmen say "no" several times in a loud and firm voice. Could she have been turning down an invitation to leave us? I wish I understood how it all works. We are left to watch and wonder.

Rayne came home from college this weekend to see Carmen. She spent several days with her and returns to school tonight (Monday). You can see our lovely girl here, in purple (my least favorite color!).

Layne and I took Mom and went back to Brentwood today. The house was bustling with family. Dorothy's sister, two brothers, their kids, her father, our Ben and his family were all there! As before, we spent lots of time in Carmen's room. She looked much thinner to me today and had a very hard time responding to conversations offered to her. She seemed to be living in a world of unrelated thoughts. She spoke in response to some conversation she was having in her head. Once again, she repeated, "no", and had other comments that, to us, made no sense. Is she delirious? I cannot say. But she is in a different way than she was when we saw her last.

Mom really wanted to see her so Layne and Ben helped her climb the stairs. In their arms, she made it up and back down again. She spoke to Carmen in her soft voice. I don't think Carmen heard her, but, hopefully she felt the love that Mom was trying to give her. This little home is often full of people, and it is always filled with love.

Joys and Sorrows

There was a full moon this week. It bathed our place in moonlight. There is something magical about a full moon. You can see it's glowing effect in this photo, taken early in the morning, outside our bedroom window. Note the frost on the hills that confirms the early morning chill. In spite of that, Layne and I have been walking most mornings. I love it.

We spent yesterday at Reed and Dorothy's. Carmen now spends almost all of her time in bed. She has eaten little or nothing all week. I visited with her, in her room. She sleeps most of the time, but she was awake when I was there with her. She was too weak to look at me so this snapshot is of her profile. She is having trouble hearing, so I spoke loudly to her and tried to express the words of comfort that were in my heart to tell her. I wanted her to know that she was not ever going to be alone. Indeed, her room seemed to be filled with a warm presence. I believe that she is being looked out for by heavenly beings as well as earthly ones. I told Carmen that she would soon feel better and be able to run and sing again. It is true, once she is able to pass to the next world. It was pleasant to sit with her. She lay surrounded by stickers and her sticker book. There are a few minutes in the day when she adds some of the many stickers people have given to her to her little book. It seems to me that she will soon leave us. Dorothy sits with her most of the time. That is made possible by the many people who stop by and help in whatever way they can. Family has been gathering to see her and let her know she is loved by them. Dorothy's aunts came from the east earlier this week. Rayne is flying home today to spend a couple of days with her. Jessica and children came last week especially to spend time with her. We hope to send her off surrounded by love.

Family Business

Family needs have filled our time these past weeks. Mom is making progress but it is slowing a bit. Carmen is failing as you can perhaps see in this photo of her. She spends her days on the couch in the family room. She is very into stickers now and fills books with them at a steady pace. We are visiting her at least once a week now. Her parents, Reed and Dorothy, seem to be doing very well managing their family and caring for Carmen. They have a knack for caring, as their many friends attest to with their concern and service. There are so many good people in the world!

Once a month we have an extended Family Home Evening with our local families. Here you can see our gang at Reed and Dorothy's. Now that Ben and his family are here, there are lots of us! I love having much of our family close by.

Our daughter Jessica and her three babes visited us this past week. You can see them above. Jessica spent most of her time at Reed and Dorothy's. This time of family struggle is intensive, but has its blessings. There is a united caring for Carmen, and for my Mom. Both are precious souls, struggling now. I feel blessed to have such personalities in my own family circle. I can see that the people in my life bring much more joy than sorrow.

Carmen and Abagail

This past week has brought some changes into our life. Last Sunday I turned 66. It seems an uneventful age; just older. My family is very good to me; I talked with all of my children for my birthday. That was the best part. My sister Maryanne was here for a few days, including my birthday. She has a gift for making celebrations special. Layne took me out to dinner on Tuesday. He researched places that specialize in prime rib, my favorite restaurant fare. He found the Brass Door in San Ramon and that's where we went. I liked it very much!

Ben and Jessica were due to have their 5th baby this month; a little girl was expected. For awhile it looked like she would arrive on my birthday but she took her time and slipped into mortality on January 19th. She was over 8 pounds; a nicely formed child with a lovely little face. All went well and everyone is home and learning how to keep house with one more little one. We visited them on Tuesday and took lots of pictures of our new one. Her name has shifted from Isabel to Abagail and it looks like Abagail will stick. How wonderful it is to see a new, vibrant little life arrive in our family circle. Abagail appears to be a gentle soul, unruffled by the activity around her. She very sweetly let all of us take our turns holding her and looking into her lovely little face.

Our sad news came on the very same day as the good news just described. Our little Carmen has been given just weeks up to a few months to live! Her head now has multiple tumors and they have spread to her spine. After all this time of wishing for miracles, it looks like she will be leaving us after all. I am not fully resolved to it. I keep thinking that something will happen to somehow make her well. I suppose we could still have our miracle but it seems so remote now. However this turns out, Carmen will be okay. After all, returning to the Lord can hardly be a bad thing. But we were so hoping that we could keep her here with us. I see her smile and hear her laughter in my mind; I will do so forever.

Mama

Mom's home therapists are finished with their service. They were very good for her; especially Jim, who got her on her feet and walking. She has been walking ever since, with some help. There is so much that needs to return to her before she can be anywhere near fully functional. The in-house therapists have been gone since just before Christmas. I've started her on out-patient therapy through Washington Hospital in Fremont. She is learning some new techniques for improving. But I fear that she is reaching a leveling-off. I cannot see any major improvement since the home therapists left. I have been working with her each day on exercises that they recommended but she doesn't seem to be making significant progress. I feel a little discouraged. I am worried that she is losing her will to work. Work is what is required for any progress to take place. It is hard for her. She has been willing to put in quite an effort in the past but she seems less inclined lately. If she stays essentially as she is, a great deal of help is needed. I suppose I have not allowed myself to think in those terms, but perhaps it is necessary after all. She may be in just a temporary slump; time will tell.

Let there be salt

Layne was helping me organize things last month. He found a bag in the pantry that had a label that included the word "granulated". His mind filled in the rest of the label with "sugar" and he poured the bag in my sugar bin. Later that day I added a cup of it to my berry pie. I always taste pie filling to make sure I haven't forgotten anything and did so with this filling. It tasted pretty salty! It took me a minute to decide to taste the contents of my sugar bin. Sure enough, it was filled with salt! Since there was some sugar in the bottom of the bin, it was actually a mixture of salt and sugar. A big mixture! What would you do with such a concoction? I'm of a nature that hates to throw food away. So I mixed it all up and poured a little of it into a shaker. After all, there are quite a few things that take both salt and sugar. Now it is conveniently pre-mixed for me. So perhaps we have invented a whole new concoction! By the way, I rinsed all the salt off the berries for the pie I was making and started over again. It turned out fine.

Holiday Magic

My sister Maryanne (pictured with me above) came for a visit several weeks ago. We bonded for almost a week. She is trying to keep track of mom since she became a California girl and will return for another visit in a week or so. It's much fun to have the three of us together (counting mom).

With 4 of our children around for the holidays, we really have been busy! We've all been together for much of the past two weeks and it has been wild and wonderful. With 16 grandchildren here at the same time you can imagine all of the resulting activity. Lots of the kids participated in some of the 12 days of Christmas that Audrey and Cliff have designed for their family and willingly shared with the rest of us.It seems that traditions are coming to us in greater abundance now than when the kids were young and home with us. We held a "Bethlehem Dinner", sponsored by Audrey and Cliff, built gingerbread houses, had the Christmas play with all the kids participating on Christmas Eve. I tried to make it more successful by assigning parts and costumes ahead of time. I believe it made a big difference in how seriously the kids took the wonderful story and how well they acted it out.

On Christmas day we held our usual Christmas brunch, sharing of gifts between families, video of the Christmas play and a family talent show. Just about every child and some of the grown-ups participated in the talent show. It was our most successful yet!

The holiday spirit culminated in our New Year's Eve get-together. We ate, watched "Second Hand Lions (a movie favorite) and played games until the arrival of 2009. Here's hoping that it will bring us blessings and improve the status of our little angel Carmen and our loving matriarch, mom.

Pictures from the top: Maryanne and me during her visit several weeks ago. To the right of that is Miles (son of daughter Jessica) checking out his stocking on Christmas morning. Next are our angels all set to appear to the shepherds on the night of Jesus' birth. The third row down left is a scene from our nativity play; to the right of that is mom, surrounded by our daughter Jessica and her husband, Chris. Beginning the narrative is Alexis (daughter of son Ben), Allegra (daughter of daughter Audrey), and Jacqueline (Alexis' older sister). The girls are celebrating the Bethlehem Dinner mentioned in the narrative. To the right of that are Gemma, Miles and Peyton (children of daughter Jessica) participating in the family talent show. The last picture shown is Alexis admiring the Christ Child.