Galbraith Gab

Health Ponderings

2012-02-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

This is the time of year that I indulge in health issues. I visit my collection of doctors to make sure my body is still working properly. Last week I saw my GP. I really like her; I feel that we are friends. She was feeling rather scattered when I saw her. We talked about a variety of things other than my state of health. She took my vitals, told me to get another mammogram and a colonoscopy. I enjoyed my visit with her but generally felt that nothing much came of it. I fear that, with the coming dark cloud of Obamacare, we older kids will get less and less of the medical pie. That comes at the time of life when more is usually needed. Which leads me to conclude that I'd better take more responsibility for my own care. So I'm thinking about looking after my own vital signs and foregoing the doctor altogether until there is some sign that something is actually wrong. I'm also going to be careful about my diet and am already into a more vigorous exercise program. I guess I'm beginning to feel medically abandoned. Perhaps it is just the expectation of feeling so.

Layne and I are also talking about selling our country home. Make no mistake, I love it here. But it is expensive and takes lots of work to maintain. We are thinking that we should get into a cheaper situation, with less work involved. It makes me sad to think of it since we built this place to fit our dreams. As I walk through the rooms, I feel so happy with the way it fits us. On the other hand, we are adaptable beings. I know I can adjust happily, once it is required of me.

Our local family met at our house last Sunday. We celebrated February birthdays, had a Family Home Evening lesson, discussed family schedules and made family plans. I love our proximity to three of our five families. Our location seems just right. Lately I have felt a push to teach our grandchildren more keenly of family ties, gospel principles and patriotism. Perhaps there is a little spirit of agitation in me at the moment. Or something like that.

Layne promised to take me on weekly dates for my birthday. I keep dreaming up things for us to do and have come up with quite a list. This past Tuesday our date took us to Monterey to visit friends Howard and Sandra Burnham. We met them while performing in Nutcracker. Howard is a professional actor. They are both from England and have the delightful accents that go along with that heritage. On Tuesday Harold played Charles Dickins, in a one man show. We went to see his performance. We had a wonderful bond with them. Once in awhile you meet people that warm your heart. These two do that for us. I hope that we can spend more time with them.

Here's a scene from Sunol Regional Park, where I've begun
hiking with Audrey and the kids. I'm loving it.

Our February birthday boys, Vincent (in the hat)
and Timothy, who will be baptized soon.

Here is Reed, Dorothy and family. The two birthday boys are part of the group.
Dorothy went in for surgery yesterday to have her appendix removed. She's
pretty smiley here for a pre-op condition!

I'm grateful to have good people in my life. In spite of all the struggles, people make life happy. At least most of the time.

Taiwan and Chinese New Year

2012-02-05T10:17:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest pleasures in life has got to be eating. That being the case I can safely say that our eight or so days in Taiwan were all pleasure. We arrived there the day before the first day of Chinese New Year, as requested by Gerald and family. I can now safely state that the major activity of the New Year's week is eating! Each day of the week is devoted to celebrating with some branch of family. Our first day (Sunday) was spent with father's side. Next day was spent with Mother's side. Then it was cousins, aunts, uncles and so forth, filling each day of the week with celebration. We spent three hours of each day at a banquet. The best of the eats are served during these; 10-12 courses of them! I always began eating saying to myself that I would pace my eating to a moderate level. So I took just a little of almost everything. But after 12 or so dishes, a little here and there add up to a major fill. We ate with granddaughter Rayne, son Gerald, wife Frances and two babes and assorted other family each day to an absolutely stuffed condition. I've never eaten so much, so consistently. Each meal is accompanied by assorted toasts to the New Year. It was all so fun, and so filling!

I wouldn't want you to think that ALL we did was eat. Frances filled our remaining time with assorted other activities. We visited several temples and enjoyed seeing the masses of folk come to visit their assorted gods, burn incense and bring offerings. Many in Taiwan practice Taoism, most (Frances tells me) only occasionally. Chinese New Year is one of those times. There are gods for just about every interest; you pick the one that represents yours and offer incense and fruit. The temples are very colorful, which I like. We visited a giant Buddha on the same grounds as another Taoist temple. I thought it odd that two different faiths would share the same space. One of the workers at the Buddha statue said that they were open to whatever the people wanted; it was all good. It was fascinating to walk inside the big Buddha and see various statues and explanations of the belief structure of Buddhists. There are common elements in all faiths, it seems, lending credence to the idea that it all began as one faith. I believe that to be true, knowing that it is the tendency of people to change things, and, over time, the changes can be very great indeed.

This is an open market in Feng Yuan, where Gerald and Frances live in Taiwan.
Frances says that most people shop for food here. It is filled with fresh vegetables
and fish among other things. Assorted smells alone tell you where you are.

This is the interior of a Taoist temple in Feng Yuan. Foreground is a table with offerings for
the assorted gods in the temple, one of which rests in the distance behind the table.

Layne and I are posed on the grounds shared by a big Buddha and a
Taoist temple.

Near the big Buddha, Rayne stands in front of a lion, who stands guard over
the sacred grounds. Lions are common guards in front of temples here.

Here is the big Buddha, with family in the foreground: Rayne, Layne and Gerald
in the back, Angelica, cousin Anabell, and Seth.

Here are Seth, Gerald and Frances at one of our banquets.

One of the banquets was held at a relatives huge warehouse. His business is making and selling
motorcycles, some of which you can see in this view of his factory.

Just one of the many dishes served at our numerous banquets. This one was a part of every day's
servings. Shrimp were offered whole, leaving the eater with the task of removing the head, feet and shell.

Rayne, Seth and Angelica, after feasting at the motorcycle factory.

Angelica standing in front of a sacred (translation: old) tree, located on a mountain near
Feng Yuan. We drove a windy road to the top of the mountain, then walked a long way
to see it. After three hours of walking, we slept very well that night!

This trip gave us opportunities to spend some quality time with Gerald and his whole family. We loved that. We got to spend lots of time with Rayne also. She is teaching at Gerald and Frances' school and seems to be enjoying it. Grandchildren Seth and Angelica warmed up to us, which pleased me so much. Angelica especially seemed to seek me out. I loved it. We had wonderful visits with Frances and her family as well. They are a wonderful collection of quality people. All in all our time in Taiwan was our best yet.

We left for home last Monday, arriving that same day (since we flew over the date line). Wouldn't you know, we got First Class seats once again. Ah, the luxury of that! One of the nice things about First Class is that they feed you very well. As you may conclude from the above narrative that was something we really didn't need. But did that stop us? Well, no.

No matter the pleasure of the adventure, it is always good to be home. We have spent this past week in our usual routine, but our state has been decidedly soggier. I lack luster and energy, lusting after sleep. But we are returning to normal and not regretting this small sacrifice for the blessing of the trip.

Friends and Travels

2012-01-24T16:31:00.000-08:00

We've been planning and anticipating a visit from our Colorado friends Cliff and Elaine Conlon for several weeks. Layne investigated a variety of places to go and things to do. He is not much for doing things like that so I look forward to company that does. I'd like to go and do a bit more but happily settle for what my man prefers: staying home. When that is possible.

Elaine and Cliff arrived Monday of last week. We presented our array of possibilities to them. Guess what they most wanted to do? Stay home! So we did. Except for going to the movies and going out to dinner once, we hung out and bonded right at our house. Cliff and I almost share a birthday so we celebrated both. It was low key but very nice. Considering that this upcoming year will be my last to be a 60-something, perhaps I should have indulged myself a bit more!

Cliff and Elaine Conlon, eating breakfast a little too early for smiles.
We had lots of fun with them.

The brown hills of home. We've not had rain since a September sprinkle.
Finally rain was expected this past weekend...and it came!

Layne living the good life in First Class, on our way to Taipei, Taiwan.

Cliff and Elaine left on Thursday and we spent the day packing for a trip to Taiwan, to visit son Gerald and his family. Friday morning we took BART to the airport and were blessed to catch the only flight to Taiwan on United for the day, which took us to Narita, Japan (transferring to Taipei from there). When we've made this flight in the past we've always managed to get First Class seats. I was anticipating the sweetness of this tradition all morning as we waited for a seat assignment. We watched Business Class fill up, then First Class. Ohhhh. I was so disappointed! But we did get on the airplane. I must remind myself that getting on is the goal. It's interesting how easily we get used to the good life and begin to think of it as our right. I felt a bit ticked that we didn't get our usual luxury seats. But why should I think if that as my "right" when we are not paying our own way? I kept telling myself that getting on was a blessing. And it was. But I mourned my lost adventure in First Class as I sat in a middle seat in coach, sandwiched between Layne and a young man who would only eat kosher.

The good news is that we arrived in Nartia safely and early. More good news: the flight from Narita to Taipai was all luxury. We got First Class! So for three hours it was nothing but pure comfort and delicious food. Gerald and granddaughter Rayne were there to meet us and all has gone well ever since. Except I can't seem to get enough sleep!

Crowded Times

2012-01-16T17:09:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken in September, at Mongolian
daughter Brynn's wedding. She just sent it to us.
I think it is better than most.

Sunday birthday celebration for granddaughter Abigail, who turned 3.

Another January birthday; grandson Bruce tuned 1.

Two of our boys; Ben on the left, Reed on the right.

January is usually a nice, quiet time that is perfect for Holiday recovery. But this January is turning out to be very busy indeed. After our shift at the temple on Wednesday we were notified that my friend Rosemary Howard died. I have mentioned her in an earlier blog but, to refresh, I have known Rosemary since moving to Fremont some 40 years ago. She is about my age and the mother of 8 children. When she was 55 she was in an automobile accident that resulted in a head injury. After that incident she slid into an Alzheimer's type condition. She quickly lost her mental capacity and shrank down to a fetal position, unable to do anything on her own. Her husband, Zip, cared for her for the next 11 years, until this week. Some of the children helped, but basically Zip was the one who was there for her every day. He has been very devoted and anxious not to lose her, even in her extreme condition. Perhaps that is why she lasted for such a long time.

Her daughter asked me to help dress the body. I dreaded it, but met her at the mortuary on Thursday morning. I did not want to see her fragile little body again, but it tuned out to be a sweet experience. I can't quite put into words why it is. I found it true when I helped dress our granddaughter Carmen and when I helped dress Mother. Were those recently departed ones there with us? I don't know. But something sweet happens with this tender service of dressing.

I was also asked to speak at the funeral on Friday. Boy did I sweat that out. Rosemary's husband and 7 of her eight children are not active in the Church as Rosemary was. They were in deep mourning. What could I say? I worked, prayed and worried. By Thursday night I had a talk put together. After I went to bed more ideas came to mind. I got up and wrote them down. When I awoke, more came to me. I integrated it all and headed for the funeral. I believe it turned out well. It seemed to. I hope Rosemary was pleased. I hope it comforted the family. I felt a warm, sweet spirit as I presented it. But I was sooooo glad when it was over!

Friday afternoon we headed out for a get-away in Sonoma. If you know Layne at all you know that he is not keen on such things. He'd much rather stay at home with familiar habits and sights. Just about any adventure I suggest to him is met by the same response. "Let's just stay home." But this time there was a little outside pressure. My high school buddy, Lyn Hooker, and her husband asked us to go. We committed to it in November. I bribed Layne by telling him that I would pay for the weekend out of my inheritance money so he should just relax and have fun. So, off we headed, right after the funeral.

We arrived at a very nice, vintage hotel (Fairmont Sonoma) about 2:00. Lyn and Jimmy arrived shortly afterwards. We went to lunch and then settled in our hotel rooms. We came to this particular place because Lyn, a lover of food and cooking, wanted to eat at the French Laundry, a very famous restaurant. When she discovered that the cost was $265 a plate, she shrank and settled instead for another restaurant run by the same famous chef that cooked at the French Laundry. Our dinner reservation was late so Lyn and I had facials at the hotel. Wow. For a mere $175 we experienced an hour of luxurious massage and all sorts of facial potions and rubbings. I have to say that I loved every minute of it. But the tight-wad in me will not do it again any time soon.

Lyn had no idea how to get to the restaurant in Yonksville. It was supposed to be near our hotel. But it turned out to be some 30 miles away. No problem I assured them. My iphone would show us the way. Trouble was, I'd never actually used that iphone function. So things got a bit mixed up on the way. Ok, we got lost. We finally made it though, and entered a small and very noisy restaurant, late but still able to get our reserved (two months ahead) table. The famous food was good. I'm no gourmet so I must admit that I wouldn't travel there again just for the food. It was lovely but so are a lot of other places. Still, it was an adventure. Layne and I had a lovely bond. There was something about being away with nothing to worry about that opens a person up. I felt almost giddy with happiness at being away on this outing. I think Layne enjoyed it in spite of himself. We had a wonderful time.

The near-by kids came over yesterday to celebrate our January birthdays (there are 5 of them, including mine!). It was a fun time. Ben and Jes are all moved out of their rental and in an extended stay. Did I mention that the owner of their home sold it and asked if they would be willing to break their lease and move out by January 16th? She sweetened the deal considerably by offering to pay them $50,000 if they would do it. Is there any question that they would? Ben seems to fall into deals. There must be something in his persona that makes things like this happen. It looks like they have found another place that will open up the middle of next month. So we will all chip in and help them move yet again. Wow what chaos. But rich chaos!

Dampness in Seattle

2012-01-08T11:58:00.000-08:00

Now that Mom has left us, there is an opportunity for travel. I don't have a passion for travel per se, but I do desire to connect with the people I love. Our first trip of the year came up this past week as Layne and I found our way to Seattle, to see daughter Jessica and her family. When we fly, it is always stand-by on United. I'm still mad at our airline for all the mistreatment of their employees and retirees, but enjoy our remaining perk of free travel, albeit on standby. Butterflies live in my stomach with each effort at air travel, as we never really know if we are going or not. Thursday morning included plenty of apprehension as all flights for the day to Seattle were oversold, except the 7 AM flight, which had ONE seat. We got up at 3:30 AM to try for that flight. Seems a bit early, doesn't it? But taking BART to the airport involves an hour and a half travel time, and we arrived an hour early. It makes for a long day and we were so hoping that our sacrifice of sleep would pay off.

As is often the case with early flights, there were lots of no-shows. That opened things up for us. Not only did we get seats, but so did all the other stand-bys. Blessed again. With this set-up I always measure our success in flying with the Lord's blessing. Somehow we were meant to visit at this particular time. This approach in my thinking helps me to make the most of things.

We had in-depth visits with both Jessica and her husband, Chris. I felt that we understood their hearts during this visit. Exchanges with the kids were more abbreviated. This trip seemed to be for Chris and Jes. Layne spent lots of time in Jessica's bookstore, as he is her book keeper. It's a charming little used bookstore. Jessica knows how to decorate and Chris knows how to provide the infrastructure needed. The store has been open for a year and a half now. They are giving it two years to turn a profit. What is the future for books? They will not go away entirely, but we all wonder how many will be displaced by technology. What is the future for bookstores like theirs? Jessica loves everything about books; their touch, smell, readability. She glows in their midst and loves being surrounded by them. That's a perfect fit for a bookstore. Now if it can just become profitable.

Seattle provided its usual winter fare: clouds, rain and mist. In spite of it, we walked to the bookstore and back, taking an hour on the way there. Wow. I could really feel my "out-of-shapeness". My shins are sore from the effort. The mist wrecked my fluff "do" as well but I convinced myself that I didn't care about such vain concerns. During the walk anyhow. For some reason I have a thing about hair. I want it to be just right all the time. How silly is that? Silly indeed yet hard to let go of.

While we were there we went to a movie with Chris and Jes that I can recommend. It was called, "The Artist". Apparently it is a limited release, but so different and so good, with a positive message. All in all we enjoyed our time in Seattle. Our trip home was easy; there were lots of open seats on our flight. So many in fact that we flew First Class! That rarely happens on domestic flights these days. We felt indulged and blessed. The remainder of this month promises to be full of activity and yet another trip, as we prepare to visit our kids in Taiwan. More on that as it unfolds.

Chris and Jessica's kids are below:

This is Miles, 10 this month, relaxing in the family room.

Gemma is the oldest at 11.

Here is Peyton, 7, in the middle of some chatter.

New Year's Eve

2012-01-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Abigail doing her own thing

Isn't it interesting that life's experiences are almost never balanced. There is either tons of something or a scarcity of it. One has to look at the big picture to see any kind of balance. Or so it seems to me. Most of our days are pretty quiet now. I've come to enjoy that. But the holidays bring tons of people into my life and space. I love that too even if it requires lots of effort to support.

New Year's Eve brought the local family once again to our house. Layne rented an inflatable jumping thing for the kids again. We filled the house with games and food. It was wild and fun. We replayed the nativity play of Christmas Eve and held our yearly talent night. The pictures here show every grandchild displaying some kind of talent, except for the two babies. I can't help feeling pleased in seeing each child willing and able to share something with the rest of us. That's pretty impressive. All them appear here, showing off their stuff.

Zachary

So ends another year. As I think of it, my usual New Year's Resolutions could be repeated yet again in 2012. I seem to make little progress with them. So, this year I'm trying something different. I'm only going to make one resolution: get in shape! Maybe if I just concentrate on one thing I can accomplish it. Change is so hard. For this one resolution I have done the following:
1. Taken my weight and measurements (hoping both will go down!);
2. Set aside the time I want to spend on exercise;
3. Gone through my exercise tapes and arranged to use each one on a different day of the week;
4. Set out my weights so they are easy to access, and committed to using them
2-3 times a week;
5. Set out a work-out outfit;
6. Told several people how committed I am.

William

Timmy doing sit-ups

So here's hoping that all this effort will pay off. Happy New Year.

Jacqueline on violin; Alexis
on piano

Isaiah

Vincent

Scott

Allegra sharing her new business
venture as a knitter of toys;
She has made over $100 so far
(She also plays the piano)

James

Christmas

2011-12-29T16:29:00.000-08:00

Daughter-in-law Dorothy asked me to babysit last week, on Monday. Baby Bruce had the flu and she wanted to take him to the doctor's. I spent that day and the following in Brentwood, taking care of kids and generally trying to help out. All of the kids were taking turns with the 12 hour flu so I was exposed on many fronts. By Thursday I had it. I pride myself at resisting stuff like that so I was a bit disappointed at my body for not doing so this time. After all, it's Christmas and there is much to be celebrated. But succumb I did, so last week was pretty lost.

Fortunately I felt mostly ready for Christmas. Gifts were all wrapped and I was fairly well prepared for Christmas Eve, when everyone would gather for our annual celebration of the birth of the Savior. I put lots of preparation, hope and prayer into this special night. It is dedicated to the spiritual side of Christmas. I always envision a perfect family re-enactment of the Savior's birth, done by spiritually minded grandkids who really get into the story and take it seriously. I suppose it is pretty obvious that I set myself up for disappointment. This year I did several things to lessen it: I gave out nativity story parts to the kids early so they could read up and practice their parts; I picked out, organized and labeled the costumes so they could find them and put them on easily; I cleared out a bigger space for the re-enactment; I made a little book of the nativity story with the kids as characters in case the whole thing turned to worms. At least there would be something in writing as a back-up.

Granddaughter Jacqueline is narrating our Christmas Nativity Story.
A picture of Christ creating the world is on the TV screen.

Allegra and Scott are Joseph and Mary

Here are the grandkids at the end of our Christmas Eve, dressed in
their new Christmas pajamas.

So, here is the report: only some of the kids actually prepared their parts BUT it went pretty well! The kids played their parts, we took lots of pictures and video and generally enjoyed the outcome. So all that work was worth it. We followed up with a candle ceremony, where each person receives a candle, shares a positive thought and places their lighted candle on a center table. By the end there is a lovely collection of light which we liken to the light our family can share with the world. It is a lovely thought which I hope the children catch. So, in summary, I felt fairly good about our celebration.

Christmas day was crazy fun yet I felt a bit of melancholy. I often cannot figure myself out. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with feelings that I can't explain to myself. Perhaps my bits of sadness came because I didn't feel my best (flu hangover) or perhaps I was missing my mom. Or perhaps a bit of both. Or maybe there is a bit of something else that I haven't figured out yet.

This week I experienced a bit more of sickness. Disgusting but true. I seem to be on the mend today. Feeling crummy has kept us from meeting up with son Ben and family at their rented cabin in the snow. I'm sad to miss it. But I've got to get a grip; this Saturday is New Year's Eve and the whole family will gather once again for a marathon night of food, games and conversation. I wouldn't want to miss that.

At this closing of 2011 I feel grateful for the peace and plenty that still are a part of our lives here on this wonderful little hill in California. In spite of struggles and losses, life is so very good.

Cracking Nuts

2011-12-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

I think there are probably hundreds of little miracles that happen in our lives that we don't notice. Monday a small miracle happened to me that I didn't miss. On Monday Layne and I went our separate ways on separate errands. Mine ended at the local gas station where I filled our Jeep gas tank. In the process of that I managed to lock myself out of the car. Keys were inside. Also purse. I tried every door with no luck. Feeling quite foolish, I entered the gas station store and asked one of the workers if he could unlock my car. He gave it a once over and said the only way was to break a window. "What car insurance do you have," he said. "Maybe they provide towing service." "Hum," I replied. "I'm not sure if we have Farmers or State Farm." "You don't know who insures your car?" he asked me, thinking I was a total moron. That's kinda how I felt too. All the car insurance information was right there in the glove compartment. Locked up. Out of my reach. But I did figure out that we have Farmers and was just talking to their help line making arrangements for rescue when I happened to look outside where the jeep was taking up a pumping space and saw what looked like our other car. I walked outside and moved a little closer. To my amazement there was Layne, just finishing filling up our Envoy! There he was, without knowing I was there and in great need of help. He was delivered to me in some special, magical way. I was saved. And I was grateful that somehow he was led to that gas station at that time. It was a tender mercy indeed.

Here we are just before our last performance of Nutcracker.
Layne has lots of eye make-up on so he looks a little funny.

Layne, daughter-in-law Jessica and son Ben at our Bethlehem
Dinner. Note the use of fingers instead of forks. Gotta be authentic!

Ben and Jessica's youngest, Jonathan.

We have been practicing for our part in a Nutcracker production for some weeks now. Layne refers to our rehearsals as, "cracking nuts". I kinda like it. Anyhow all that practicing ended this weekend with our final performances on Temple Hill, in Oakland. Layne had a solo part again this year during the Grandfather's Dance. His part was a little more extensive this year, which made him a bit more nervous. But he did a great job. The whole show was amazingly good. I believe I have explained before that our friend Rachel Tan is responsible for this amazing effort to bring the Nutcracker to Temple Hill for free. She and her husband have spent lots of time and money making it happen. Rachel has three dance studios and it is her students who present the entire show. Professional props, beautiful costumes and well rehearsed dancers make for a show that rivals any that you might pay money to see. Both nights were packed. Rachel's daughter played the starring role this year and did a lovely job. I found it quite wonderful that this gift the Tans have offered to so many people is also providing their daughter with an unforgettable experience. It's a joy to be a part of it.

Tonight our kids downstairs, Cliff and Audrey, had their annual Bethlehem dinner. Our local family gathers for it and dons shepherds head pieces before being served with Bethlehemish food, which must be eaten with our fingers. It's a fun experience.

So, after a weekend filled with activities, we are looking forward to a slower pace this coming week. I think we are almost ready for Christmas.

Celebrations of All Sorts

2011-12-11T16:11:00.000-08:00

Our neighbor, Tony, is a high energy guy, full of ideas. He has done some nice things for us since we've been here. So when Tony came to Layne with a Christmas idea, Layne wouldn't do anything to discourage him. Tony wanted to place a large, lighted star somewhere on our hill. Layne agreed that it would be a great idea. So Tony bought all the materials needed and asked Layne to build it. Normally Layne would attempt to get out of yet another project. But this was Tony. So he took on the task and now the star rests atop a pole in the field in front of our house. I love it! It can be seen from the highway near our road and, hopefully, adds a little sparkle to those who notice it. All in our little valley can see it as they drive down our road. A star is a little thing but we are celebrating it. This never would have happened without Tony!

Our daughter Audrey had her gall bladder surgery last Monday. She came home Tuesday. The surgery was routine, as we hoped it would be. Signs are good for a full recovery very soon. It's wonderful to live at a time when so many discomforts and physical problems can be solved relatively easily. She is out of pain and loving it. This is a little bigger thing to celebrate.

Our star at night

Our Christmasy front door

While she was struggling with her gall bladder she asked me to teach her seminary class. I found it surprisingly pleasurable. Not that her students were ready and open but that reviewing the material was joyful, as I once again pieced together gospel history that I take great pleasure in knowing. My first day with her students was the "honeymoon" day, when they are too interested in a new personality to cause much challenge. The second day however, the honeymoon was over. Still, they responded to some of the ideas presented. Sometimes I weary of trying to teach teenagers. They must be "won" before they are willing to open themselves to you. They can be great or difficult, depending upon the situation and the day.

Our son Reed has been out of a job since November. He's been through several series of interviews and just finished another series last week. We've been praying for a job offer for weeks. We are celebrating once again, as, HE GOT A JOB! He'll begin working for Bank of the West this next week. What a sweet relief as he has a big family to support. As soon and the deal was sealed, he and Dorothy went shopping!

I sometimes think we, as a culture, have become too accustomed to being entertained rather than taking responsibility for our own experiences and fun. So when I was asked to work with two other ladies to come up with entertainment for our ward social, I suggested that we have everyone participate in some way. We dreamed up a nativity scenario that included all in attendance and it seemed to work well. There was a happy lingering after the party was over. One of my theories about that is that, if there is a good spirit present, people are not in a hurry to leave it. I think that happened last night at our ward social. It made me happy to see it.

Layne gives his fifth blessing tonight!

A Stumble in the Dark

2011-12-04T21:53:00.000-08:00

Some of the biggest changes in life come to us in an instant. My mother's stroke was one of those things. She went from a vital, active woman to a very dependent one in an instant. I had one of those moments this past week, with, hopefully, just temporary results. I was walking downstairs early Wednesday morning, in the dark, and missed the last stair. Before I had time to think or react I was flat on the floor, a bit dazed and twisted. I was on the way to the garage where Layne was waiting for me, perhaps a bit impatiently. He had no idea of my fate until I finally was able to get up and limp my way to the car. We were preparing to leave for our early temple assignment. Layne was very sympathetic once he saw my problem. I limped my way through our morning temple assignment and early afternoon Costco stop. As it turned out, I sprained my ankle, and bruised up various other body parts. I babied the ankle as well as I could but spent the next few days wanting to do nothing except sit and sleep. I seemed to be drained of all ambition and energy.

It is at times like these when planning ahead really pays off. I have most of my Christmas obligations done, so those few days of idling gave me no stress. What a happy thing that turned out to be. Last year at this time I was a bundle of stress over things I wanted to get done for Christmas. For me, planning ahead for things like Christmas can backfire. It happens to me because, having accomplished my early goals, time opens up for thinking up new ones. Then they become a whole new pressure as I attempt to accomplish them as well. This year I'm holding myself back. I've accomplished the goals I set and I'm determined to set no more.

By Saturday I was a new woman. Energy returned and I began to feel a bit more normal. My ankle is still double its normal size but it is much less painful and moving much better. So I guess I'll recover. But experiences like these call to my mind how grateful I should be for times when my body is all in relatively good working order. I've been reading a book on physical fitness for old ladies and it has encouraged a more vigorous exercise routine. I'm considering that. I can see that it takes more effort than I'm used to
to keep an older body in working order. This week's experience is a great reminder that it's very nice when all the parts are working properly.

Today our daughter Audrey awoke with pain. She has been having these pains on and off for awhile but lately it has been mostly on. So her hub, Cliff, took her to Emergency where they confirmed what we already thought; she has gall stones and an enflamed gall bladder. So she goes in for surgery tomorrow sometime to have the pesky part removed.

Here's Jonathan after his blessing. Note his outfit; shirt, tie and vest.
He makes a pretty cute package, don't you think?

While she was on this hospital adventure the rest of the family headed for Palo Alto to see our newest grandson blessed. Jonathan Galbraith was blessed by his dad, our son Ben, with an assist from son Reed and Layne. We enjoyed lunch and a bit of bonding at Ben and Jessica's afterwards. It was a lovely time even though shortened by the desire to visit Audrey before it was too late. She is looking forward to the surgery and no more pain. It is a routine procedure so there shouldn't be any problems. I believe we are all feeling comfortable with it.

It has been a full but rewarding day as we returned from the hospital to our Christmas-laden house. Now I must teach seminary for Audrey the next two mornings. I can't say that I'm excited about that.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T19:44:00.000-08:00

On odd years our extended family comes to our house for Thanksgiving. That made this year our year. Isn't it interesting that thinking and planning for things takes so much longer than the actual thing? I put more than my usual thought into our feasting day. We rearranged the house to accomodate 24 people, put out games for family bonding ahead of the meal, then set the tables with china (instead of our usual choice for mobs--paper) and even used name cards to get folks properly mixed. Layne prepared a Thanksgiving message. Everyone contributed to the feast. I think it was the best celebration we have had so far.

I've been working on gratitude lately. I've decided to make it a priority to notice all the details of my life that I should be grateful for. It is amazing to me that I live in peace and comfort at the cost of so many who have come before me who created this wonderful condition for us in the midst of having none of it for themselves. They worked and fought on faith that it could happen. I want never to forget that I am not responsible for my comfortable situation and need to extend my never-ending gratitude for being on the receiving end of things. I found a scripture in Isaiah that seems to me to sum up this idea:

For the Lord shall comfort Zion.
He will comfort all her waste places
and He will make her wilderness
like Eden and her desert like the garden
of the Lord. Joy and gladness shall be
found therein, thanksgiving and the voice
of melody. (Isaiah 51:3)

I feel like our little piece of Zion is filled with joy and gladness and the voice of melody. Well, the inside of our Zion anyhow. I'm still hoping for the outside (our "wilderness") to become a garden of the Lord. But perhaps I should feel grateful for the weeds and mud also. At least they are our weeds and mud. At least there is enough rain to make some mud. There is always a positive side of things, it seems.

Here's our Thanksgiving feast

Here are our three babies: Jonathan is with Audrey on the left (and feeling much better);
Jeremiah (in the middle, in green) is Reed and Dorothy's foster
baby; Bruce sits on his mom Dorothy's lap but wants to get down;
James (son of Reed and Dorothy) is leaning in at the right.

Here is our granddaughter, Rayne (Audrey and Cliff's oldest)
and Scott (Reed and Dorothy's oldest) just after Thanksgiving dinner.

Brother Bonding: Reed and Ben (in back) are playing
Scrabble on Ben's ipads.

Last night, while I was preparing dinner, I watched a sweet, clean Hallmark Christmas movie. It was strictly formula; easy to see the happy ending it was headed for. But I've decided I like happy endings best. In spite of all the struggles of life, I believe in happy endings. I think of Mom every day and picture her in her happy ending. I believe she is at peace and enjoying her experience outside of this mortality. As I get older I feel ever more keenly the shortness of life. I now see my life in finite terms. I see that the end of my turn on earth is not very far away. I guess I could say that my biological clock is ticking and I don't want to miss doing what I came here to do.

Shopping Mania

2011-11-20T17:26:00.000-08:00

My granddaughter, Allegra, asked me to take her shopping on Friday. She has a passion for yarn so I agreed to take her to her favorite yarn store. I seduced her into making a couple of stops along the way. We visited a craft store and she went nuts with delight. So did I. I'm determined once again to get all my Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving. This magical store enabled me to cross a few grandchildren off my list. Buying meaningful things for 21 grandchildren can be formidable. I've been working on it for weeks. But now I'm a woman in control. I managed several additional stops before Allegra began to wonder if we were ever going to make it to the yarn store. We did. She showed me the yarns she has been salivating over. One was $35 for one skein! Wow, who knew knitting could cost so much. We didn't buy that one.

What fun to feel so good about getting so much stuff. I even found a couple of things for Layne, who repeatedly tells me, "don't get me anything for Christmas; I don't need anything" I find that sentiment simply unacceptable; Christmas is for giving after all. So I'm going to give some things to him whether he wants me to or not. I'm hoping that he'll warm to my choices and be glad of a few new items. I've noticed that he DOES need a few things after all.

Rayne, my oldest granddaughter, works at Norstrom's department store. Once a year Norstroms has a 30% off sale for employees. She invited me to go to Norstrom's Rack, their out-of-season discount store, on that special discount day, where we could use her 30% off on already discounted clothes. That day arrived on Saturday. Audrey, Rayne, Allegra and I arrived at the store at 7:30 AM and shopped there for a couple of hours. What fun! At that early hour there weren't very many employee shoppers so we had a ball going through all those clothes. We all found a pile of treasures, and bought them all. It's hard to resist a bargain. I can't remember buying so many new things at once. It was quite exciting. I would say that I felt guilty spending so much money on clothes, but I don't. That's because I used a little of my inheritance money! What a blessing it is to have that little stash to use when the need arises. I'm so grateful.

Later on Saturday we drove to Brentwood to see our grandson Scott perform in his marching band. They were in a Christmas parade. There was a great turn-out. Brentwood is a friendly, supportive town. It was fun to spend a bit of time with son Reed and Dorothy. They are a noble-hearted couple. Plus they took us out to dinner. Mexican. That's pretty noble.

Here's Scotty in his marching band. He's right behind the
guy in the black T-shirt (that doesn't belong there!)

Here's grandson Bruce (Reed and Dorothy's youngest).
He's doing his favorite thing, eating.

I've been thinking of my mom a lot lately. Every time I wear her clothes I feel a little tinge of guilt; it is as if she would mind me borrowing them. I keep finding little corners in the house where I have stashed things to use for her. Sometimes it feels as if she will return and fill her space in my life. I miss her. I wonder how she feels about what I have done with her things and how I have spent some of the money I inherited from her. My rational mind tells me she hasn't a care for any of that anymore. But I keep running into my feelings that, somehow, she still does. It's silly. I just don't want to disappoint her in any way. I know she is happy and busy now, yet part of me wonders, is she? Is she with Daddy? Has she spoken to her little brother, Larry; the one whose death she mourned for so many years? Has she met all the relatives she spoke so often about? I feel that she has. Still, I'd like to know.

Odds and Ends

2011-11-13T20:31:00.000-08:00

Our son Benjamin has done an excellent job of feeding my fascination with "techy" stuff. I am now enjoying his old Apple laptop and an iphone. I love them both even though I am far from using them to full capacity. Lately I've been experimenting with using my iphone to play my dance music collection, stored in itunes. Each Monday I plug in the dance music while I do my housework. Wow, what fun. I dance and sing my way through the chores. I get them done twice as fast and get some good exercise doing it as I can't resist stopping to dance along my working way. I believe it has lifted my spirits as I have been feeling exceptionally happy for the last couple of weeks.

I've also designed an organizational system for myself, to help me get things done a bit more efficiently. I admire organization, but usually from afar. I have dozens of projects in my mind and begin many of them. But I finish very few. Why? Well, partly because I always leave those fun things for last and last never comes. But now I have a plan for actually doing them! Using this new system I have finished one of my projects. I've made a Christmas book for the grandkids. It tells the story of the birth of Christ using pictures of the grandchildren as biblical characters. It's kinda cute. I plan on giving them to the family for Christmas this year. I can't quite put into words the joy that comes to me when I actually finish something.

Here is the cover for the Christmas book. Our oldest
grandchildren, Rayne and Chase are pictured here.

Layne and I are in the thick of Nutcracker rehearsals. We are the old folks again. This year the woman in charge of our scene, "Miss Maria" is a beautiful young ballerina with big expectations. Basic dance steps are not enough; we must move at just the right angle and our hands need to be in just the right position with each movement. Maria has big ideas for Layne's solo part too. He's not impressed. But he's doing it. He makes every effort to do just as she asks at rehearsals, but when we get home he isn't nearly so enthusiastic. "This is the last year I'm doing this," he has said to me several times over the past couple of weeks. We'll see if he softens over this next year. This may indeed be our last experience with Nutcracker.

An 11 Day

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

Here's Rayne during a brief break on our hiking trail.

I simply have to say something on this 11/11/11 day! So I am choosing to celebrate the life that we enjoy here in this promised land. This morning I hiked a nearby trail with daughter Audrey and granddaughter Rayne. It was exhilarating and beautiful. Nature nurtures like nothing else. I believe that the Spirit of God is in his living things. We were surrounded by them this morning. There is no better way to start a day full of 11s than this.

A Possible Yard

2011-11-09T15:31:00.000-08:00

We have been here in our new home for 4 1/2 years now. I love it and feel very grateful to have it. The only scar on my contentment is our yard. That condition is my current "bug." It seems to have fallen on me to determine how to design and plant it. That's the problem. I've come up with various ideas, carefully drawn up and then, rejected. I know for sure that this is not my gift. So I flounder. My eyes take in the lovely horizon to horizon view from here, and the beautiful hillsides, now filling with green from the recent rains. All is candy to the eyes, except when they fall upon the outside space that is actually ours. I have reached the end of my patience with it. Yet we don't currently have the funds to buy an expert to help us resolve it.

But here is where our serendipity comes in. Recently a friend referred a young man to us that needs a place to stay for a time. He simply needed a spot to park his RV while he tries out a new job here in this area. If it works out he will move his family here and get a home. In the meantime, he will be here with us. Guess what he does for a living? He's a landscaper! What a magical thing! I told him with a smile that his rent would be his help planning our yard. He happily agreed. So I'm very hopeful that, before long, we will actually have some plans for our very needy yard. It's a challenge, you see, as we have poor soil, wind, and poor water. Not a good combination. But Beecher, our landscape friend, seems unmoved by the problems. I'm excited to see what ideas he comes up with.

In spite of my complaints about the yard, I am going through a spurt of exceptionally pleasant times. Perhaps it is the time of year. I love the rain, and the holiday season. Or perhaps it is my new approach to housework. I have a collection of dance music that is now accessible on my iphone. So I plug it into my ear during my cleaning sprees and dance my way through the work. It has proven itself to be a glorious way to move me through my working routine. I move with more energy and the music fills me with positive enthusiasm. Dancing just does wonderful things for me. (I wish it did for Layne!)

For the first time ever we spotted this large two point
buck in our yard!

Here's Audrey trying to calm our youngest grandson
Jonathan. He's having tummy trouble these days.

At our extended FHE I caught Cliff tossing a napkin over
grandson Bruce's head. Bruce didn't mind a bit.

With the word getting around about Layne being a patriarch, there seems to be a growing number of requests for him to speak to youth about blessings. This past weekend, I spoke with him on just that subject. It was a lot of fun. I've discovered that, if I am excited by my subject, speaking is fun. One- shot exposure is lots easier than weekly ones; as in my sunday school class. My usual students listened to me with interest when I spoke on blessings, but have quite a bit of trouble doing so for my usual sunday school lessons. Hum. What's the deal with that?

Our Halloween was a non-event this year. Layne and I cuddled together on spook night and watched a decidedly unspooky movie, North and South. It is a romantic English movie with a theme not unlike Pride and Prejudice (my absolute favorite love story). I liked it lots better than trick or treating. Sunday our local gang came over for extended Family Home Evening. That was lots of fun. I am going through a particular enjoyment of people phase right now. I like it.

Seattle

2011-10-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

Layne has been feeling better and better this week. Whatever made him sick last week really took it out of him. Today is his third blessing (I know I'll stop counting at some point, but not today) and he is feeling a little dizzy. I think it is because he is fasting for the blessing. But he will not compromise himself by taking a drink. He has a steel will about those things. His philosophy is that his body is not in control; HE is. I admire that. It usually works well for him. Here's hoping he will make it through the blessing without swooning.

We left our temple shift early on Wednesday to catch a flight to Seattle. For the first time ever on the flight to Seattle there was tons of room; so much so that even we standbys had not a worry of getting on. Our visit with Chris and Jes was great. She has just about the neatest used book store I've ever seen. I promise that this is not a biased view point; the girl has a knack for making things look inviting. Her little shop appears to be gaining a following, which is a very good thing. She is no longer in the red. But, as she says, she could not make a living at running it. Profitable or not, she seems to love it. She has a serious thing for books. Perhaps I have a little of that as well. I managed to find 6 books that I could not resist buying.

It is good to feel good about family. Chris and Jes both have good hearts and a desire to do what is right. Their three children appear to be doing fine. I'm looking forward to visiting more often and getting a better read on these cute blond grandkids. Jes and I spent an hour or so in their hot tub. Wow. I want one of those. Not only do they warm you up on the outside, but somehow promote communication that warms up the inside. It's cold in Seattle. But after our hour in the tub all was warm and cozy.

Here's a crazy picture of Chris and Jessica's three children:
Peyton, Gemma and Miles, posing for me.

We are home again, blessed once again with a flight to San Francisco empty enough to fit us comfortably within. What an amazing time of year for standbys to travel. I'm glad to live at a time when it is all so easy. And now, let the holidays begin!

Our Newest Grandsons

2011-10-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

Jonathan, born in September, with Allegra

Bruce, born in January, with Layne

Home

2011-10-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

These past two weeks have provided me with 14 days at home with no distractions. What a gift of time! I can't help feeling a bit heady about it. I'm making all sorts of plans for getting projects on their way to being done. My mind is exploding with ideas. The trouble is, I get started on one idea and then get another, and so it goes. When I actually finish something it is a joy. So I'm hoping that I can do more of it.

Layne gave his second blessing a week ago. This time he began praying about the person way ahead of time and got lots of inspiration during the preceding week. What a help it was. I think he is beginning to get the Patriarch thing into a more comfortable place. He spent lots of time rigging up a contraption to hold the recording microphone in just the right place when he gives blessings. I'm amazed at how he can maneuver things to serve his needs. In this case he took a desk lamp with a moveable arm, cut off the light, adapted a part from something else that would hold his microphone and put it all together in just the right way. The moveable arm can place the microphone just where he wants it, leaving his hands free. He has such a knack! I love that about him. Perhaps all those boxes of extra parts from various things he has saved are worth the space they take. It seems so!

Sometimes, among all the friends one collects over a lifetime, a few emerge that become "kindred spirits". These friends have a direct road into my thoughts and my feelings. They do because their roads are so very much like mine. I have several friends like that. One of them is Trudy Ostler. She and her husband have been on a mission in Fiji for three years. So I was excited when she said they were coming here for a visit. Their plan was to come this past Friday. As serendipity would have it, another of my kindred spirits called and visited on that same day. Jody Jensen and her husband Jerry had lunch with us. Bill and Trudy Ostler came for dinner and an overnight. What a feast of intimacy that day became! It has been sad for me to see all of those special friends come in and then out of my life, as they move away and settle in other, far away, places. But on Friday, my plate was full.

Layne took me on a date last week. It is worth a blog mention because it rarely happens. We have become quite the stay-at-homers. But BYU's Ballroom Dance Team came to town last weekend. I talked Layne into taking me. He will usually bend to my dancing wishes as he knows it is such a passion for me. He's great that way. So we went. We were both dazzled by their performance! Even my non-dancing Layne loved it. It just goes to show that there are a number of things well worth coming out of the house for. But first we have to get out the front door. That seems to be the hardest part of all.

Jody and me

Our front view early in the morning

Speaking of Layne, he got sick today. This is also worth mentioning because it rarely happens. But it seemed to have passed quickly. He is now sleeping peacefully with high hopes of feeling pretty normal by tomorrow. There is nothing like feeling miserable to remind us of how great it is to feel good. I'm grateful that good is how we feel almost all of the time.

Layne's First Blessing

2011-10-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

Layne ready to give a Blessing

Busy-ness does not lend itself to meditation. This has been another week crammed with activity, including some more time with Ben and Jes. I enjoy that. In fact, I enjoy all the rush of things. That is my trouble. I fill my time with all sorts of things that must be done, but that I also like doing. Time rushes by and I worry sometimes that I'm missing time to make sense of it all and use it better.

We have had a major rain storm already! Cloudy skies are my favorite kind of sky. The ground is now soft and workable. I've been spending time digging in it, trying to get our front yard presentable. What fun it is to play in the dirt.

We have been asked to perform in Nutcracker, on Temple Hill, again this year. Practice has begun, with a new director. She is a no-nonsense kind of girl with big ideas about how we should appear on stage. More grace in movement and heads up at all times for best stage projection. Hum. Layne's part has also expanded a bit. He is the grandpa, if you remember, who has a dance centered around him and a small solo part where he dances and hurts his back. I can't help giggling to myself when I think how we wandered into this experience. This man of man who doesn't like performing, or dancing is doing it...again!

And speaking of this man, Layne gave his first Patriarchal Blessing today. He was one stressed guy, but it worked out just fine. He did a great job and the young woman he blessed loved it. So it all worked out. He is greatly relieved and will be much calmer for the next blessing. At least I think he will. We will soon find out as he is scheduled to give another one next Sunday.

Conference Weekend

2011-10-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

Layne watching Conference with Jonathan

Food and paper work keep Jacqueline and Tim entertained,
at least some of the time.

There are times when I have to think to remember what day it is. Lots of activity does that kind of thing to me. I spent some time with Ben and Jes, as planned, early this week. This time I had more clothes and a better plan. lt was fun spending time there and figuring out how to organize things in a pleasing way for the kids. Somehow organizing appeals to me. It has taken me some time to figure out how to do it but I'm making progress. I find, though, that the busy household at Ben and Jessica's takes some getting used to. My own household was once busy but I'm used to quiet times now. I guess that is the old lady in me.

So it was sweet to return to my fairly quiet husband and home. Finally, after a couple of weeks, we harvested the garden. Layne has figured out how to grow vegetables here, at last. So our garden is really putting out this year. So tempting a place is it that the local deer have figured out how to slip their way under the garden fence! But Layne is philosophical. The garden is big enough for them and us now. So we'll share. Our garden haul was big. I spent two days bottling and drying its bounty. Standing on my feet all day is an exhausting activity. I guess I'd be happy to not have such a garden haul, for a little while anyhow.

Church General Conference was this weekend. We loved doing activities that put us in front of the TV for each and every session. I found it very inspiring. Sunday found all the local kids sharing it all with us. I tried to provide Conference activities and goodies to keep the little ones busy. It worked some of the time. I know it sounds crazy, but after conference I dressed the kids in nativity clothes for Christmas photos. I'm planning ahead you see. I have plans for the photos, come Christmas. I'm determined to be ready this year and enjoy the season without stress. What do you think; is it possible?

Daughter-in-law Dorothy and Bruce Galbraith

Mary (Jacqueline) and Joseph (Vincent) with the
baby Jesus (Jonathan--isn't he perfect for the part?)

Jonathan Henry Galbraith

2011-09-25T17:24:00.000-07:00

This past week began as a nice normal week; the first one we've had for awhile. But by Wednesday night that all changed as we were awakened by a call from our son, Ben. His Jessica was in labor and they needed me to come and stay with the children while she went to the hospital. This is baby number 6. I decided that I best not hesitate. So I threw a few things together and headed to Palo Alto, arriving sometime after midnight. They headed out and I fell on top of their bed, clothes and all, and attempted to sleep through what remained of the night.

Five little kids were surprised to find me instead of their parents Thursday morning. But, following Ben's written instructions, we got through their routine and delivered the school kids on time. A healthy 9 pound plus baby boy arrived that morning! Each anticipated child brings prayers for health and strength. Our prayers were answered yet again with this little boy. You may imagine the excitement that followed as the children found out about their new little brother. Ben drove all of us to the hospital Thursday night to visit and see the baby. It was a wild time as all competed to hold him at once. But patient parents gave each child their special time, in turn.

Jonathan, one day old

The kids visit mom Jessica. Jonathan is in
there, somewhere.

Arrived September 22, 2011: Jonathan Henry Galbraith

These grandchildren are an energetic bunch but were very good at following their grandmother's instructions. They were all mine Thursday and Friday. I cleaned, washed, cooked and organized in an effort to have all ready for our new little boy. I somehow didn't foresee spending this much time away from home. I only brought one outfit, which I wore for three days. I got pretty sick of it! On Saturday Ben and Jes returned home, with their special bundle. Later in the day I finally returned home, so happy for the safe arrival of the baby and also happy to be able to return home. Home. It seems like such a long time since I've spent much time there.

Today (Sunday) Ben and Jes asked me to come back and help for a couple more days. This time I'm taking more clothes.

My Husband the Patriarch

2011-09-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

Colorado Monument, located close to Grand Junction
and visited by Elaine and me.

Brynn Jansan and new husband Roy Long

Buddy Elaine Conlon in front of part of Gateway Canyons,
a get-away near Grand Junction.

I wrote this entry a week ago but had endless problems inserting the pictures. I am settling for this format a week later. So the entry
below is actually dated
SEPTEMBER 18, 2011

Sometimes life is too full to be captures by a few words. I've been gone for 2 1/2 weeks. It has given me a special appreciation for home. Colorado was my home for those few weeks. I spent some time with Colorado friend, Elaine Conlon. We had tons of fun together, driving around the show spots of Grand Junction and watching a movie each night before going to bed, early. The early to bed thing was necessary, as Elaine is a very early riser and walker. So, for a couple of weeks, was I. The Colorado stay ended in Cedaredge, where I helped my sister Maryanne and hub Bob clean out Mom's home and hold a two-day garage sale. We got rid of lots of stuff. Bob and Mar stayed on another week to finish the clearing out, making Mom's home rather a sterile place, with most signs of her life there removed. The result left with it a sadness, particularly felt by Bob and Maryanne as they pulled away and headed for their home. I won't return there now until, possibly, spring. We can take our time sorting the remaining of Mom's possessions. The renters move in October first. It is hard to say how our relationship with the Ranch will go. I'm not sure how I feel about being there with Mom and Dad removed from it. Perhaps it will not call to me; or perhaps it still will. Time will tell.

I came home a week ago tomorrow. How sweet it is to be home! How wonderful everything looks. Being gone from Layne for such a long time gave me a longing for him. I was especially happy to see him and feel his arms around me once again. I believe that absence is often a good thing. It makes me appreciate the people in my life even more. It's nice to find friends in family.

Just a couple of days after my return, Layne and I headed to Arizona, where our Mongolian daughter Brynn Jansan, got married to a man named Roy Long. We went with some reservations. Roy is a very nice man, but much older than Brynn and not a member of the Church. They seem to have nothing in common. But the wedding was lovely. Roy made arrangements for us to stay at a vintage hotel in Tucon, where they were also married. It was a beautiful place, full of interesting history. We met and enjoyed Roy's family, who all love Brynn and were very supportive of the wedding. So I feel a bit better about their chances for happiness. All that family support can only be good.

Son Ben's second daughter, Alexis, was baptized on Saturday. All the local family gathered for the occasion. It was a lovely time seeing the excitement in Alexis' eyes and then enjoying Ben's chicken, cooked with his special vinegar and tomato recipe. Yum. Ben's Jessica is very pregnant with their 6th child. It is scheduled to be a boy. That will give us 21 grandchildren! I'm thinking that is all we may get.

Here's the special news: Layne was ordained to be a patriarch today! Can you imagine it! It still cannot. Never in my wildest thoughts could I have anticipated that he would do this. His ordination was pronounced by the Stake President, Kendall Cooper. He covered just about everything imaginable in his comments and blessing. I was set apart to assist. So there you have it; our lives are forever changed, or soon will be. How is a patriarch supposed to live? Behave? I guess we'll soon find out. In the meantime, Layne has decided not to watch his favorite TV program, NCIS, anymore. Yep, he's cleaning up his act. Here's hoping that all will work as it should and he will feel the Lord's inspiration as he blesses members of the stake. As the stake president said, he is now a prophet, seer and revelator to those who come to him for blessings. But no pressure.

Son Ben and daughter Alexis
on her baptism day.

Layne's ordination to Patriarch, with family members present:
James, Layne, me Cliff, Reed, Scott, Rayne, Allegra, & Audrey

Family Happenings

2011-08-29T17:10:00.000-07:00

My three boys: Reed, Gerald and Benjamin

Slowly but surely we change with time. Layne got used to seeing doctors when he was flying. The company required two exams each year. But since retirement his health sentiment has become, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." So you may understand how difficult it was for me to arrange for him to see a skin doctor. He had some spots on his face that were not healing. I wanted them checked. He didn't. So I made an appointment for him and just informed him that he was going! He consented. But I went with him to make sure the doc checked all the spots I had in mind. He returned from that experience with burn spots all over his face. You may imagine how impressed he was with that. "I'll never go back there," he told me. I was afraid that he would be quite a sight, covered with red burns, for the duration of the week. But from the start his magical skin made little of it. He looked good from the first day.

Frances and Gerald

Elaine's dog, Lili, sitting between my legs.
Elaine says she likes me!

Gerald and his family spent a day with us on their way back home. Gerald is such a good talker. I love that about him. The family locals came over and spent time with us and Ger and family on their last night is the USA. So our house was filled with family and fun once again. We are so lucky to have most of the family close by. Ger and Fran let on Thursday morning. We had a lovely dinner with our neighbors on Thursday night and then I headed to Colorado, where I'm staying with my friend, Elaine Conlon. We are in the thick of girl stuff and watch "chick flicks" each night. I've decided that being away from Layne once in awhile is
a good thing. I realize how much I love him and how valuable he is to me in a dramatic way when I'm away from him. How can that be bad?

Salt Lake

2011-08-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

Layne's twin brother, Lynn, his wife Camille
and their son Curtis and family (behind)

I don't like traveling much. Home has, hands down, the biggest call to me. But this past week we were off to Salt Lake, to visit with Layne's twin brother, Lynn, and our son Gerald and his family. Gerald belongs to a benevolent and wealthy Chinese family, via his wife, Frances. Her father heads an extended family that works together and shares the family monies much like our Church United Order concept. Because of that, Gerald and Frances live in a beautiful home in Taiwan, owned by the Family. Hence, their home costs are very minimal. The Family fund also bought two homes in Draper, Utah. Ger and Fran have furnished one of them and they stay there when they come to the States with their English students for their month-long tour each summer.

So, after that long explanation, it makes a bit more sense to say that Layne and I determined to spend some quality time with Ger and Fran, so we flew to Salt Lake last week to see them. Our standby efforts paid off both ways, as we made the flights into and out of Salt Lake just as we planned. Upon our arrival, all of us headed to Kaysville to visit Layne's brother. The Galbraith boys claim to be very close and I suppose, in a Galbraithy kind of way, that might be true. But we see and talk to Lynn and his wife Camille, maybe, once a year. That would not fit my definition of "close." I wish it were more as I love spending time with them. But for some reason, over the years, we haven't been together very much. So it was a treat to spend a few hours with them last week. Lynn and Layne are twins, but quite different in temperament and appearance. We had fun talking and laughing together.

Grandson Seth

Granddaughter Angelica

Gerald and Fran's home in Salt Lake is almost new, but he had several home projects that he wanted to accomplish. So the rest of our time in Salt Lake was spent working on his projects. Actually, I love having a job to do. Working on something that makes a noticeable difference in things is very rewarding. So it was fun to see progress on the house and the light that filled Ger and Fran as each thing was accomplished. It was quite bonding, and I'm very keen on that sort of thing.

We came home on Friday and things moved along like they always do. Saturday was our Stake Conference at Church. The stake president, President Cooper, asked to speak with us after the meeting (which we missed to attend a neighbor's party). The outcome of that meeting was life-changing. Layne has been called to be the new Stake Patriarch! For a month he has been fearful of being considered for this. As he responded to the request, his face flushed and his eyes filled with tears. I believe I understand his fear. He now must cultivate a spiritual condition that is worthy of hearing the voice of the Lord, by a schedule. He will be fully dependent upon inspiration to function. That's pressure! Not only that, but this is a lifetime calling!

The new Patriarch

Nephew Bryan, who visited us on Sunday,
just in time to learn of Layne's new calling.

Since then we have thought of little else. What can we do to make our home more receptive to the Spirit of God? How can we create a more spiritual character? It is a team calling the Stake President said. So there will be a function for me to play. I wonder how this will impact our lives. Having this assignment does answer a couple of questions that have been on my mind. We won't be selling our home anytime soon. We won't be going on another mission any time soon either. We are here for the foreseeable future. There is some peace in having that settled. And, as we move forward, I will say that I have every faith that the Lord will take care of us and direct our path. This ultimately will be for our good. It's the details we have to work out. So now begins our leap into a new spiritual adventure.

Home Activities

2011-08-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

Son Ben's girls, Alexis and Jacqueline

I am a free spirit by nature. Being of this nature, I relish open time. Time that I am free to do anything with! I was investing in such thoughts when son Ben called to see if I'd babysit some of his babes while he and Jes went out of town. Of course I said I would. So the three oldest kids came on a Wednesday and stayed until the following Sunday evening, when our family time climaxed in an extended get-together to celebrate Cliff's birthday. It turned out to be a lot of fun, as being with the kids is. I felt tired at the beginning of my time with the little kids, but got into it. I'm always pleasantly surprised by my adaptability. I think we can do and enjoy more than we think. Often I find myself entering into some activity I don't feel up to, only to find that I have it in me! It's a happy surprise each time. I love those kids!

This past while has been full of activity but not much of what I planned on. It seems like life is mostly like that. I have array of projects that I hope to accomplish only to find myself leaving those to the very last. So I rarely get to them. I need to change that by being a bit more disciplined. I'm a wild woman with open time; it goes to my head as I fill much too much of it with hopes and plans rather than action.

Balloons at Carmen's grave

Layne and I worked in the temple twice last week. It was one of those things I didn't want to do but did. I had so much fun! It is a joy to have a place where I feel embraced by the place itself as well as the people that work there. There seem to be a number of things that I don't look forward to but should. I wonder how to go about acquiring a happier anticipation of such things.

Our granddaughter Carmen would have been 11 this year, on August 10th. We celebrated her life by meeting up with her family at her grave in Antioch. We talked about our memories of her, put flowers on her grave, prayed for her and released ballons. I love having a set-apart time to devote to her memory. As the time passes, it is easy to not think of her as often. There are now small members of our family that don't know her. I feel the need to keep her memory ever before us. I'm glad for these times of remembering.

One of my walking views

I am resolved to exercise regularly. Again. This time I determined to use Rayne's newly acquired tread mill. It's located downstairs in the "dungeon", our room without windows, where the kids often go to play video games. I was explaining my plan to daughter-in-law Dorothy when she said, "you have 6 acres; why don't you walk around your yard?" That was a rather obvious suggestion, I thought. So, taking her advice, I've been walking around our wild and hilly property each morning. Why do I forget how nurturing it is to be outside, among other living things? I love those walks. They take me up hills and down, through the orchard for a peachy snack and through the garden for the latest ripe and ready vegie. Often the cats follow me and keep me company. I love it! Oh, and I'm feeling stronger too.

The Busy-ness of Home

2011-07-31T20:47:00.000-07:00

Why is it that desirable things all seem to come at once? During those intense days with my sister in Colorado my son Gerald, who lives in Taiwan, came to visit in Sunol. Daughter Jessica's three children were also at our home. Where was I? In Colorado! "It's all good", as the saying goes. But I felt torn between all those "goods." I kept my commitment to my sister Maryanne, but longed to somehow reach back to home as well. So when Layne suggested I end my Colorado stay by flying right home, I was happy.

But granddaughter Rayne was graduating from BYU Idaho in just a couple of days. She wanted me there soooooo, I gave up my trip home and, instead, drove to Salt Lake with Maryanne, where I met up with daughter Audrey and hub Cliff and drove to Idaho with them. As with so many things that take effort, it was worth it. Rayne looks lovely and her graduation was fun to see. You can see her here, in her robes, in one of the campus gardens.

I was lucky enough to get on an early flight home from there the very next day, on Saturday. I arrived in time to greet Gerald as he and the kids were driving out, on their way to Utah. Our Gendreau kids were still here though so we were at no loss for grandkid company. Layne did a grand job taking care of kids and all else while I was gone. One of the great things about being gone for me is being missed by this hub of mine, who rejoiced upon my return. Now I could take care of the grandkids. How romantic!

Daughter Jessica arrived from Seattle the same day I arrived home. It was great to have her with us. It's a rare thing these days since she is running a book store. We had fun with her and the kids and sent them all off for their home on the following Tuesday. It was a great bond all around even if exhausting. But maybe I'm saying that because I came home exhausted to begin with.

So now here we are, in the quiet that we two alone generate, surrounded by the new collection of boxes from Mom's that Audrey and Cliff were generous enough to bring home to me in their truck. Somehow seeing Mom's things contained in just seven boxes makes it all seem more manageable. I've got all but the family records sorted out and incorporated into the house. Too bad I can't say that this is all. We've made a dent in Mom's things but only just that. Over the next few months we hope to get the bulk of the sorting done. In the meantime, I'm home, alone with Layne, enjoying some open days to do with as I please. For now.

Pictures: Top is our graduating Rayne; son Reed and his son James are in the thick of a chess game (they came to visit several times to bond with Jessica and her kids); Layne is standing next to a navy buddy, Larry Durbin, who came to visit with his wife, Teddie. They are great people and also retired from United Air Lines. Bottom is a glimpse of a day at the beach with Audrey, Dorothy, Jessica and kids. You see the day through the eyes of grandson Bruce, who LOVED snacking on the sand.

Sorting

2011-07-18T06:01:00.000-07:00

Traveling is not my favorite thing to do. Perhaps it is the United Airlines stand-by system that does me in. Each time I leave for the airport butterflies enter my stomach as there is no certainty that I'm going anywhere at all, besides the airport itself. One has to have some spirit of adventure to handle this process. As I grow older I seem to have less and less of it. At any rate on Tuesday evening I began my journey to Salt Lake to meet up with my sister Maryanne. Two late flights to Salt Lake looked promising. I can't imagine why they schedule such late arrivals; it doesn't seem like a prosperous schedule at all. I DID make it on of those flights. That is the good news. The bad news is that both were delayed, making my arrival at the Salt Lake Airport 12:30 AM! My poor brother-in-law, Bob, was there to pick me up without complaint.

Maryanne and I drove to Cedaredge from Salt Lake on Wednesday. It was a lovely drive and I enjoyed a visit with Maryanne that we have not had for three years. The days following have been full of sorting and disposing of the many possessions of my lovely Mother, who saved absolutely everything she ever received. There it all was, papers and mail from years ago, treasures of all sorts that she inherited and received from friends, all piled up in fruit boxes in her garage and behind room. Dirt and general vermin filled the cracks and crevices throughout. But we piled through and managed to dispose of an impressive amount. At least we were impressed. We ended each day covered in filth and grime, but warm with the notion that we were making progress. We enter this week with plans to work inside the house. It's a much cleaner place to be and is filled with family records of all sorts. It is fascinating and frustrating all at the same time. As much progress as we feel we are making, there are piles more to go. One trip definitely will not do the job.

I'm having trouble sleeping here. Perhaps it is the unresolved thoughts about Mom that keep sleep from me. I can't put a clear conclusion on it but I feel a general discontent with being here. I guess I miss my mom and her lively presence. The place is empty without her. It doesn't feel quite right to go through all her things and dispose of them in some way or another. She would not have it in life so I suppose there are some residual feelings in my heart that she may not like it now either. Yet it must be done. I suppose I have my own feelings to sort out as well as her stuff. I also suppose that it will all resolve itself with time.

We've had little in the way of company since we've been here. That has been a blessing. But on Sunday our friend, Tracy Munson, came for a visit. Sometimes conversation can take a magical turn. Our small talk with Tracy turned into a lively conversation about developing talents, using life productively and joyfully and making sense of our journey by adding a meaningful spiritual dimension to it. With such conversations, the Spirit of the Lord enters and warms all. It happened with
our conversation with Tracy. At these times the joy of intimacy invades and rewards, making interaction with friends so rewarding. It was so for us last night.

Today we address the challenge of the house once again.

Pictures: Top is a picture taken by my nephew, Mark, of Mom's mail box, with her driveway and home in the background. Middle you see the trash we accumulated from the room above and the garage. Bottom picture is of the room behind Mom's garage. We began with little room to even move around and quit with lots of moving around space. The picture doesn't do justice to our accomplishment!

Another Cousin Camp

2011-07-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

Layne told me not to do it. But I decided not to disappoint the kids so this past week we had a rather informal Cousin Camp. Eight of our grandkids spent the week with us. I admit to being unusually tired. The house was not prepared either. Piles of stuff we brought home from Mom's place fill our rooms. But on they came anyhow. I didn't plan any activities for them as I did last year. They just did their own thing. I put them all in Mom's old room, moving her stuff out of sight.

Wow, what a thing to keep 8 kids happy. My time was totally taken up in their service. Breakfast led into lunch which led into snacks and drinks, then dinner. It was hot. I offered them a trip to the beach and they got so excited. But I could find no second driver to get all those kids there. So Audrey and I decided to get a kid pool for here and have them make do with that. Well...one thing led to another and I wound up getting a much bigger pool than planned. What a blessing it turned out to be. The kids loved
it! What a marvelous score. No worries for the rest of the time.

I often think that I have to "keep the kids busy" but I was delighted to see that these kids had no problems finding their own fun. They searched for life forms, like lizards, frogs and snakes. They helped the cats find mice. They raced on scooters and chased each other around the expansive space that surrounds our house. They watched movies and ate popcorn. They kept each other awake half the night. It was fun, but exhausting.

Friday found the local kids headed for their homes. Daughter Jessica's three Gendreau children remain. After the rest left it seemed like a vacation to only have these three. l have especially looked forward to time with them, as it is so rare. We've had such fun, just the three of them and us. Today we took them to Church. They are not used to Church and know little of the gospel. But they did just fine. We had a great gospel discussion over lunch. I talked to them about the Plan of Salvation and associated ideas. They got into it and asked some very good questions. I felt quite wonderful about the sweet ideas and truths that came forth from their interest and questions. I love this time with just a few of my babes. When the whole gang is here they connect with each other and I am their slave. But when there are just a few, they are my friends.

There has been no time to think or do anything on my own. I know there are issues to work through and stuff to be organized. I suppose that will come soon enough. Tuesday I leave for Salt Lake to meet my sister, Maryanne. We will drive to Colorado and sort more of Mom's things. I'm looking forward to it. There will be some time to rest, in between sorting. Or so I hope. I keep running into changes in my life without Mom. I can go to Salt Lake now without worries about her, for instance. I suppose it will take awhile to face all of the changes that are now before me. Mom was such a part of my life, routine and thoughts.

Pictures: top shows the grandkids all gathered around our cat, Tiki, as she tries to get a mouse she's trapped in the bush you see in the center of the kids. With their help, the mouse escaped. The middle picture shows our new kid pool with happy kids inside. It's pretty big, isn't it? The bottom picture is our Gendreau kids ready for Church.

An Unwinding

2011-07-03T08:50:00.001-07:00

Layne and I headed for home with a loaded car on Wednesday morning. It was the first time since Mom's passing that we have been alone for any amount of time. We talked quite a bit. it was nice to have him to myself in an enclosed space where neither of us could escape. Layne has the ability to read me quite well. He senses what I need and does his best to provide it. I'm most grateful for that. We had a lovely time together traveling across the desert toward home.

We arrived home Thursday afternoon, loaded with bags and boxes from the Ranch. Who knew I "needed" so much stuff! Isn't it interesting how a desire for something that never entered your mind before can be awakened upon viewing that something. It is hard not to keep things that Mom treasured, even though they are basically "house clutterers". I'm going to give my kids a chance at these treasures when they come on Monday for Independence Day. In the meantime our home is filled with boxes and stuff.

These past few days I have felt so very tired. It is one of those times when I want to just sit and do nothing. That doesn't happen to me very often but it has hit me big-time now. Perhaps it is just a normal reaction to the high demand of the past months. Or maybe its more than that. While at the Ranch I missed the bottom stair in the wee hours of the morning and fell, hurting one of my little toes. I've been limping a bit since. Then early Saturday morning here I got the mother of all leg cramps. In getting up to stretch it out I fell again. My toe problem has created a bit of imbalance for me, you see. That's my excuse anyhow. That fall hurt the same foot and so I limped around all day Saturday.....again. Maybe that's part of my weariness. Or maybe it is just a mix of all sorts of things. At any rate nothing is put away and I'm surrounded by chaos.

Still can't move the pictures, or see them. But I have faith that the top picture is of Mom's grave. Next, grandchildren Scott and Allegra stand on the grave. Bottom is of me and my girls, Audrey and Jessica.

Putting Mom to Rest

2011-06-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Mother is gone. My feelings are suspended for now. There has been so much to do this past week. I seem to automatically tune out my emotions when the demand is high. It sometimes serves me and sometimes doesn't. I find it hard to call them up at will. they bubble up uninvited instead.

Maryanne and I planned to dress Mom's body last Monday. Even though I dressed the body of my granddaughter, I still was filled with stress over it. But sweet friends accompanied us, making the load much lighter. Mom's Relief Society President, Debbie Boyce, her Visiting Teacher, Zella Willoughby and good friend Sharon Palmer helped us through it. Seeing Mom's empty body confirmed to me that she was indeed gone. It is interesting to me how very useless and vacant the body is when the spirit of life is gone. She is gone. Dressing her was easily managed with the help of our friends. Her body looked lovely in her temple clothes.

The folks at Taylor Mortuary were helpful and supportive. I felt embraced by their caring. They managed so many of the details needed to finalize Mom's mortal life. it was a sweet comfort.

Tuesday Layne, Maryanne and I went to dinner at our friends the Palmers. On the way I fell into a pondering. I was thinking of Mom and wondering how she was and how she felt. Gently I felt her whisper into my mind. She said simply, "I'm fine." It was her usual answer in life to inquiries during her post-stroke condition. It came to me so naturally. I felt a tingle of reassurance that her message was real. I know now that all is well with her.

Our week was taken up with preparations for her burial and memorial. Our children were due to scatter their arrivals as the weekend approached. We planned food and activities. We did our best to sort as much of Mom's household goods as we could cram into our few days. We filled the garage with her things, hoping that our children and grandchildren would find some treasures there to take home. Mom has so many things! It will take us months to sort through it all.

Stuff, stuff, stuff. Mom's home is filled with all sorts of it. If she had a fault, this is it. She could not let anything go. Years of accumulation from her life, Daddy's, our Kiser grandparents, and other relatives full her house and garage and barn and...well, you get the idea. Here is a lesson in stuff. It is best to have as little of it as possible.

Most of our children were here for the weekend's events. It was wonderful to be surrounded by family. Our sons carried Mom's casket to her place next to Daddy on Saturday. It was a lovely, sunny day. We gathered to hear a greeting by Mom's new Bishop, Bishop Tulley. Maryanne's husband, Bob, gave the dedicatory prayer and then it was done. It takes just minutes to marry and bury. Isn't it interesting that the most important events in our lives seem to take so little time.

One of those in attendance was my father's half sister, Geraldine. she came with her husband, daughter Donna and grandson. I was looking forward to visiting with them at the meal that followed the burial, prepared by our local Church ladies. But they didn't come. I later discovered that they have an aversion to the Church and felt the could not enter our building. It was the grandson who told me. As it turns out, he is a convert to the Church! I find it fascinating how the gospel has seeped into our family. Little by little it comes, with its subtle influence for good. I wish there had been an opportunity to spend more time with Geraldine; to warm her somehow.

It was the memorial for Mom that I worried most about. Maryanne and I were the speakers and the music was provided mostly by family. Would it go well? It was on our shoulders. I worked on my talk all week, finally pulling it together early Thursday morning. I prayed that the Spirit would make something of it. As with all anticipated events, the memorial came and went rather quickly. I believe the spirit was with us as our program progressed. Many sweet exchanges followed the service, assuring me that we had accomplished our purpose. Mother was remembered with honor.

The family gathered for the last time Sunday night. We ate and visited. I felt such a contentment sitting on Mom's deck, with Layne, and surrounded by children and grandchildren. The late afternoon air embraced us with sweet warmth as I looked up through the trees into the clear blue sky. Some of the grandchildren laughed in the background as they built a mud bridge over Mom's creek. She would have a fit at that. But for me, it was heaven.

As the family left, we did some more sorting. It was work from morning until night. Today, Wednesday, we have started our drive home, loaded with "treasures". I'm looking forward to the rest and to redefining my life without Mom. That part will be hard.

Pictures: I can no longer manipulate the photos or see them in the draft mode; there is some problem with the blogger program. So, they are out of order. Top is the luncheon that followed Mom's burial. You can see some of our family there, notably my daughters Jessica and Audrey (I can't see the photo to add others to that identification). Next is a scene from Mom's burial just after the dedication by my brother-in-law, Bob Berrett. Bottom picture is Mom's garage, filled with some of her many collections. We organized it to provide a bit of family "shopping" while so many of our children were gathered.

Mother Moves On

2011-06-19T18:20:00.000-07:00

Things can change so quickly. This past week Mom began to languish. She stopped eating and getting up. By Friday I took a risk and called my sister Maryanne and her hub Bob and told them Mom wasn't doing very well. They decided to come so they arrived on Friday night. It felt good to have them here.

I'm converted to Hospice care. They are tremendously caring and helpful. They provide us with supplies and medicines, all at no cost to us and are present whenever needed. The amazing care Mom has received from the California medical and hospice service and the Colorado hospice has been free to her. Wow. I don't like the concept of socialized medical care but can't help feeling so grateful for this amazing service she has received. She has been embraced by all sorts of loving people. And so have we, just being near her. Friends have filled our days since our return to Colorado. Mom is so loved.

Mom has been bed-bound and food-less for a week or so. On Saturday she took a turn for the worse. She became fidgety and then totally tuned out, all in repeating cycles. I tried medicating her as directed and nothing changed her fidgeting. I called hospice and Jerome, a friendly medical guy, turned up. He gave us the guidance we needed to give her medication that knocked her out. She stayed that way for hours. By afternoon her lungs were filled with fluid and seeping into her mouth. It was a hard thing to see, but Jerome assured us that she was taking no notice of it and would just sweetly drift away. Wow, she was DYING! Bob and Layne gave her a release blessing Saturday afternoon, telling her it was OK to leave. Four hours later, she did.

Mary Margaret Knox Kiser passed sweetly away on June 18th at 9:15 PM, in the presence of family and friends. One of those friends, Steve Palmer, said he saw my father standing in the room by Mom's window. How comforting that was to me. I believe him! I have been telling Mom that Daddy would come to get her when the time was right. I believe he did. I feel that Mom, after three years of physical struggle, is finally free. She didn't want to go for quite awhile; I believe she had a hard time giving up her many plans for this life. But at last she let go. I picture her now with the many family members that have already gone. I see her dancing with Daddy. I feel her happiness.

But now we must adjust to her absence. How I will miss her. She has filled my time, space and thoughts for three years, not to mention the endless hours she invested in me as a caring mother.

Things often come in bunches. This weekend also brought our Mongolian foster daughter, Brynn Jantsen. She brought along a love interest named Roy Long. We so enjoyed them both. Brynn is helpful and supportive and seemed to be here at just the right time. She and Roy came on Friday. When I told Mom they were coming, Mom thought Roy was Brynn's ex-husband and said, "that man cannot sleep in this house! He hurt our girl." I smiled at that. Since Roy was not her ex-husband, he did stay at the house and added a positive influence to our sad affairs as Mom sunk. Brynn and Roy are gone now and we are making plans for Mom's memorial and the disposition of her many possessions. What a legacy she has left us. I'm so thankful!

Pictures: Top is Mom shortly before we brought her back to Colorado. Below her is Brynn and Roy.

At Home in Colorado

2011-06-12T14:50:00.001-07:00

We brought Mom to Colorado with fear in our hearts that she may not make the trip. My sister Maryanne and her busband Bob decided to drive over so that we all could be here when Mom decided to pass on. It must be the Colorado air. Mom is doing better! At least for now. Bob and Maryanne spent 3 days with us and decided to go back home.

We have been enjoying the Ranch once again and the beauty that surrounds us here. Mom sleeps almost all the time so there is lots of open time for doing exactly what we please. It is quite relaxing. I've had some sweet conversations with Mom. One last Sunday was especially good. We talked of dying and the great adventure that it would be. I could feel such a strong spirit with us as we talked. I believe it was inspired and a blessing to both of us. I have found a spot in her yard that has become a "sacred" spot for me. Each morning I go there to pray and read the scriptures. Being surrounded by nature's beauty is quite inspiring. I believe the Spirit of the Lord is in nature. it is a good place to go to feel that Spirit.

Since Mom is up and down, we've decided to use this time to get ready for her passing. I believe we have things in place so that it will go easily once her time comes to leave. I feel so tender about her. She has left such a loving mark upon her world. I believe that her descendants will be blessed for generations because of her magic touch.

Picture is the entrance to Mom's Ranch in Cedaredge, Colorado.

Our Roller-Coaster Ride

2011-06-04T16:48:00.000-07:00

Not long after our visit with the Kisers, my sister Maryanne called to say that she was coming for a visit. I think she was anxious to see Mom and take in her present condition. Maryanne stayed with us for 4 days. We had fun and she got in some good bonding with Mom. She feels strongly that we need to tell Mom that she can go; that we will be all right. She did that while she was here. She also helped me with a couple of home projects. That really perked me up. She left on Saturday.

That night I noted that Mom's

voice was deep, like she was catching something. She was unusually licid and had difficulty falling aslee

p. Sunday morning she awoke with a rattle in her throat. Our foster daughter, Michelle, stayed with her while we went to Church. When I returned home, early, she was completel

y changed. She lay in her chair in a deep sleep. I had trouble rousing her. She could only mumble. It scared me. I called the nurse who

said she wasn't sure what was happening but told me how to care for her. We moved her to her bed where she fidgeted for awhile, talking to herself, us or no one at all. She wanted us there so Audrey and I sat in her room with her and watched her go from talking to us, to talking in a completely different direction, shutting usout. Then she quieted do

wn and went to slee

p. We felt sure she was dying. That strengthened when we found we could not rouse her. She became totally unresponsive.Thinking she would not live through the night, I called the kids. Everyone came! Maryanne's son Bryan and his wife even came. Our Sunday evening was spent in Mom's room, with everyone taking a turn telling her good-bye and that we loved her. Even the long distance kids called and talked to her. We visited until midnight, when everyone left. I kissed Mom goodnight and we went to bed.

I approached Mom's room on Monday morning with fear in my heart. I opened her door and looked in. She looked right at me and said "Hi." I was stunned! "Mom," I said, "I thought you'd be dead this morning. Everyone was here last night to tell you good-bye." "Sorry a

bout that," she said. I got her up, she ate breakfast and slept most of the day. Wow. What would y

ou do with such a mother? Is she leaving or not? First she is up, then down, then up...

..Our hospice nurse says her pneumonia has returned and that there isn't much we can do about it. So Mom's days are shortened but it is unknown by how much. There are extra things that must be done now to help her breathe easier. So her routine becomes a bit more complicated. She takes it all in stride, trusting me to do right by her. I find that caring for her has many joyful moments. I don't mind care giving too much; especially caring for Mom. Our nurse, Jenny, told me that I have a gift for it. That comment made me feel wonderful. I worry that I'm not doing all I can, so her praise was so encouraging.

Now nothing is normal. Sometimes she can't sleep and chatters constantly. Sometimes her speech is clear and sometimes muddled. Sometimes she wants to eat and sometimes n

ot. Sometimes all she can do is sleep. We are on a roller-coaster ride with her. We decided we'd better get her home to Colorado as fast as we could. We feel strongly that she needs to be in her home to pass away. We hastily packed and left on Thursday morning. We drove all day Thursday. I worried that Mom wouldn't do well, or worse, die on the way. But she did fine. We arrived at 2:30 AM Colorado time and took her inside her own little home. She perked up! She wanted to go through her usual night time routine. I was amazed. We got her into bed by 3:00 AM or so and we fell into bed shortly after. She has been fine since then. We are here with her until she is finished with this life. How long it will take only the good Lord knows.

Pictures: My sister, Maryanne, and me; me on the chair that Maryanne helped me recover; some of our family gang gathered in Mom's room to tell her goodbye; Maryanne's youngest son Bryan with his wife Jessica and new daughter, Maggie. Mom saw Maggie for the first time when they visited us.

Kisers

2011-05-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

Since Mom has been home from the hospital we have been talking about a get-together with our local Kiser relatives. The Kisers I'm referring to consist of my father's brother, Uncle Mike, and his two children (my cousins) Michael and Judy. We had a date with them for dinner last Saturday afternoon. It involved traveling to San Francisco, where Michael lives. Mom really wanted to go. Saturday morning she was all for it. I began helping her get ready about 1:00. "I don't think I'm up to going," she said then. I could see that she was torn; she is a people girl and really wanted to make this journey. Yet she felt weak and tired. It was hard for her to give up the trip. I took her picture and recorded a message to the family from her so that they could feel her spirit even though she wasn't there. We tucked her back into her favorite chair, put on some music and left her in the care of the kids downstairs.

We made the 50 minute drive to Michael's home in Brisbane (by San Francisco) without Mom. It felt funny to be just the two of us. I teased Layne that he was taking me out on a date at last. He isn't big on such things, you see. After our arrival at Michael's home we remembered that he has very steep stairs leading to his front door. Thank goodness we didn't bring Mom. How would we have ever managed to get her inside! We had a great time bonding with those Kisers. They enjoyed the message from Mom and were fascinated with the means of that message: my iphone. "What's that thing called?" Judy asked. In case you are wondering, all of them are "tech-retarded". I had such fun showing them all the tricks my little phone can do. They were full of "ooohs" with each function.

I have wonderful childhood memories of my Kiser relatives. As a grown-up I've discovered a few skeletons in the Kiser closet, but when we were children, all was sweet and loving. Though our lives have taken very different directions over the years, when we are together there is friendship and loving connections. I love spending time with them. Not many of the older generation are left now. My Uncle Mike is 91, just two years younger than Mom. His wife Bette is not far behind him. Once they are gone, WE are the older generation.

Pictures: Top is Mom just before we left to go to Michael's. Bottom is the local Kiser gang:
L to R: Stan Perry (Judy's husband), Helen (Michael's significant other for many years), Judy Kiser Perry, Michael Kiser, Bette Kiser (Uncle Mike's wife) and Uncle Mike (Daddy's younger brother).

Mothers Galore

2011-05-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

Mom is home! She came home last Thursday. Oxygen tanks now sit in a row in our house and we have regular nurses, from a local Hospice. She is a different woman; much weaker with little appetite. She wants to sleep, sleep, sleep. She is still her sweet self, but in a different place. "My body is getting ready to die," she told me a couple of days ago. She is making a shift from living to dying. That is a major change for her. She has been so focused on life. But here's the thing. Her left lung is partially working. There is air exchange there. Her oxygen needs have greatly reduced. How interesting. I believe that she is on her way to the next world, but, perhaps, more slowly than previously thought.

Since Sunday was Mother's Day, I got an idea for Mom. I asked those close to her to write her a love letter. I printed them up and read them to her. She loved them! They are all in a binder now for her to review when she wants to. I want to surround her with love so that she can begin her exit with loving support. I hope I'm up to helping her on her way, when it becomes clear it is needed.

I stayed home from Church on Mom's Day, to be with my mom. She is too tired to leave the house right now. It is the first time I've missed Church for a very long time. It felt strange. I read the scriptures and organized my itune music so as the have a nice collection of Sabbath music to play when the family came. It was fun. Mom slept through it all.

Layne talked with all our family moms, asking them for food requests for Sunday. He and Cliff came up with quite an imaginative menu for our Mom's Day feast. There was roasted chicken for me, taco salad for Audrey, spinach pie for Jessica and Indian butter chicken for Dorothy. Mom isn't eating much so there was no special dish for her. But our desserts followed the same pattern as our dinner. And the guys prepared it all. It was great. We had lots of fun with the family and lots of food. Sadly for grandson Isaiah, Sunday was also his birthday. He got a little lost on Sunday. Anticipating that, his folks celebrated it on Saturday. That turned out to be a very good decision.

People. Family. I'm so grateful to have them in my life. I'm glad that I decided many years ago to marry a fine man and have a family. My joy in them grows as the years pass. I thank the Lord for family.

Pictures: Top is our Mother's Day chef Layne on the job. Next is Mom responding to one of her Mother's Day calls. She looks pretty good, doesn't she? Even now, she gets high on people. Then comes our ever-growing baby Bruce (Reed and Dorothy's #5 son), Bottom picture is our birthday boy, Isaiah, enjoying our birthday gift to him, one day early.

My Mama

2011-05-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

Mom is still in the hospital. Her left lung is still deflated, in spite of all the doctor has tried. The sac around her lung has been drained twice. What mucus there was in her lung has been suctioned out. Air has been pumped into the lung to stimulate it to work. So far, nothing has convinced that lung to re-inflate. The doctor now feels that it probably will not. Perhaps, he surmises, it has been deflated longer than we thought and is too injured to function. In any case, the doctor told us last night that there seems to be nothing left to do but bring her home, on oxygen. Eventually, he surmises, the lung will become infected and that infection will spread into her blood and that will be a fatal situation. So he suggests that we arrange for hospice care in our home for her. It looks like she will be ready to return home in a couple of days.

I feel like there is a cloud over my mind. I can hardly take this in. I have been steeling myself to lose Mom at some nebulous future time. Now it feels imminent. And it appears that I must be the one to help her leave. I have been preparing myself to do this, but now it feels painful. Mom has always stood before me as a shining example of a benevolent, fruitful life. I have taken joy in her zest for living, her creative thinking, her fabulous memory, her ongoing intelligence. She is bright and insightful even now.

Layne says not to invest in such thoughts yet. She may get that lung going after all. It is not that I don't want her to be able to leave us when she is ready; it is that I don't want her to leave this way. I was so hoping that she could just slip away, sweetly and gently. Of course few of us get to do that. But she so deserves it. Still, I have great faith that the Lord is in charge and He will help us all. I believe it will all turn to our benefit. So I will steel myself for whatever needs to be done.

Contrasts

2011-04-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

Life forms of all sorts wander throughout my small space. Last week it was grandchildren. Each morning we greet deer, turkeys, our assortment of cats and other creatures. I spent Monday of last week cleaning up after our adventure with Ben and Jessica's children. We had such fun, but a day of reckoning almost always follows. I cleaned and washed as fast as I could on that Monday because Gerald, Frances and kids arrived that same evening. I was ready for them, just barely. We had a short but sweet couple of days with them, including a custom-made Easter Egg Hunt for Seth and Angelica, designed and carried out by Isaiah and Allegra. We slept once again on our wall bed. There is nothing like giving one's bedroom away to notice the length of a visit. It changes our world, but not in a bad way. The kids left on Wednesday and, happily, arrived in Taiwan in good shape.

"I'm so tired," Mom said with increasing frequency throughout the week. She began to have trouble breathing and was coughing up blood when we decided that she should go to the hospital. Layne and Cliff took her on Friday and discovered that she has pneumonia! It is often so hard to tell when a condition is serious. At least it is for us. Mom is now stabilized and it looks like she'll be fine. She's on antibiotics and had her left lung drained of fluid. So as of today she is resting somewhat comfortably. It is an up and down ride with Mom. There are days when I steel myself to lose her and there are days when it never enters my mind.

While Layne and Cliff were taking care of Mom, I was experiencing an "isotope study" at the doctor's office. It was done to look at my arteries to see if there is any plaque build-up. I've been looking forward to doing this as I really, really want to know what is going on with my body. Should I be worried, or not? The technicians were impressed with my 68 year old body. That made me feel quite hopeful. But the real skinny comes when I meet with the cardiologist next month.

We celebrated Easter with Audrey and family and Ben and family. It was a sweet time. We discussed the Atonement with the kids. They really seemed to understand it quite well. Lately I've been studying the New Testament and the Atonement and feel a much deeper appreciation for the Savior. This study is, for me, often an infusion of insight, awe and love.

The best use of time continues to be a challenge for me. I have two contrasting philosophies: get as much good stuff done as I can versus my fundamental principle that people should always trump stuff. I find myself fighting that battle almost daily. I'm trying to turn myself over to family needs more often. Actually, if I think about it, that is almost all that I do lately, if you count caring for Mom. I'm also giving myself to Ben's Jessica on Fridays, to help her with her busiest day of the week. I find it enjoyable and am trying not to think of it as a cut into my "productive" time. What could be more productive than bonding with family? Today I go to Reed and Dorothy's to help them with an over-demanding day. So there you are. For now, in the people versus stuff war, the people are winning.

Pictures: top is son Gerald eating the waffles that his babes ordered for breakfast. Next are Gerald and Frances' children, Seth and Angelica during their Easter Egg hunt in our back yard. Bottom shows me with friends Frank and Sharon Heiss, who came to dinner during their visit to California.

Full House

2011-04-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

"Oh dear," declared Mom as I held her to brush her teeth tonight. "Oh dear," has become her favorite phrase. She repeats it at least 20 times a day, for almost every occasion. When I ask her what is wrong she routinely replies, "Oh, nothing." She is not one to complain. But I can imagine how difficult it must be for her to be so dependent upon us for help with just about everything. Once in awhile, she mentions her sorrow over this. I have taken to not responding much to that. What can be said that is a comfort except that we don't mind. How can she not not like her present condition? Perhaps there is some eternal benefit for her in experiencing this. Or perhaps the benefit is ours. Or maybe it is a little of both. Enduring now is the challenge.

As mentioned previously, Ben and Jessica are moving into a new home this week. So their four younger children have been staying with us. We had such fun together their first day, Tuesday. The little girls slept downstairs with Audrey and Cliff. We put the two boys to sleep in our new wall bed, in our study. It all went beautifully. The boys went right to sleep. So did we. I awoke about 1 AM to two soft brown eyes staring at me. "Grandma, I'm thirsty," 4 year old Zachary told me. So I got up and got him and drink and re-tucked him into bed. I was almost asleep when Mom blew her whistle, calling me to help her. "I need an tissue," she said. I gave her one and went back to bed. I was almost asleep when in came Zachary again. "William is sleeping in my spot and there's no room for me," he told me. So I got up and moved William and tucked Zach back into bed once again. I must tell you that I was very patient with all these interruptions. After all, I had a good night's sleep the night before. I was just settling in yet again when our alarm went off at 4:30, signaling our wake-up call to get ready to go to the temple. I felt amazingly good throughout the day considering my night.

But Wednesday night was a bit more stressful as Zachary exposed me to another set of bedtime problems. I could go into details of that night's challenges but suffice it to say that I didn't get much sleep that night either. So by Thursday night I was pretty scrambled. I slept like the dead that night in spite of Zachary's nightly concerns. I know I've gone on and on about my nights but I should admit that our days were pretty fun. The boys played and played. Baby Abigail has decided to like me and she became my little shadow. I loved it.

Every day was full to the brim but especially Saturday. It was our yearly Easter Egg Hunt. I know...it was early but the only day everyone could come. We had two hunts: daytime for the under eights and nighttime for the eights and older. I decided to have the older kids hide the eggs for the little ones and the little ones helped me hide the eggs for the older ones. It worked well. The clouds parted Saturday night, allowing a full moon to light the egg field for the older kids. Each egg had reflector tape on it to catch the attention of the hunters when hit with their flashlights. It was fun! After the night hunt, everyone went home! All that was left was the three of us and...the mess.

Putting Mom to bed tonight (Sunday) seemed such an easy task after five days of caring for Ben and Jessica's four children. In spite of the work I really enjoyed having them here. I believe I am in the happy position of loving the chaos of many bodies and also loving the peacefulness of having few.

Pictures: Top is Abigail eating waffles...her request for breakfast. Next are William and Zachary really getting some kicks out of their bubble bath. The younger kid's Easter Egg Hunt is next, then Reed and baby Bruce just after the hunt. Rayne is at the bottom. She was home from college for spring break. She graduates this year!

Diets and Such

2011-04-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

I have been unusually motivated in my efforts at a low cholesterol diet. For two months now I've been avoiding all things animal and adding cholesterol busting stuff like flax and red rice yeast. I've been such a good girl, if I do say so myself. So it was with great anticipation that I went with Mother to have my blood tested. I was so hoping that I could control my cholesterol level with diet. I have a thing about drugs. It seems to me that, as a society, we are way "over-drugged". I'm determined not to fall victim to that. So imagine my disappointment when the blood test came back with no change! All of my efforts have been in vain! So I had some whipped cream on my pumpkin pie today. Soon I'll go in for a test to determine if there really is some kind of build-up in my blood vessels. Until then I'm going to live as I normally do. If there turns out to be a plaque build-up it seems to me that I'll have to consider medication. I don't want to, but I feel a little trapped.

Son Gerald and his family are temporarily settled in their Draper, Utah home for a few weeks. While we are enjoying the coming of spring with its wildflowers and sunshine, it has snowed in Utah. Our front yard is full of blooming poppies and lavender once again. It is beautiful. How I wish it would last through the summer. But I should live for today and feast on the beauty that is before my eyes right now. OK, so I will!

Lately it seems to me that I've become somewhat mentally lazy. I've noticed that, upon reading of new, thought-provoking ideas, my mind wants to stop before thinking too hard about them. I'm a bit appalled at how lazy my mind wants to be. Now that I'm sufficiently aware of this problem in myself I'm going to make a greater effort to broaden my learning efforts.

As I returned from visiting teaching my ladies on Tuesday, Audrey called me to say that son Ben and his family are moving! This was quite a shock as I just saw them on Friday and they had no such plans. Ah, children! I have such trouble keeping up with them. It seems that a house came up for rent on Monday and they applied for it and paid first month's rent. Now they are in a rush to move in, fast. Can you guess what happened next? The kids are here with us for the rest of the week so the move can actually happen. So here we are with babes. More about that later.
For now, I'm a woman on the run as there is a kitchen to clean, a mom to put to bed and children to settle in as well. So, I'm off.

Pictures: top shows our front yard with irises and poppies. So lovely; I wish it would last. Next is a view of our hills from the side of our property. It's worth a look because of the lovely green hills in the background. Once the rain stops they will be brown but now they are a little piece of paradise. Next is our baby orchard, where I love to hunt for rocks. Two of our cats are keeping me company. Bottom is daughter Audrey holding our little Bruce.

Four Fifths for Bruce

2011-03-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

"Huh," Mom said a couple of mornings ago when I greeted her. I talked further and she continued not to hear me. So I had to admit to myself that I waited just a tad too long to have her ears cleaned out. So we went to fix the problem with the ear doctor she loves. He grew up in Cedaredge. Imagine the magic of meeting someone from Cedaredge right here in Pleasanton. I'll bet he is the only one in the whole city who even knows there is such a place. And he happens to be Mom's doctor.

Last week son Gerald (from Taiwan) called to say that he and the family were coming for a visit. I love having time with Gerald. He and I are kindred spirits. We have similar interests and seem to be able to share ideas and thoughts with clear understanding. But there isn't much opportunity to spend time at this. So I felt very excited to have them come. They arrived as planned Wednesday of last week. They pretty much slept for two days. Well, Ger and Fran did. The kids ran around and played right from the start.

Having Gerald and Frances here necessitated some local family get-togethers so we enjoyed the whole gang for several days. It was a wild, but fun ride. I'm happy that everyone enjoys spending time together. I talked Ger and Fran into staying through the weekend because, as luck would have it, it was the very Sunday that Reed and Dorothy had chosen to bless their new little son, Bruce. Ben and some of his kids spent Saturday night with us, so Sunday morning we all headed for Brentwood and the local chapel there. It was magical to see all three of my sons and my son-in-law bless little Bruce. Four-fifths of my boys for Bruce! Grandson Scott was the organist and grandsons James and Isaiah helped pass the sacrament. Everywhere I looked there was a Galbraith doing something! What sweet pleasure. Our whole clan was there except Chris and Jes. I long for the time when all of us are united, in space and faith. I really miss my Gendreau kids.

There is a very sweet Arabic woman of my acquaintance who spends her days writing books. She has used me, and especially Audrey to help her edit them. We have both decided not to do it anymore as she has a way of very sweetly leading us into spending days and days at the job with no end in sight and no offer of compensation. She takes a seductive approach by asking for far less than she really wants. Her requests began with me but are aimed at Audrey now. Shortly before Ger and Fran's visit she began calling me. After 20 or so repeated calls I reluctantly called her back. "How are you, dear," she said in a friendly voice. "I would love to come and show you my latest book." Hum. What could I say? We set a date. She came. I looked at her books, including the new one in draft form. "Is Audrey around? I want her to see the book too," she said gently. I called Audrey, who reluctantly came up. Lovely. Sweet conversation. Then it began. "Audrey, can you take a minute and look at my chapter introductions?" she sweetly said. "I have 20 minutes. I'll do all I can in that time," Audrey responded. And she did. "Can I make a date with you to look at just a little more?" she asked Audrey. Trapped, Audrey agreed to a time that turned out to be in the middle of Ger and Fran's visit. Our lady came again and they worked on our dining room table for several hours. I felt so guilty for getting Audrey into that trap once again. So, finally, I confronted our lady. "You have seduced Audrey into far more than you initially asked for," I told her. "That is not fair." She flushed and apologized. I talked with her further about the unfairness of her expectations. I guess I'm including this here because I hate confrontations and usually evade them at all costs. So this was a biggie for me. Audrey was warmed and our lady was cooled by my efforts. But I felt it had to be done. We'll see what the long-range effect will be.

Ger and Fran left for Salt Lake on Monday morning. They will be there for a couple of weeks, then return for a few days more with us, then head home. It is always a comfort to me to see them in the flesh. When they are in Taiwan I hear so little from them. I sometimes worry about Frances, as she is so devoted to her work. But she is as sweet as ever. The kids spend just about all of their waking hours on school work when they are home. But when they are here they can play. Well, they can play once they spend a few hours on homework each day. So, of course, they love coming to the U.S. According to Ger, there is little time for family life in Taiwan. Most people spend their time working or being in school. So there is little bonding time. Most don't spend much time talking to one another and there is a sense that, once married, no more effort needs to be made at a married relationship. Ger and Fran are working at changing that tradition in their marriage. I think Gerald is doing the bulk of the work at that, at present. Frances is a very good-hearted person and seems to be responding to Gerald's efforts. I like her very much.

Is there ever an end to worry about our kids? It seems that each of my families offers me a potential concern. But, since there is little I can personally do about any of it, I work to cast it out of my mind. I am trying to simply love and support them the best I can.

Pictures: Top two are of Gerald playing with Ben and Jessica's children, Abigail and William. Gerald is a kid magnet. Next are granddaughters Angelica (Ger and Fran) and Allegra (Audrey and Cliff). Bottom shows Ben and Jessica's son Zachary (at bottom) with Ger and Fran's Angelica and Seth (who hates to have his picture taken).

It's Wet

2011-03-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

Mom often hooks upon a thought and loses herself to the outside world. Recently we had a Relief Society less at Church on charity. At the end a sister stood and began to offer the closing prayer from her seat, in soft tones. "You sisters are very good at charity," Mom spoke out, not noticing the prayer at all. everyone smiled and the prayer continued. "You've all made me feel so welcome," Mom spoke out again. Smiles again and the prayer began softly again. "I'm so grateful for all of you" Mom interrupted once again. This time the praying girl walked to the front of the group, spoke louder and managed a complete benediction. It all ended fondly as the sisters love Mom. She has bonded with them as the weekly greeter, so they look tenderly upon her. Mom has a magical effect upon people; way more people greet her at Church than me. And, technically, she is just a visitor!

Rain was in the forecast this past week. I determined to beat it as I hurried to the front yard and the weeding that was beckoning to me. Poppies and weeds had enveloped the plants we hoped would thrive and provide a lovely presence in the front of the house. Even poppies, which I planted with abandon last year, can be weeds if they grow in the wrong place. So I put on my boots, knee pads and gloves and headed outside. It wasn't long before our little kitty, Cherry, joined me. She presented herself right in the middle of my work, begging for pets and attention. Then she sat nearby, simply looking on. Layne calls her a ca-dog because she loves people. We (the cat and I) worked together until the rain started. I lingered until it really picked up. I lingered some more until I was thoroughly soaked. There is something strangely magical about being out in the rain. Especially when I don't have to worry about my hair.

My grandson, Isaiah, was hoping to set up a pellet gun battle with his deacon's quorum in our back yard. But it didn't stop raining. To my surprise, it didn't stop the boys either. They covered up with black garbage bags and, with guns in hand, played in the mud, shooting each other, ALL DAY. Their shoes filled with muddy clay and their cloths were soon soaked in spite of the garbage bags but they played on and on and on. Only pizza pulled them inside, briefly.

The picture above was taken during a brief, sunny pause between rain storms. We have a family of nine deer that love to meet in the mornings near the compost pile, where the grass is tall and green.

Rain and rain and rain has filled our days, and more is predicted. I love the rain. Even better than rain however is the anticipated visit by our Taiwanese family. Son Gerald and his family are scheduled to arrive this coming Wednesday. I'm so excited to see them! Speaking of family, our Brentwood boys have a break from school for several weeks. The youngest two school-goers wanted to spend some time with us, so they spent the night with us this past Monday. I'd like to think that they really do enjoy our company. Perhaps they do, but the real draw is the chance to play their "Gameboys" without restriction. Vincent also wanted help with his Pinewood Derby car. Whatever their motivations might be, we take them any chance we get. You can see Vincent and Timmy here, on a popcorn break in our kitchen.

There are just some days when I really don't think much of the world and the people in it, in general. Saturday was one of those days. Layne always tries to console me by saying I need more sleep. Hum. He may be right. But in the meantime, I was cranky all day. "A donkey on the edge", son-in-law Cliff would say. Saturday happened to be the day we were assigned to clean the Church building. It appeared that Layne and I would be the only ones willing to do the job. That rather sent me over the edge just a tiny bit. But as it turned out another family joined up and we got the job done pretty efficiently. By the end of the day, things turned out OK and I felt ashamed of myself for being such a crab. But I still had to sleep it off.

Shades of Gray

2011-03-08T10:16:00.000-08:00

Grandson Scott sent me a text early this past week, reminding me to come to his high school musical on Friday, where he played in the orchestra. With that prompting, there was no way we would not attend their production of "Pipin". Knowing nothing about the play, I was looking forward to the show. We arrived in Brentwood early, to visit with the kids and enjoy dinner with Reed and Dorothy and kiddos. Mom came along too. We entered the gym moments before the play was scheduled to begin. The only handicapped seating was in the very back and there was no room for regular folk. So we seated Mom in the back and went to our assigned seats. The orchestra, including Scott, entered and the show began. As the show progressed, the actors and singers did a fine job. The orchestra was good too.

It seems to me that participating in that kind of show takes over your life for a time as each actor absorbs the story, with all its lines and music and invests in endless rehearsals. So it seems to me also that the story should be especially chosen where youth are involved to provide an uplifting message. How naive of me. As the story of Pipin unfolded a steady diet of fornication was woven into it. I was disappointed to see the primary characters refer to it over and over again. The ending was a bit more positive. The kids were great. But it was shadowed, for me, by the message. What could have been a strong message of positive purpose was grayed down by too many references to sex. I worry that our already sex-laden society is shooting its dark arrows with greatest energy at our youth. Many of our teachers seem to have no clue that this may not be best for kids. I don't believe that Scott noticed any of this; he simply enjoyed participating. Perhaps that is the advantage of youth after all.

I worked in the garden one day this past week. I'm always surprised by the seductive power of the yard. I had a simple goal of cleaning out one section of the front yard. That finished, other parts called to me. "I'll just spend a couple of minutes there," I thought. But that turned into yet another hour, and on it went, until it was time to fix dinner. I simply have no self-discipline where the yard is concerned.

This past Sunday was our extended Family Home Evening. Ben decided it would be fun to bring 4 of the kids over on Saturday and spend the night. It was a lovely time as we had some unusual alone time with Ben. It was fun to bond with the little kids too. Little Abigail is beginning to be interested in grandparents. It is such a lovely sound to hear her say, "grandma!" Sunday afternoon the rest of the gang arrived and we had a very fun time celebrating Ben's and James' birthdays and having a lesson on honesty by Jessica. Games followed, led by Reed. These times together are a growing treasure to me. There is not a person in my family that I don't love and enjoy. No bad apples mar our pleasure in each others' company.

This week I'm a people-lover, more than usual, as I have been reminded all week long of the value other people play in my life.

Pictures: Top is Ben and James, the birthday boys. Ben recently shaved his head as a cure for increasing hair loss. It's a whole new look but we are getting used to it and beginning to like it. Next is Abigail, all ready for Church. Note the binky, a constant companion. Bottom is our Extended FHE game time, led by Reed and Dorothy. Fun for all.

Service With a Smile

2011-02-27T21:15:00.000-08:00

"That's cold," Mom commented as I sprayed the back of her hair with water in an effort to redirect her curls. It was Sunday and I was attempting to provide a lovely hair style for her. "It's the price you pay for beauty," I told her. "What if I pay the price but don't get the beauty," she quickly responded. Sometimes, in her now quiet manner, she surprises me with her insight and wit. She charmed our visiting temple friends, the Larsons, today with her warmth and friendliness. She is a lovely lady.

This past week has been full of people. We spent Monday with son Ben and family. Tuesday I went to Brentwood to help daughter-in-law Dorothy. You can see the latest version of new grandson Bruce in this snapshot. Wednesday was Temple service. Thursday I visited some of my Church ladies and Friday we spent most of the day celebrating our neighbor Beverly's birthday. Saturday we watched grandson Vincent perform and today has been full of fun with friends Nikki and Brooks Larson. Wow, what a week. I've hardly had time to do anything at home. I can claim to have gotten the wash done. That's all! But I'm not stressing. Nope, not a bit.

It's been cold and wet here. I like it. I love the soggy sights outside our windows and the view of snow covering our hills. Perhaps you can spot the snow in the picture out our front window. The few flowers that we have are starting to bloom. The five cats are getting along. What's not to love.

Another Anniversary

2011-02-19T06:24:00.001-08:00

As before mentioned, I've been working on a drapery project. The good news is, I'm finished. The bad news is, I don't like it! It is always disappointing when what I see in my mind doesn't match the actual product. That often happens to me, perhaps because I am an optimist at heart. My mind's view of things is almost always better than the actual things themselves. At any rate, the inferior draperies are hanging up still until I can figure out a way to improve them.

On the upside, our Valentine's Day was very nice. I fixed leftovers, but served them by candlelight and with a lacy kind of tablecloth. Mom, Layne and I exchanged valentines and sweet conversation. Layne even danced with me. That is always a stretch for him so it was a lovely gesture. After we put Mom to bed, I talked him into watching one of my favorite movies of all time, Enchanted April. I've pressed him to watch it before but he has resisted. But he hung in this time, it being Val Day and all. He didn't like the first part but by the end he was converted. Ah, what pleasure to see such a conversion after all my previous efforts! The movie left a sweet feeling that lingered all through the night.

The photo above was taken this past week. We've had tons of rain and this rainbow filled the sky one lovely morning.

I may have mentioned that Layne gave me an iphone for my birthday. It finally arrived and I must say I've hardly done anything else since then, except play with this phone! I am so amazed at all the great things it does and am determined that I will explore all its possibilities. I have to admit that, while I love techy things, I usually figure out the basics and never move beyond that. But this time I'm going to make a real effort to take full advantage of all the functions this phone has to offer. Well, most of the functions anyhow. Well, at least the functions that will be most useful.

February 18th marked the second anniversary of granddaughter Carmen's death. I drove to Brentwood to meet the kids and go to the cemetery. We gathered there in the late afternoon light on a cold and rainy Friday. Dorothy brought balloons. We spoke of our memories of Carmen and released the balloons, which soon disappeared in the wind, clouds and disappearing light. I still feel such sadness at the loss of our girl. As time passes, I worry that her memory will fade, especially for the little kids. I feel that we mustn't let that happen.

Reed treated us all to dinner at a lovely restaurant; the kind that cooks your dinner right in front of you. It was such a treat as we gathered around the large grill and watched the chef do his fancy chopping and frying. I'm trying to give more of myself to family. I think I've been too structured in the past, letting things get ahead of people. I hope to change that.

The Blessings of Leisure

2011-02-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

It is interesting to me that I have been able to find open time so easily these past few weeks. I've been trying to take time to do nothing; pretty hard for a girl who seems to need to be busy. I've been fairly successful at doing very little lately. And I kinda like it. I am beginning to notice, however, that I've been overlooking things. But, hey, there's a price to pay for idleness too.

Part of the reason I am seeking leisure is a reaction to what may be a health problem for me. I am pretty invested in seeing myself as a healthy, strong person. So when my doctor friend offered me a free stress test I figured that it would confirm my excellent health. But she surprised me by saying that my heart is "abnormal". It seems that I have an irregular heart beat (not a problem) and also a partially clogged heart artery (a potential problem). Hum. That seems like a pretty compromised situation to me. So I'm working on confirming that diagnosis and then coming up with a plan to address it. So I suppose I must face this compromised health situation as I coast into "old". Hey, but maybe its all a mis-read. I'll soon find out.

Layne has a pretty long "honey-do" list these days. So I've tried not to bug him about things I want him to do. One of those things is to hang some frames for drapes in the living room. I've had a vision of how I want it to be done. But over the months that Layne hasn't done the job, I've come up with a simpler plan. He announced this past week that he was ready to take it on. So my days of leisure have ended, for now. My simple plan took him two days to accomplish, but the frames are ready for my drapery project. And I must get to it as the frames are most unattractive without the fabric to cover them. So I'm on the job.

As we worked on the framing job Friday, a beautiful sunset greeted us. It was sight not to be missed. So mom joined us in taking in that beautiful view. You can see it here. We awaken lately in the clouds. You can see that here as well. You can't beat nature for beauty and inspiration. Although this photo of mom with grandson Bruce is heart-warming. Work and leisure fills my days but the beauty in the world I see fills my soul.

Friends and Family

2011-01-30T21:01:00.001-08:00

The same weekend our grandson Bruce was born, friends of Mom's from Colorado came visiting. We asked them what they would most like to do and they came up with something that surprised me. They wanted to visit Alcatraz. It is an interesting thing that we don't visit local sights unless visitors lead us to do so. I've never been interested in visiting Alcatraz; I've always thought it would be a depressing experience. But we dutifully made arrangements to take our friends, Cliff and Elaine Conlon, on this particular adventure.

So on Monday, January 17th (MLK Day), we headed out early for San Francisco. We took BART, then a bus to Pier 33, where a ferry took us to Alcatraz Island. Just getting there was a fun adventure. The day was foggy at first, but opened up into a beautiful sunny day. Upon landing at Alcatraz I was surprised by the beauty of the sights that greeted us. The Island is a rocky hill but has pockets of grasses and flowers that make a lovely setting for what is now the skeletal remains of a maximum security prison, closed since the 1960s. The tour took us through the prison, located at the top of the island. It was fascinating. My conclusion is that it was a perfect place for a prison. The tides made a swim to the mainland nearly impossible. Yet the city is placed close enough to the prison to make the sight of it a daily reminder of freedoms missed. When the wind blew just right, even the sounds of the city greeted the prisoners as a regular prompting of what could have been, if their choices had been different. The thought of what could have been strikes me as a major source of sorrow. What a perfect set-up for a prison to my way of thinking. It is too bad that it is now closed and only offers a crumbling reminder of its former use. It was closed because it was too expensive to maintain, supposedly. But it seems to me it was really closed for political reasons. A shame.

In the photo on top you can see the Conlons with Layne standing in front of one of the deteriorated buildings below the prison.

We had fun with our Conlons. After they left for home I spent the remainder of that week and this past week with my daughter-in-law Dorothy, helping her with little Bruce. I lost myself in that happy mission. You can see how Bruce has changed since the picture in my last entry.

I am working on not requiring myself to be endlessly productive, but instead, giving myself permission to pace myself and be open to more spontaneous opportunities. I need relaxing, thinking and open time. It's there, I've decided. So I'm going to teach myself to grab it. Here's to spontaneity!

Here Comes Bruce

2011-01-19T20:50:00.000-08:00

Son Reed and his wife Dorothy decided years ago that they were finished having children, after bringing 5 lovely ones into the world. Then their only daughter, Carmen, died in 2009. Since that time they have softened to the idea of another baby. They began to feel that it would be a blessing to have another little one to, perhaps, provide some kind of comfort and certainly a loving distraction from their heartache. They hoped for a girl. In due time, Dorothy became pregnant. To their disappointment, all signs pointed to another boy. She went into labor this past Saturday, January 15th and delivered....a boy, just like the sonogram said. He is a big (almost 10 pounds), healthy, masculine little boy.

I arrived at the hospital shortly after his birth. Little Bruce Theodore Galbraith lay peacefully on his other grandma's lap. Dorothy looked lovely and peaceful. Reed was soft and tender as he embraced and welcomed me in. It was a lovely time. There is a special spirit that comes with a new baby. We all felt the sacredness of that time with this new little boy. He is a boy, but I believe that he brings special gifts with him. His masculine little self will yet be a sweet comfort to his parents, I think. How blessed are we to welcome yet another little one who is beautiful, whole and bright. It is the greatest of heavenly gifts.

Reed is already in love with his new little son. Dorothy is also very happy. So, with pleasure, I announce the arrival of our 20th grandchild, Bruce Theodore Galbraith.

A Symptomatic Woman

2011-01-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

I awoke the other night feeling like a weight was on my chest. It was accompanied by a feeling that something was stuck in my esophagus. Hum. It came into my mind that these things could be a symptom of heart problems. That stressed me a little so I got up, took a couple of deep breaths, got a drink and waited for it to go away. It did.

It seemed wise to have it checked out so I went to see my doctor this past week. She took an EKG and all looks well with my heart. So I guess it is stress. Why should a woman with an empty nest and no discernible pressures feel pressured? All I can say is that I must make it myself. Isn't it interesting what we do to ourselves? For no justifiable reason I feel the need to be absolutely productive every minute of my day. What am I thinking? Looking at it rationally, this is crazy thinking. Yet it seems to be a part of my nature that overtakes me without my consent. Obviously I need to work on this.

So I began exercising. Again. We'll see where it takes me. Is it possible that a woman of my inclination can actually relax without guilt? I'm determined to try it out and see. With three months of gifted Netflix movies ahead of me, I think I'll try watching a few movies and tie my self down so that I don't couple it with projects.

On the lighter side, here is a photo of grandchildren Isaiah and Allegra. I am giving a presentation on writing life stories in a couple of weeks, so I asked the kids to pose reading Daddy's book and looking ENTHUSIASTIC about it. So here they are with their amazed looks. I'm using this picture in my presentation to convince the class that our kids really will enjoy reading about us some day.

Enduring

2011-01-02T21:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt so weary that sleep escapes you? I'm feeling that on this January Sunday. The holidays have rushed by so fast that I've lost track of the days. They were fun but over so quickly! Our kids came over for New Year's Eve and January family birthday celebrations. That includes mine! I love the informality of New Years celebrations. I didn't cook; just assigned food to the kids. I didn't decorate, just let things stand as they were. We rented a jumping house for the kids again and they jumped all day. So, it was a fun and relaxing time. We even stayed up to celebrate the new year with some energy and enthusiasm.

But I am oh, so weary. Not that it stops me from dreaming once again of what I hope to accomplish this coming year. I often wonder what is practical to hope for. I have big plans, but wonder if I measure the worth of my days too much by accomplishment. Perhaps I should think more of meditating moments and plan for more fun. The trouble is, my tendencies toward the unending pursuit of accomplishment is reinforced by a husband who is even more unrelenting in that area. Still, I have hopes of modifying my ways.

My Mom seems to be slowing down a bit. I am struck with thoughts lately of losing her. I believe I am more ready than ever for that eventuality, yet fear it as well. Her care increases in its demands, slowly but surely. I find that the challenge with it is not in caring or doing for her per se, but in enduring in the effort. There are times when I long to escape. But I won't. I'll hang in. I pray regularly to do it with pleasure. Mom deserves that.

We live in fog and dampness these days. There are growing complaints by many about the wetness of this winter. But I love it. When I awaken to the sound of rain, I feel happy inside. Water is life.

Top picture is our post New Year's Eve celebration with Layne in the background cleaning up. It's 1 AM but we are surprisingly lively. That changed the next day.

Bottom picture is granddaughter Rayne, on her way back to college at BYU Idaho. This is her last year!

Christmas Visions

2010-12-26T18:07:00.001-08:00

It seems to me that the Christmas season, more than any other, gives one a chance to develop ambitious anticipations. I worked hard to get the business of Christmas done early. But then an idea entered my mind that I just had to develop. We always act out the nativity on Christmas Eve. But last year the grandkids kinda fooled around with it. So I decided to make a video of the Nativity, with the kids in it. So early on I dressed and posed them. Then I put them into Nativity pictures I already had and wrote up a narration to go with it. I especially wanted to create my granddaughter Carmen as Mary. You may remember that we lost her to cancer in 2009. Her last Christmas with us she asked me if she could be Mary in our Nativity play. But I had already promised it to Jacqueline. Not knowing it would Carmen's last chance to be Mary, I told her she could play that role the next year. She was gone from us the following February. So I determined that, this time, she would be Mary. You can see one of my efforts in the picture of Mary at the right. So, with this is a promise kept, in a small way.

My vision with these Nativity pictures was to make it into a video/slideshow with music and narration that could be duplicated and given to each family. But it took longer than I anticipated to put it together (doesn't it always?!). So I made a slide show, played Christmas carols at random and had Layne and granddaughter Rayne narrate it live. I was so hoping that the grandkids would love seeing themselves and would get into the story. They DID get a kick out of finding themselves in the pictures, but didn't feel the spirit of the story as I'd hoped they would. It was not worth all the time I put into it. Maybe if I actually polish and finish it, it will be better and more effective, for next year.

Still, Christmas Eve and day went fairly well. We had our usual celebration with all our local kids. It was chaotic and great in general. I'm so grateful at this time for a family to celebrate with and one that I enjoy. Sometimes I lose track of how good life is. I feel surrounded by benevolence and comfort. It is a great time to be alive.

I was thinking, this Christmas, of how amazing the life of Christ was. He gave His whole mortality for the benefit of other people. There was no space for His own wants and needs. How miraculous that there is someone in the universe that is that benevolent and that He would direct His gifts to us. I'm grateful.

Just below is Lexy, Vincent and Jacqueline dressed in their Christmas Eve pajamas. Bottom picture is grandson Timothy playing a piece on the piano at our family talent night on Christmas.

Nutcracker

2010-12-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

Our good friend Rachel Tan has a dance studio. She trains her dancers in the Royal Academy of Dance method and is very precise in her training and thinks big. As a result, her yearly dance recitals are close to professional in quality. For several years Rachel has had a vision of doing Nutcracker with her dancers. She loved the ballet as a girl and dreamed of presenting it as a community service while at the same time giving her dancers a fabulous experience. So she approached the committee that plans the Oakland Temple Hill Christmas activities and presented her idea last year. They went for it. And so Rachel and her instructors have been practicing Nutcracker routines with the students all of this year.

She asked us to be the grandparents in the party scene at the beginning of the ballet. Well, she really asked me and I said yes for both of us! Dancing is my passion, you know, and Rachel is my friend. So how could I say no? It was our idea that we would simply wander through the first party scene and be finished with our part. And that's what I told Layne. But we were wrong. We were to participate in two group dances and Layne had a solo part! Well, you may imagine how Layne, my non-dancing boy, responded to that. But he didn't back out. So when rehearsals began in October, we didn't miss attending them. And just about every day since rehearsals began, Layne asked me do dance with him. I must say that I loved that. He NEVER asks me to dance with him. Not until now. But he is a stickler for being prepared so we practiced both of our dances until we knew them in our sleep. I loved it!

The time arrived for the performance this past weekend. And so, for the first time, Temple Hill offered the Nutcracker. For free. Tickets were dispersed for crowd control and disappeared within the first few days of being available. We anticipated a full house both nights. We were not disappointed. There were people everywhere!

The picture at the top is of our costumed selves onstage in front of the living room scene. Pretty good scenery, don't you think?

Imagine little girls from a dance studio attempting Nutcracker. What would you expect? You would have been amazed and surprised, for our little girls did a good job of rivaling any professional dance company. From very small girls to grown-up ones, the dancing was flawless. Added to that were beautiful costumes and sets that were amazing. It was beautiful! I've never been that into Nutcracker before, but I absolutely loved it. I think even Layne did. We got to see most of it from the audience since we were finished after the first act. We bonded with our director and the other adults dancing with us until we became a very cohesive, friendly group. Layne's solo was so cute. The audience loved seeing him dance and then bend over with a "hurt back" from the effort. It was euphoric. I'd do it again. I wonder if Layne would?

And so, one of our Christmas "pressures" is done and this week we can enjoy preparing for family events. Sunday was one of them. We had a "Bethlehem Dinner" downstairs, in the kids' domain. We all wore headdresses and ate "Bethlehem" food with our fingers. It was quite good. But I WAS hungry. Here you see Mom in her headdress. There's more fun to come. I'm excited.

To Stress or Not

2010-12-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

Once Thanksgiving was over I determined that I would be prepared for Christmas early. So as to enjoy the season, you see. My shopping was done by Thanksgiving, leaving very little to worry about. Or so I thought in my pollyanna mind. I decorated and wrapped early. But I've discovered that open time just invites more activity and that leads to pressure to do what could be done. Not that I actually had any open time; just the anticipation of it. Are you following me here? Christmas is a week away and I'm still not ready. How did that happen? Why must I feel such pressure to do all that is in my mind as a possibility? And so I'm stressed.

My sister, Maryanne, visited us this past week. You can see her here with me in front of our Christmas tree. It was fun to have her with us for a little while and my mom loved it. Mom is slowing down a little. She mostly wants to lie in our lazy-boy. I've decided not to bug her about being more active as I have been doing. She moves as I ask her to but isn't interested in doing anything on her own. Maryanne came to us with a broken foot and various other ailments. I suppose I must own up to growing older and accepting the limitations that eventually brings. But I don't want to.

My non-dancing husband now asks me to dance with him each day. It is a dancing woman's dream. You see we have agreed to be the "old folks" in a Nutcracker production on Temple Hill. That seemed like an easy thing. But we are doing two dances and Layne has a brief solo part in the first act! We have had rehearsals each Saturday for what seems like a long time. Layne wants to do our part to perfection, so we practice on our own regularly. I like it! We perform this weekend. It has been nothing but fun. I don't even feel much concern about performing. But, after this weekend, my dancing invitations from Layne will end. Or maybe he'll be hooked on dancing with me and be anxious to continue. What do you think the chances of that happening are?

Picture to the right is our youngest granddaughter, Abigail, with the baby Jesus. She loves him!

Thanks

2010-11-28T21:51:00.000-08:00

My daughter-in-law Dorothy is pregnant. You may remember that she is Carmen's mother. She and Reed decided that another baby would help mend their hearts, so this little one is due in January. But last Monday Dorothy was cramping and bleeding so I told her I would come on Tuesday and be her slave for a day so she could rest and get things settled down with her very pregnant body. So that's what I did. The four boys were engaged in a Harry Potter video marathon when I arrived. Vincent was sick and had thrown up. I cleaned up some of that mess and generally straightened things up. I also looked after their foster son, Eric, a cute little toddler. Dorothy slept while I did her grocery shopping. I left for home in the afternoon, feeling good about doing something good.

By Wednesday night I realized that Vincent had kindly passed his sickness on to me! Can you imagine my disappointment in awakening on Thanksgiving day with visions of throwing up instead of turkey? In fact, the thoughts of the turkey brought on major nausea. My darling husband kept me tucked in bed while he finished our Thanksgiving preparations and assisted our downstairs family in serving it up. And so the party went on without me. What luck to be sick on the very day when feasting is in order. How unfair! By evening I could feel myself rallying. Friday morning found me feeling almost normal and by Saturday it was as if nothing had happened. Thank goodness for left-overs.

The picture above shows Layne at work on our Thanksgiving menu. Below him Isaiah is passing by me with his celebratory dessert. You can see my red toes at the bottom of the picture.

There is not much good to say about being sick. But one good thing I can say, in hindsight, is that I am so grateful to feel good, to be healthy, to have energy for living! Why is it that losing something raises its value? Why can I not be just as grateful for those things which I always have and enjoy? I am working on perfecting my sense of gratitude, as I find it is, for me, a key to happiness.

Traditions

2010-11-14T19:53:00.000-08:00

Our granddaughter Carmen has been gone for almost two years now. She would be 10 if she were still with us. It struck me today, during a discussion at Church, that the reason I can feel some peace about losing her is that I believe in happy endings. I think the Lord is a "romantic" of sorts. He plans these happy endings for all who will look to Him and trust in His decisions. I have faith that her passing will somehow work to the good of all of us, including her. But I miss her.

While we were visiting Seattle, I saw a poem written about Carmen by my granddaughter, Gemma. Gemma and Carmen are the same age and were great friends. I was so touched by Gemma's poem that I'm including it here.

I am nice and imaginative
I wonder if I'll ever see my lost one again.
I hear the ocean's voice
I see a girl smiling outside my window
I want my Carmen back
I am nice and imaginative.

I pretend that there is an angel by my side
I feel sad about a meaning that just got worse
I touch a cobra
I worry that I will get turned into soap
I cry for my Carmen
I am nice and imaginative.

I understand that people can turn to soap
I say there are futures that are real
I dream that Carmen smiles to me
I try to play violin
I hope for a million guinea pigs
I am nice and imaginative.
(by Gemma Gendreau)

For his eagle project, a scout in Reed and Dorothy's ward decided to build a bench in Carmen's name, to be placed at her elementary school. He held a fund raiser at the Digger's restaurant in Brentwood last Monday night. We piled into Audrey and Cliff's big car and drove there for dinner. The place was packed, mostly with people responding to the fund raiser. I'm so amazed at the outpouring of love for Carmen, even now. Her life, and her death, has rippled through this amazing community in a wonderful way. Brentwood has endeared itself to us.

When I was a little girl, we visited Colorado every summer, during Daddy's vacation. Our grandparents and great-grandparents lived there. My great-grandmother, Eva Halfacre ("Gram"), made wonderful cherry pies. Her cherry orchard provided the most important ingredient. Gram cooled her pies in the window sill, just like you see in the story books. Her daughter, my grandmother Margaret, also made wonderful pies. My mother caught the knack of delicious pies as well. Pie is our family thing. It is the favored dessert. I like to think that I inherited a pie gift as well. My girls have only a passing interest in the family gift. But some of my granddaughters have shown an interest. Rayne is an excellent pie maker.

Our daughter-in-law, Jessica, called me this week and asked me to teach her kids to make pie. It seems her daughters, Alexis and Jacqueline, want to learn the art. So the whole Ben-Jes gang came over on Saturday for pie lessons. All five of the kids began the lesson but Alexis and Jacq managed to endure to the end. We made the pastry and then homemade pudding for the filling. Their pastry turned out tender and good (the secret to good pie). I was proud of them. So perhaps there is hope for the family pie tradition to continue. Yes, I know, pie isn't the most important tradition in a family, but a pie thread weaving its way through our family is a sweet thought to me.

Top picture is of Gemma and her brother, Miles with their pet guinea pig. Middle picture shows
granddaughters Abigail (with the binky), Jacqueline and Alexis. Bottom picture is of Jacqueline and brother William rolling our their pie pastry. It turned out tender and tasty!

Seattle on the Fly

2010-11-07T20:51:00.000-08:00

Daughter Jessica has lately mentioned with some urgency that we are not visiting her often enough. She has recently opened a used book store called "Bumbershoot Books", in the Seattle area. It is so far holding its own. Layne is helping her organized her book work. We have felt unable to travel while Mom is with us. But we decided to experiment with a very brief trip to Seattle, to spend a day with Jes and her family. So, after our Temple day on Wednesday, we rested briefly and headed for the airport. I must mention here that going to Seattle by air is quite risky for stand-bys. There is usually no room. But the late flight on Wednesday night looked promising, so we went for it. We were blessed. We got on the plane with room to spare, arriving in Seattle at 10 PM. Not much of Wednesday was left for visiting but we got a few minutes in before going to bed for the night.

Jessica suggested that we walk to her store on Thursday morning. It was a 2 mile, hilly walk. Her little store is a welcoming place, full of books of course, but also a fireplace with comfortable chairs; an invitation to sit and read and stay awhile. So, while Layne looked over her paper work, that is what I did: sit awhile in front of the fire and read. Then Jes and I walked back to her house, via another bookstore located on our way home. Jes made friends with the owner, encouraging friendship and cooperation. Her offer was happily accepted. So she has managed to make friends with all the book store owners in the area. A good move, I say. Benevolence is usually the best way.

So we walked about 4 miles on Thursday. Did I mention that I have a sore knee? Amazingly, it didn't seem to mind the walk much. I spent the rest of the day re-upholstering a love seat for Jes. it matches the chair I did for her earlier. I was so proud of myself for finishing it! I worked on it for 4 hours and that was enough, amazingly. Gemma and I cooked dinner for everyone after that and then, after a little kid bonding, we went to bed. It was a jam-packed day filled with physical exertion. I survived it! Friday morning we caught a 6 AM flight back home and walked in our door by 10 AM. How amazingly lucky is that! We managed to catch both flights we tried for. What a rare and wonderful blessing. Mom was in good shape when we returned, so we'll go again, for two days instead of one next time.

Layne asked ME to dance on Saturday. That is a rare but welcomed occurrence for my non-dancing man. Since we are now dancing in a Nutcracker performance, my perfectionist husband wants to get the steps down perfectly as soon as possible so he can quit worrying about it. So, joyfully, I accept his regular offers to dance and we are becoming quite proficient. I'm proud of him.

Sometimes I think I am right on top of things and doing well and sometimes I feel so out of control. I taught my 14 and 15 year old Sunday School class again. I felt so inspired while preparing the lesson but it melted into a mediocre lesson today. I can't seem to control when I can access the Spirit to help me and when I cannot. Sometimes ideas flow through me at a rapid rate and sometimes there are none at all. I cannot seem to predict or plan it. I find that a little frustrating.

Pictures: Top is daughter Jessica and her youngest, Peyton. Middle picture is her son, Miles. Below him is Gemma, Jessica's oldest. The picture at left is of Jessica's business card, in the shape of a bookmark.

Spooking

2010-11-02T14:30:00.001-07:00

"I'll be glad when this stage is over," Mom said as I was helping her brush her teeth. I am amazed by my mother's optimism. She still has hopes of recovering her strength and returning to her independent lifestyle. Most of the time anyhow. But it has been 2 1/2 years since her stroke, and so it is obvious, even to my hopeful self, that she is not going to recover anymore function. I smile inside at her comment but do not respond to it. Should I dash her hopes in the name of reality? My instincts say no. For who really knows the details of the future?

During our Sacrament meeting at Church Sunday, one of our young men fainted, by the doorway near us. Layne was up like a shot and had him in his arms. As the young man, Jared, began to come to, he leaned on Layne as they made their way to the couch in the foyer outside the chapel. One of our nurses was soon at Jared's side and declared that he need something sweet. We provided it. Once recovered, Jared looked at Layne and said, "Brother Galbraith, did you really pick me up and carry me here? I thought you were way past your prime!" Layne laughed and laughed at that. But isn't it wonderful that my 70 year old man can carry a 6'3" young man? I'm proud of him.

The local kids asked us if they could spend Halloween with us. Since it fell on a Sunday this year, they were hoping for a more "sabbathy" celebration. Ideas poured into my mind as I thought about a Sabbath Halloween. For some reason I felt an excitement about it. Halloween isn't my favorite holiday, but I couldn't resist an almost explosive enthusiasm. I came up with a plan. When it comes to children, the best laid plans are always altered by reality. This was no exception. Yet the day turned out to be pretty close to the plan I had in my head. Our gang arrived at dinner time (since Church for us doesn't end until 4 PM). We had monster pizzas, with everyone creating their own pizza by decorating it to look like a monster. Some did it, some didn't but it was all fun. I made sour dough bread in the shape of a spider. Layne's punch was cooled by ice shaped like a hand. We also had salad and chili. It was fun! Afterward we invited the kids to trick or treat at 6 doors located throughout the house. A grown-up was behind each door. To get a treat each child had to answer a gospel question. Ben's Jessica provided all the treats and they were fabulous--all home-made. More fun. Then we had a short lesson on how a Christian is like a pumpkin. Then dessert for the grown-ups. All things considered, it was a great evening.

The picture above is of grandson Isaiah, doing his best to sneer, in his Halloween costume. Can you guess what he is? That's a box of cereal on his chest, with arrows going through it. He's a "cereal killer". Did you guess it? It was an award-winner! He's standing in my art room, which I am in the process of re-organizing. That hopefully explains the messy background.

I read a book on aging that divided the elderly into two categories: the young-old and the old-old. Layne and I are in the former category at the moment. For us life is quite enjoyable. It is busy, but we are healthy and able to do just about all that we have ever done. I'm grateful for that and do not think about what will come when we enter the old-old stage. Perhaps we should put more planning into that time of life, but some kinds of forecasting do not serve us well.

This lamp at the right was once my grandmother's. She bought it many years ago in Mexico. It was originally a mottled combination of colors. Isaiah and I painted it black and put it out for our Halloween Sunday. I love it!

Settling In

2010-10-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

It is amazing to me how easily I forget carefully acquired habits, once away from the situations that promote them. Mom's first week has gone along fine, but I seem to need to relearn the habits I acquired last year, in caring for her. It all comes back, but why did it leave in the first place? Mom is definitely weaker than she was last year. She is 93 now, so I must remind myself not to expect too much in the way of physical progress for her. It is time to ease down.

We did take her to a Bluegrass concert Friday night. It lasted much longer than I expected--we didn't get out until after 10 PM. Mom's usual bedtime is 8 PM. But she hung in. As with so many outings, I wasn't very excited about going. But, as with many outings, once there, I enjoyed myself. The music was lively as can be. I liked it; especially when they did some gospel tunes. I've decided that I like gospel music!

Right is a picture of grandson Isaiah (son of our Audrey) with his new contact lenses. He's pretty excited about them.

I taught my 14 year old Sunday School class today, after a long absence. It didn't go especially well. It makes me sad to feel such a sweet spirit during preparations, only to feel none of it in the classroom. Maybe I expect too much. I told the kids today that they are as responsible as I am for an inspired lesson. I know from experience when the Spirit is there the material expands and when it is not, things contract. Today was a contraction day.

It is good to be home for a full week without the anticipation of leaving again. I love walking through the yard and house. There is so much to do to "finish" things, but just being here is joyful. Our neighbors, the Trutners, sold me their extra patio furniture. I placed it in two places around the house. One of them is the patio off of our bedroom. I'm so excited about it! I see Layne and me sitting on our little patio, enjoying the view and bonding. I wonder if that will actually happen.

It is raining today. When the rainy season begins I feel a sweet relief. It is as if all is well with nature and we will have a provident season. In spite of the little collection of worries that live in the back of my mind (mentioned last week), I believe I am an optimist. I think I learned to believe in happy endings from my parents. I'm glad for it, for, in the end, all really will be well. It's the getting there that promotes the worries of course. But even those have a way of working out.

Bottom picture is of Mom in her lazy-boy chair. In the background you can see the rain!

On the Move

2010-10-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

The time has come to bring Mom back to California for the winter. Serendipitously, one of our Mongolian daughters, Marta, asked us to come to her mother's first time in the temple (in Provo!) the same weekend we planned to go to Colorado. As it turns out, Layne opted not to meet up with Marta as he had Church assignments on the weekend he felt he couldn't leave. So I caught a very early flight into Salt Lake by myself, rented a car and stayed in Gerald's home in Draper. It is the first time I've been alone for a long time. I find that now I am an older woman being alone is a bit more attractive. Not that I'd like to do it for a long period of time, but the weekend was quite pleasant. Not only that, but it was productive. I finished putting my dad's life story together. It is ready to be published! I'm so excited about that. I plan to give each of my children a copy of the book on his life. (Picture at the top is of my dad, caring for me and my sister.)

I found my way to the Provo temple on Saturday evening and met up with Marta, her family and friends. Her mother was visiting from Mongolia and chose the Provo temple to go through for the first time, as both of her daughters had done. It was a lovely time. Marta is one of my favorites as she has such a happy disposition and is such pleasant company. Her mother will soon return to Mongolia and, hopefully before long, her father will be able to come and go through the temple also. Sadly, they cannot, at present, get visas to come here together. (Picture to right is Marta and her mom.)

Layne flew into Salt Lake on Monday morning. I picked him up and we headed to Kaysville, where we visited with his twin brother, Lynn, and his wife, Camille. I enjoy their company very much. Lynn discovered lots of family pictures which he was eager to share with us. When we arrived, he had them spread over counters and tables. What a treat. You see, there are not many Galbraith pictures to be had. So these were treasures. I made copies of them with my digital camera. I'm excited to get them organized and described. Our visit was rushed, as we had to take an evening flight into Colorado. We arrived at Mom's little Cedaredge home late Monday evening.

My sister Maryanne and her hub Bob soon left for their home. We spent Tuesday packing Mom up and began our drive back home on Wednesday morning. We stopped in Elko that night and drove on to home, arriving about 5 PM on Thursday night. Mom was tired but otherwise in pretty good shape. I think she is such an amazing woman. She has lost so much function and now has to depend upon us to get along. Yet she is philosophical. She accepts what comes to her in good humor. It is a sweet message to me.

That leads me into my latest thoughts about trouble. Today was our ward conference. The theme was dealing with adversity. I found it to be quite inspirational. You see I am a worrier of sorts. Not a serious one, but there are several things that concern me. They lie at the back of my mind and simmer there. By the end of the meeting today I received a very strong impression to let my worries go. Things work out. We have an amazing ability to adjust to what life brings us, if we give our selves the chance. Thoughts of Mongolia came to my mind. We were uncomfortable with living conditions there when we first arrived but soon adjusted and then loved our situation there. Then thoughts of my granddaughter Carmen came to mind. We watched her struggle for 18 months, then had to watch her die. It was hard. But sweet feelings came to us as well. Then Mom came to mind. Her stroke should have killed her. It would most people. But she is tough, and she lived. Her speech and thinking functions were preserved. She is a miracle, but a burden. Yet, in the midst of the demand of caring for her, there are sweet shivers of joy that sometimes flow through me when I am tending to her needs. Compensations come with every loss, if we look and live for them. So I am going to try and hold onto these feelings of letting go of my fears for the future and just enjoy what is in my life now with faith that I can also enjoy whatever the future may bring to me.
(Picture at bottom is one of Lynn's collection of he and Layne as boys. Can you tell which is Layne?)

Of Diets and such

2010-10-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

Over the past few years those 10 pounds I took off in my forties has made its way back and settled on my belly. For some time I have planned on taking that nasty 10 back off. D'Ann and I decided that we would devote this past week to dieting. I was excited, as the diet we chose promised a 10-17 pound weight loss in a week. It also promoted a tomato based soup that is very low in calories. Eagerly we began. It only took two days for me to lean away from enjoying the process. I can only stand so much tomato soup! But I told myself that it would be worth it to be rid of the extra poundage for good. However, it is slow in coming. I can report that, 6 days later, I am only down 2-3 pounds, depending upon the weighing time. Hum. All that effort for 2-3 pounds is not worth it to me. Here you see a picture of we two dieters, D'Ann Downey and myself. Today we celebrate the birthdays of Layne and daughter-in-law Dorothy. I am officially calling off the diet! Perhaps I should return to my original idea of just cutting back on what I eat in general. That is always a good idea, just hard to do consistently. Or perhaps I should just settle for that extra 10 pounds and accept it as a friend.

I have spent much of my time this past week sewing. When I come home after being away from home for extended periods I can more easily see the decorative flaws of our home. One of those is the lack of curtains. There is much to be said for nicely done curtains in a home. They warm the space and give a finished look. So this week I have done some, in the kitchen and bedroom. It is so rewarding to see the results of effort hanging before my eyes. There are so many other efforts that don't expose their results so readily.

Layne and I have committed ourselves to being in a performance of Nutcracker, to be performed on Temple Hill, in Oakland, this coming Christmas season. Rachel Tan (a friend from our old ward) has volunteered to organize her dance students into a Nutcracker performance as a service to the Church and community this coming December. Can you guess the part she wants us to play? Yep, the grandparents. To do that job right, we are committed to rehearsals every Saturday from now until performance time. It seemed like a small commitment when we made it at the beginning of this year. But, as it turns out, Layne and I are in two dances and he has a short solo part. Remember, this is my non-dancing husband! So here we are, dancing! If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE to dance. So I am a bit excited to be doing this. Layne is simply resigned. He has the dance steps carefully written down so that we can practice daily. He is such a structured, organized kind of guy. But I actually have come to love that about him. So another new experience is about to come our way. We are now performers in Nutcracker!

A Short Fifty

2010-09-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

We are home! We left Mom on Thursday, very early in the morning. We had a prayer in our hearts that the early hour would improve our chances of getting on the consistently full flights that plague stand-by fliers like ourselves. I'm trying to make my prayers more specific so I specifically asked the Lord to bless us with a speedy trip home. It usually takes us all day to get home because of so many full flights. But Thursday was different. We caught that early flight out of Grand Junction into Denver. Then we spotted an open flight into Phoenix that also provided an open flight into San Francisco. We went for it. As soon as we arrived in Phoenix we were boarded onto a flight for SF. Wow! We arrived at the San Francisco Airport by noon. That is a record for us! We were home by 1:30. Was it serendipity or the Lord's blessing? I'm giving the Lord all the credit for answering my specific prayer.

A friend, D'Ann Downey, has been staying at our house during our absence. She greeted us with her velvety conversation and we have been engaged in bonding with her ever since. It looks like she will be with us until we leave to bring Mom home next month. D'Ann is now living in Europe and will return as soon as she has the funds. That is the tricky part. But she will be gone from here by the 9th, when we leave to get Mom. She is bright, good hearted and a great walking partner.

Sometimes I am amazed at how old I am now. Saturday night was my 50th High School reunion! I've been planning on attending for months now but when it was time to go I felt a bit hesitant. I wasn't the best known girl in school. I looked through my yearbook and must admit to not knowing most of my class. I was afraid of not recognizing or knowing anyone there. But Layne agreed to go with me and encouraged me, so, with some butterflies in my stomach, we went. Wow, I met up with friends right from the start. 50 years melted away as I saw and recognized lots of my school mates. It was such fun! I was especially happy to be able to spend lots of time with my childhood best friend (Carolyn McLaughlin). 200 of our 500+ class showed up. I felt embraced by so many, and I recognized far more classmates that I imagined I would. I guess it just goes to show that pushing through fear and nerves is often a very good thing.

Thoughts from a Quiet Week

2010-09-12T15:02:00.000-07:00

I've been doing more reading lately. My girls would be proud of me. They read many books a month. I'm lucky if I get through one. I hope you don't think I'm a slug for that. It's just that when I sit down to read I always fall asleep. Since arriving at Cedaredge, reading comes easier as there is less to do. And so does napping. That makes sleeping through the night harder. But enough of that. My point is that I've come up with some good ideas from my Colorado reading. For one thing, I see more clearly that we live in a country that is indeed God-inspired. I'm grateful for the effort that our Founding Fathers went to to come up with a system that works better than anything has before. I see us losing much of what they have accomplished and it worries me. Mom's book shelf is full of patriotic readings. I'm enjoying some of them.

I love the people here. They live close to the earth and I think that does good things for the soul. They are intelligent, humble, friendly and loving. I feel embraced here, even by strangers. Layne and I spent some time Saturday walking through a little town called Hotchkiss. We took Mom to a Daughters of the Utah Pioneers meeting there. While she enjoyed her meeting, we walked. Lots of the shops were closed and abandoned. But there were some great ones open. One of them was an art store which I talked Layne into entering. The owner of the shop was an artist and she was in the middle of giving an art lesson. We had quite a lovely conversation and she invited me to come to lessons there. I got to thinking what a good thing it might be to take lessons from several different people. It could certainly give me a bigger variety of ideas and styles. We walked on and visited an art gallery very nicely put together and a rather dumpy used bookstore. Friendly people greeted us on our way. All in all it was a fun adventure.

Mother's eyelashes are growing! That is quite an unimportant thing to include here, but I am fascinated that, at 93, she has more eyelashes than she ever has before. Her eyes have been bothering her so I took her to the eye doc. He explained that her glaucoma medication makes eyelashes grow. In fact, that medication is what led to the goo you can get commercially now to grow lashes. Isn't that an interesting tidbit? Now we know that it really works.

We took Mom to Grand Junction yesterday. We ended our visit with friends by going to dinner. Our waiter had one of those voices that felt smooth going down. It was deep and rich. I determined to find a way to tell him. My chance came and I passed on my high opinion of his voice. One of my goals is to make a point of noticing gifts in people and telling them. I have a theory about that. I think we came to earth full of purpose and encouragement. Life on earth is often very discouraging for many people. One of the gifts we can give to them is encouragement; a sort of return to what we came here with. So I am trying to be a source of encouragement for other people in my life. I'm starting to find it natural to look for something to admire. I think I am getting better at it.

I've been working on my dad's life story quite a bit since arriving here. I've thought about him so much that he seems to be on my mind even when I'm not trying. Last night he came to me in a dream. He was dressed in his dark navy uniform and looked very young, as he did then. He looked at me with his soft gray eyes and I threw my arms around him and wept. The dream ended then. I felt that it was a little gift from God, meant to encourage me in my efforts to create a book about him.

We've had our usual summer storms here. As usual, I love them. Included here is a picture of a hail storm that hit several days ago. Fall is in the air here. I'm wearing mom's sweat shirts on some days now. We seem to have missed most of summer. For the first time in memory I don't feel quite ready for the coolness that is coming.

Pictures: top is of the girl's bathroom at the art gallery in Hotchkiss. Note the design of the mirror is a sort of mosaic. I loved it! The middle picture is of my father just a few years after he left the Navy. He is pictured here with my sister on the left and me hidden on the right. The picture was taken in Hawaii, when we lived there in the late 1940s. The bottom picture is of our recent hail storm, taken on Mom's deck.

A Sandwich Girl

2010-09-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

"Mom, I could really use your help," my daughter Jessica kept telling me. She is in the process of opening a used bookstore in the general Seattle area and trying to keep up with the needs of her family. So, this past week, I flew up to spend three days with her and her family, with plans to go to Colorado for our turn with Mom the end of the week.

Once again we sacrificed sleep to get me to the airport very early Monday morning to see if I could possibly get a seat on an oversold flight. Once again it paid off. I got to Seattle early in the morning. My poor Jessica was over the edge stressed. I'm glad I made it there in time to help her. Her bookstore looks great and seems ready for business to me. But there are scores of details that I know little of that still need to be done. So I spent most of my time there with the three kids. We cleaned house, played games, cooked and generally tried to have fun catching up with things. Jes and hub Chris have spent tons of time on the store so the kids and home have suffered a bit. But hopefully things will level out as soon as things are up and running. Jes and I spent my last day, on Wednesday, reupholstering a chair (one that once belonged to my grandparents). It is a wild print, to go with the store's color theme. It turned out so well that Jes was thoroughly pleased. Hence, so was I. You can see it here. See also a picture of Gemma and Miles around a Monopoly board. The three kids and I were all in jail at the same time. We thought that was a kodak moment, so here it is! Peyton is the youngest. You can see her here posing to show off her missing front tooth. Only you can't see it; you'll just have to take it on faith that it is indeed missing.

"Mom, please try and visit here with us more often," Jessica asked of me. Since her family will be pretty tied to home with the store, that is our only option for seeing one another. I wonder how to manage both bonding with my far-away children and caring for my mom. I don't want to miss either opportunity but I need to figure out how to do both things. It is a worry to work on.

Very early Thursday morning I stood by for another over-sold flight to Denver. I made that one also! Perhaps this is the way to do standby; just get up at 3 am and head to the airport. There are apparently enough paying passengers who chicken out at the last minute to provide some space for us standbys. Hooray. Layne also got on his very early flight from home so we met up in Denver. Our luck changed there as we missed flight after flight into Grand Junction. We finally separated and arrived on two different flights, much later than we were hoping for. But we did arrive! From there our friend Elaine Conlon drove us to Cedaredge. Wow, what a trip.

On Friday Mom turned 93! My sister Maryanne and her hub Bob stayed for her birthday celebration, then headed for their home that night, late. Mom seemed pleased with the friends who stopped by, and the dinner we served, especially to her tastes. She is a lovely woman. She looks different now. Something is going on with her eyes, which you may notice in this photo of her. She frowns from eye strain. I'm going to try and get the problem figured out over the next three weeks that we are here. Otherwise, she seems to be holding as far as her physical condition goes. As usual, it is a joy to be here. The place and the people warm my heart. For the next few weeks, my world is here.

I am indeed a sandwich girl: a slice of children on one side and a slice of mom on the other. My filling is being squished!

Spontaneity

2010-08-29T17:06:00.000-07:00

Before I married Layne I was quite an unstructured creature. Spontaneous, I like to call it. I did what I felt inclined to do, rather than follow any kind of actual plan. Then came Layne. He was Mr. Structure himself. He had lists and schedules that were not to be meddled with. That was a learning curve for me. I admired it from afar for awhile, but I couldn't help being influenced by all that planning. Over time I morphed into a girl quite tied to a schedule. I never would have recognized my more structured self in my earlier times. Now my children actually complain that I am not very flexible!

So I hope you will be amazed and impressed when I confess to not just one, but two examples of spontaneity this week. I have been working off of lists and schedules all week. In spite of what I have become in the way of organized, it is hard for me to stick with extreme structure. But this week I did. And I accomplished a lot. Until this weekend. Audrey decided to drive to Brentwood to visit son Reed and family on Saturday. On a whim, I decided to abandon my list and go with her. This is big for me. We spent the afternoon driving and visiting with Reed and Dorothy. It was such fun! I have forgotten how it is to just do something fun on the spur of the moment. There is something about it that generates a bit of excitement and unpredictability. I liked it. Then Ben called and asked me to attend his Sacrament meeting, to watch their 5 children while they both gave talks. Well, I had a schedule that doing that would interrupt. But I went. And took granddaughter Allegra with me. All on the spur of the moment. Again, it was fun, and worth what I didn't get done, for what I did. I loved hearing the kid's talks, in between caring for babes; they are both excellent speakers. We made it home in plenty of time for our own Church meetings. That just goes to show that making time for the people in our lives trumps the stuff in our lives just about every time. I'll get to the stuff in good time.

Layne and I hosted an empty nest Family Home Evening on Monday night. I cooked dinner for everyone and then we had a sweet message from one of our group. I guess I like hosting. I don't even mind the cooking. It was such fun for me to have friends over. The evening was especially sweet because it was warm outside and a full moon lent a lovely glow all over our yard. As folks left, that sweetness enveloped us all. Nature has such gifts to give, if we just notice.

We attended another wedding reception on Friday. One of the latest things at receptions these days, I am told, is a photo booth for guests to use. There was one there, so Layne and I had our pictures taken in a booth much like those we had fun with in former days at fairs and parks. Here you see one of our snaps. Shown also is Mom's dining room set, which she gave to Audrey. Mom has trouble doing that, as I've mentioned before. I'm anxious to show her how her furniture looks in Audrey's space. I hope she'll be pleased.

Mostly Going

2010-08-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

Granddaughter Rayne turns 21 in September. We'll be in Colorado when her birthday comes, so she talked me into taking her birthday shopping on Monday. "I've pre-shopped, Gramma, so I know just what I want." How can you refuse such a request? Rayne and I have a tradition of birthday shopping so our shopping trip on Monday was just a continuation of a cherished way of life. Hum. This year we went to Norstrom's rack, a great discount place. Rayne works at Norstroms so we had her convenient employee discount to work in our favor. It is hard to pass up deals on things for some of us. I'm one of those. Rayne found some things and so did I! Everything was discounted, plus we got Rayne's 20% off that. Somehow shopping takes on real pleasure when you get a deal.

Our missionary grandson, Chase, (brother of Rayne) left this past week for the Missionary Training Center, in Provo. Audrey, Cliff, and Rayne drove there with him. It is just a quick drop-off now; no extended good-byes. So their boy is gone for two years. To soften the blow, they drove on to Colorado for a quick bond with my mom and to get her dining room set. She told them they could have it and bring it home anytime they were ready. So they packed up the whole set in the back of their truck and drove back home. Mom is notoriously tight with her things, of which she has many. But she appears to be loosening up a bit. We are kinda thinking that, when she offers to pass on something, we should not waste too much time claiming it. I hope we are right about that. Above all, I want my mom to be happy. Sometimes giving one's things away brings happiness and sometimes feelings of loss. I'm hoping for the happy.

Son Gerald went home. Now it almost feels like he wasn't here. Funny how that works. I find that being here makes Colorado seem far away and being there does the same for here. Are you following my thoughts? I don't like traveling. I've said it before, but for me there is no place like home. But I'm working on liking what comes. And travel is in my agenda. At least for now. So I will take what joy I can from it.

Above is Chase, dressed as a missionary, with his sister, Rayne (the shopper).

Kindred Spirits

2010-08-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

Written on Sunday August 15th
It is rare and wonderful when you find a friend that shares your mental track. I have several of those kind of friends; but most are far away. So when the chance for bonding with such a friend comes up, it seems wise to go for it. Since the death of my friend Deb Anderson, my desire to keep up connections with friends has increased. So when friend Pat Green suggested a get-together I worked hard to make it happen. Our plan was to meet in Salt Lake City on my way home from Colorado. Instead I flew to Salt Lake last Monday morning.

Standby is so tricky. I decided to go for the earliest flight even though it was oversold. Amazingly, I got on! You just never know how things will turn out on these flights. Sometimes the full flights are the best ones to try for since other stand-bys often don't come and paying passengers often don't show up. Monday was one of those times. I arrived in the morning with the whole day open for bonding. I felt so blessed! Pat picked me up and we headed for son Gerald's Draper home. It is a lovely place in a lovely setting, and fully stocked. We had the place to ourselves since Ger and family just left it last week. What fun to have a whole house to play in. We talked the days away, and included in our bonding a trip to the house of friends Richard and Karen Winkel. We three girls spent one afternoon huddled in a local restaurant just talking non-stop. Here's the amazing thing; at the end of that time we weren't through! In a good bond, conversation can go on indefinitely. Layne has a hard time understanding this principle, in spite of many efforts to explain it to him.

Thursday morning came very early as I stood by for another oversold early flight home. Guess what. I made that one too! What an enormous blessing my travel has been of late. And to think I don't even like to travel. In this case my traveling companion was a cute girl named Brenda who turned out to be very talkative. So I enjoyed another gab session on the trip home. You could conclude that I must be talked out by now. But I think there is still a little gab left inside yet!

The reason I came home on Thursday is that Gerald was due at our house on that day. He dropped his family and exchange students off at the LA airport and drove to our place so that we could take care of his car. He'll go home sometime this week. It has been wonderful to have him with us. He's a talker. So more bonding has filled my days since being home. He's another kindred spirit for me.

Our whole local family gathered for granddaughter Jacqueline's baptism on Saturday. Son Ben baptized her and I was blessed to speak at the stake ceremony on baptism. It was a fun assignment and I felt good about it. We also spent some time with Ben's in-laws, the Aults. They are a fine couple and I think we could be good friends if they were closer by. So this week has been as full of people connections as I could possibly hope for. My spirit has loved it. But my body is beat.

The top picture is of friends Pat Green (on the left) and Karen Wilkey (on the right). The middle picture shows my three sons: Benjamin, Gerald and Reed. The bottom picture is Ben with his oldest daughter Jacqueline, on her baptism day.

The Joys of Air Travel

2010-08-10T08:37:00.001-07:00

I did go on and on about the joy of thunder storms last week, didn't I? This week we discovered the underside of that. My sister Maryanne and hub Bob showed up in Colorado on Wednesday and we headed out for the trip home on Thursday morning, early. I have explained, I think, the challenge of stand-by travel before. We only go if there are empty seats. An early arrival at the Montrose Airport paid off; we got on an early flight into Denver with no problem. But our ease ended there.

It seems that thunder storms had caused the cancellation of a number of flights out of Denver, over several days. So by the time we arrived Thursday morning the airport was loaded with passengers, all hoping that this would be the day they could escape to destinations of all sorts. So every flight into San Francisco was oversold. Ditto every other western destination that we could head for that could eventually get us to San Francisco. Hum. We found ourselves running from gate to gate, hoping that enough passengers would not show up to empty just two seats for us. No luck, until we managed to squeeze onto a flight to Sacramento. The flight from there to SF looked hopeful. Except that once we arrived in Sacramento, that flight was canceled. So we got creative. We decided to take the train. We taxied to the railroad station and got on an Amtrak train for a 2 1/2 hour trip to Fremont. The cost for old folks was just $15 apiece. We qualified, so for a small investment we enjoyed a scenic and comfortable ride that took us closer to home than the airplane trip would have. It was a surprise blessing. So I guess that goes to show that the most frustrating of circumstances can turn surprisingly pleasant.

Grandson Chase had his missionary open house this past Saturday. Family, friends and Church members gathered at our house to wish him well. It was tons of fun. One of our ward emembers made him a cake that was a work of art. It seemed wrong to cut it (but we did!). Check out the accompanying picture and see what you think. It was amazing. Chase gave his missionary farewell talk this past Sunday. He was a good guy and spoke on a religious subject rather than rambling on with various mundane thoughts. He spoke instead on the importance of exacting obedience to the Lord. I was impressed.

You may think that I have enough of air travel. You would be right to think that. But I have committed to friend Pat Green, from Idaho, that I would meet her in Salt Lake for a few days of girl bonding. I never do this sort of thing. But Pat is a kindred spirit with whom good things always happen. So I kept my commitment and once again headed for the airport early Monday morning. That adventure will wait for another blog.

Chase wouldn't give me a decent pose so I'm giving you this
goofy one. Someday he'll be embarrassed. Or maybe not. Here also is granddaughter Allegra, on the left of the girl trio, with two of her Fremont buds.

P.S. Granddaughter Carmen would have been 10 years old today.

Thunder Showers

2010-08-01T19:51:00.000-07:00

This past week has been quiet but busy. I've been trying to sort through some of the stuff Mom has stored in her garage and out buildings. Wow, it is renewed in my mind what a burden most stuff is. Mom has saved just about every scrap of paper her hands ever touched. They sit stored in boxes in every structure on this ranch. There is plenty of other kinds of stuff as well. I am thinking that sorting through some of it while Mom is here is a good idea as there are little treasures hidden in the massive amounts of useless stuff that only she can explain. Seeing all of this makes me want to dejunk my own stuff right now.

I've indulged myself a little. I actually had a professional cut my hair. If you know me, you know that this is a rare thing indeed. I usually cut my own hair, with mixed results I admit. But mostly it seems to work OK. But a girl reaches a breaking point every once in awhile. I simply had to let someone who knows what he's doing to do the job. So I went to a well-recommended hair guy on Main street here. As he was beginning to do my hair all the power went off and it didn't come back! So I got a cut and shampoo but no style. Still, the cut is good. I'm amazed what a good cut does for my efforts at styling hair. As it turned out the power was off for quite awhile, all over town and beyond. So, this coming week I'm returning to my hair guy for a styling with every faith that the power will hold. I'm excited and anxious to see how it turns out.

In California there is no summer rain. Our hills and landscapes are "golden" (in other words, dead) as a result. So it is magical to me to experience rain and warm at the same time. This week has been filled with thunder storms. Mom and I have sat on her deck several evenings, watching the storm clouds move in. Lightening flashes in the hills beyond, followed by thunder. We can see the rain in the distance. Then it slowly comes to us, bringing all the excitement with it. Inside we go as the rain begins. Lightening lights up the sky and thunder rattles through the house and booms in our ears as the storm breaks right over us. Pouring rain follows, drenching everything outside. How magnificent! Here is a picture of my mom's driveway and garage in the middle of the downpour. I imagine how beautiful our little spot would be with this kind of summer. I love it here and I would love it there.

Five weeks in Colorado seems like such a long time. But our turn here will be over in just a couple of days. Home we will head for the month of August, then back here again. I have come to love being here. I can lose my sense of home happenings so easily as I involve myself in life here. Caring for Mom feels light and mostly very pleasant. Layne is a good companion and assistant. I almost feel like we are one with those folk who travel between two homes, to follow the seasons. The impact of the events of life depend so very much upon personal interpretation. I'm working on interpreting this time in my life in the best way I can.

Cousin Camp

2010-07-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

Written on Sunday:
In my experience events never turn out the way they are planned; they are either better or worse. Our Cousin Camp filled our past week. It is our first attempt at getting the grandchildren together for an extended amount of time, with just Layne and me in charge. How grateful I am that no more than 7 were with us. They were enough to keep us hopping. But not doing the things we had anticipated and planned for. Those babes bonded over their own invented play. Their play came about from a book that Mom has entitled, Roxaboxen. It is about a group of children that create a town out of a nearby hillside, using all sorts of left-over things they found lying about. Our babes decided to do the same in a patch of dirt on the side of Mom's house. So, for 4 days, they played in the mud. They managed to pull themselves away for meals and the occasional activity that we had planned for them. Then it was back to the mud. You may imagine what kind of mess that created. There were mud statues, bowls, fences, ponds, pots and mud ovens, used to bake these treasures in the sun. Who could have predicted that this would be the preferred activity? If only we had known, some of our planning could have been avoided.

Not that I'm complaining. I'm glad that they had fun. And fun it was. They used their imaginations and ingenuity to create a world of good times. It can't get better than that. I see now, more clearly than ever, that getting cousins together in bunches doesn't do much for bonding with grandparents, but does great things for bonding with each other. It was fun to see them enjoy each others company. We were the work force. That had its place and I believe it is worth doing again. But for special grandparent-grandchild bonding, there needs to be a smaller number to deal with.

We had fun each evening as we told the children scripture stories and family stories. They seemed to enjoy both. We sang, talked, shared stories and on several nights, enjoyed a movie and popcorn. They are great kids. By Saturday morning, all were gone and we lapsed into quiet. There is much to do to clean things up but, oh, it is so quiet. I like having time back but I miss the grandkids, and my own kids. I suppose I just don't like being so far apart for so much of the time of our lives. Mom, too, misses them. She gets high on people. I guess I do too even though I also like solitude. I guess it is good to enjoy both.

I'm taking pastel lessons again. After the kids left, I worked on trying my hand at recreating an old photo of my dad and his mom (my granny). I need more practice, but you can see my first effort here.

This past week reminds me once again that relationships are what life is all about. They are the priority. It takes work to make good memories with the people in our lives, but is is the best investment of all.

Preparations

2010-07-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

Before I had grandchildren I dreamed of the fun of having all of our future grandchildren over at one time for a week of "grandfolks camp". As usual, time passed quickly and now we have 19 grandchildren. But we've never had a grandfolks camp. Until now. My daughter-in-law Jessica has pressed me to do the camp. She is full of good ideas. So we invited all who could come to meet us here in Colorado, where we would entertain the grandchildren for 5 days. 7 of the kids can come.

We have spent this past week planning for them. Layne, once engaged, is full of good ideas. He has eliminated or refined most of my ideas and added some great ones of his own. And so, this week, we have a menu just for kids; days filled with activities, and nights with family stories and scripture stories. Since we've never done this before I'm a little nervous. Will the kids have fun? Will we build the bond with them that I hope for? Will they want to do this again? Will our plans work well?

Son Ben and wife Jessica (the one with the ideas) arrived last night. Their children are playing in the kiddy pool Layne put up for them. I am watching them from my comfortable chair on the deck. It is a lovely, hot Colorado summer day. The pool sits under a shade tree so it is a comfortable place to be. Layne and I sit idly now as the kids play before us. It is a happy spot we are in. Here are Jacqueline and Alexis sitting on a rock in Mom's back yard.

I am an idea person. I dream of many things in my mind. I begin some of them. My problem is that I finish very little. As I work on one project I think of another. And so it happens that I begin much and finish little. Inefficiency is a quality of creativity, it seems to me. I need to better divide my time between creativity and organization. I'd like to discipline myself to do more finishing. But not this week. This week belongs to 7 adorable kids. And Mama too, of course.

Mom and Things

2010-07-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

Mom seems quite diminished since our last visit to Colorado. While my sister Maryanne and her hub Bob were here Mom got a touch of the flu. In addition, all three of them got involved in a minor car accident. Both of those things took their toll on Mom. She sleeps almost all of the time now. Her eyes look sunken and dark. She says much less. She has perked up a little since our arrival but it is hard to say if her present condition is temporary or a more permanent downturn. I keep studying her face, trying to read what is going on inside of her. She continues to say "I"m fine", when asked. How I hate to see her slide slowly down. Inside her body prison she is still the vibrant, amazing person she was. But it is hard to see now. She is mostly hidden away.

This place continues to offer its magical variety of wind and calm, sunny and cloudy exchanges in each day and occasional rain. As I sit on Mom's deck I look out on a lovely green pasture filled with grazing cows and all sorts of other life forms. An American flag peeks through the trees from a neighbor's yard. The sky is mostly cloudy with some potential rain collecting in some of them. Other parts of the sky offer sunshine on this Sunday evening. There is a soft wind blowing through my hair and the trees above me. All is peaceful here.

Here you see the side of Mom's house from the road.

In spite of all this peacefulness, I am finding it difficult to stick to just one project. I have a list of things I want to accomplish while enjoying this undemanding place. But my old habit of starting lots of things and finishing few hangs over me. What should I do first: sort some of Mom's accumulation of stuff (which badly needs to be done), finish Daddy's story, sort Mom's pictures and organize them, prepare for the arrival of 7-9 grandchildren next week, work on my pastel drawings? All call to me. Why can't I just settle down and get each done in some sort of order? Why am I such a chaotic thinker? Why do my ideas far outpace my performance?

I suppose that life will always have many mysteries. I am grateful for the piece of it that God has given me.

The Travel Begins

2010-07-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

It seems such a short time ago that we sent our sons on their Church missions. But it wasn't. To prove that point, our grandson, Chase, is preparing to leave on his own mission to Boston. He went to the Temple for the first time this past week. It was quite special as he went during our temple shift on Wednesday. Even more special; I was assigned to work the very session he was in! I took pleasure in watching him during the ceremony and remembering my own thoughts when I entered the temple for the first time. Chase works at not showing his feelings on his face. And he's good at it. I think it is part of his masculine mask. But he is a person with deep and tender feelings. It was a joy to spend that temple time with him. He leaves in August.
Here we are with Chase in front of the Oakland Temple.

Our turn to spend time with Mom in Colorado came up last week. The day after our temple experience we started our travel adventure. We always fly stand-by. It is our only remaining perk from United Air Lines. We started our journey very early in the morning to be available for the most flights. We go first to Denver, then Grand Junction, then drive to Cedaredge. Little towns do not lend themselves to speedy travel. We anticipated that it would take all day to get there since we figured we'd miss several flights. Imagine our delight when we got on the first flight to Denver in spite of an oversold airplane! Then, miracle that it was, we actually made our next flight into Grand Junction on the first try! So we arrived early in the day, a most amazing accomplishment. It was all smooth as can be, except for the stress of not knowing that it would be as smooth as can be.

My sister Maryanne and her hub Bob have been caring for Mom for most of June. They did a great job in spite of Mom getting sick and the three of them getting into a minor car accident. They did have their adventures. Mom looked quite diminished when we arrived. She was thinner, duller and less responsive. But she is on the mend. Still, she is not the girl she was. I see her failing, slowly, but surely. All we can do is care for her and love her. I was so wishing that she would be able to live her life fully until she was called home. But that is not to be. I hope that she will be able to move to the next world gently. That is my great wish for her now.
Here is Layne looking out Mom's kitchen window at a summer thunder storm. I love these storms! Imagine what our California garden would be like if only we could enjoy regular summer storms like this one.

It is July 4th. I love this holiday that celebrates freedom. I feel we are fast losing the freedoms celebrated for so many years. But I still rejoice in what we have left and the blessing of living in America. God has been good to our land and our people. I'm grateful. We celebrated at Church and watched my favorite patriotic movie, 1776. I feel in my heart that God was at the core of the thoughts and dreams that brought about the establishment of our Constitution and the United States of America. In spite of the weaknesses of many in powerful positions over the years, we still have the most amazing country the world has ever known. We must protect and preserve it!

Pioneering and Such

2010-06-24T11:33:00.001-07:00

Our Church youth went on a pioneer trek this past week. Layne and I were in charge of putting together vignettes, or short, dramatized pioneer historical stories, for the kids to experience as they walked their own pioneer trail, pushing and pulling handcarts as they went. It was a three day event, held in a park located near Gilroy. It was dirty, dusty, challenging and fun. By the end of three days without showers and with plenty of dirt we were so coated with grunge that it just didn't matter anymore. In a way it was comfortable; no more worries about getting dirty. Our vignette actors did a great job. I believe the kids were inspired by what we presented to them. I was happy with our effort. Layne looked great in his pioneer outfit of tan and brown. Here you can see him about to present the "crossing of the Sweetwater" to the kids as they approached with their handcarts. Nearby you can see some of the guys pushing the carts across our own "Sweetwater". The girls wait on the other side, where the guys carried them. It was pretty sweet and lots of fun.

Sunday was Father's Day. Layne is in a "don't get me anything" mode. So I didn't. The whole local gang joined us for dinner and the big collection of June birthdays that June brings us. It was an explosion of celebration. There was lots of food, gifts and interaction. I love having family.

I can feel myself changing. I am content to be at home for longer periods of time. Not that I actually experience that very often. But when I do, I like it. I am happier to be alone. My younger self sought out people and bonding, but now I feel content to let whomever wishes to come to me. I have to push myself to connect. At least compared to former days. I suppose I am more given to ponderings and quiet experiences. I am amazed at what I am becoming!

Losses and Gains

2010-06-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

Life is full of surprising events. I have been spending quite a bit of time with a good friend, Debbie Anderson, who has been struggling with an unusual disease. It is debilitating but not fatal. Deb has been quite discouraged about losing so much function. I've tried to help her redirect by helping her start to write her life story. We have had much fun piecing her life together in written form, in what we hoped would be a gift for her family. Deb and I met at school, where our children attended some of the same classes. She and I involved ourselves in some causes that we felt were important. Deb is a "cause" kind of girl. We have found much in common and have nourished our friendship over quite a few years now. It has been several weeks since I've seen Debbie. We've been busy in Colorado. She has been struggling with her health a bit more lately. Imagine my shock to hear that Deborah P. Anderson PASSED AWAY this past Wednesday. This disease that "is not fatal" led to a condition that took her life! I've had trouble getting used to the idea of Debbie being gone. Her family is reeling from the unexpected loss. I have been racking my brain to think of what I could do for them. I think I have an idea. I'm going to put the history I have on Deb together with pictures of her into a book for the family. Perhaps it will be a closing of the project we began to bless her family with her story.

Life has its twists and turns. I have a firm belief that death is an adventure that takes us into benevolent territory. I don't mind the thought of it. So why do I feel such a loss when those I am close to pass away? Carmen gave us time to adjust to her leaving us. It was some help to us. Sudden passings leave us in a more unbalanced state. I'm glad to know that they are temporary. Soon enough we will all be together again. But the view from here is clouded.

The world spins on. It is a beautiful day today, very warm and summery. Layne and I just celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary by going out to dinner at China Chilies, one of my favorite places to eat. When we eat out. Which is rare. But then, that just makes it more special, don't you think? In the accompanying picture you can see Layne waiting patiently at our table for dinner to be served. I'm grateful to be involved in a relationship that has been mutually nurturing over the years.

We have two grandsons who are deacons now. Being both twelve years of age, they can go to the temple and do baptisms. They went together, along with granddaughter Allegra, this past Wednesday. What a joy it is to see these children grow into strong, good people. Here you can see Isaiah and James ready to head for the temple. Blessings abound.

Summer Begins

2010-06-06T11:12:00.001-07:00

We live in two worlds now. After two weeks in Colorado, we are home again. Our Colorado time was comfortable and embracing. We celebrated Memorial Day by visiting the Cedaredge cemetery, where more of my dead relatives are gathered than any other single place. Mom, Layne, Allegra and I gathered at Daddy's grave. The Cemetery was filled with big flags, all waving in the breeze. It always inspires me to see our flag waving. Small ones decorated all the veteran's graves. I can gratefully say that Daddy was among them. I wonder why just about every generation has to fight. It is such an ugly side to our nature that we cannot seem to co-exist in peace for long. Sometimes it seems that our history could be written strictly in terms of wars. Yet I prefer to write of the simple causes of peace and happiness. Call me a Pollyanna if you wish. I've been called that before.

In the picture, Mom sits in front of Daddy's grave.

I lost myself for a time in Colorado sorting through Mom's old photographs. I found some that I haven't seen before. I am filled with a desire to organize and record our family's history. I can see that if it is not done, it will be forgotten. My children know so little of life before them. I feel I must give them a record. So I busily took photos of the pictures that I found. I have a passion to organize all family stuff. Memories should not be forgotten.

Here are two old photos. The first is of Maryanne and me in a pose for our Dad on Father's Day many years ago. The second picture is of Mother shortly after her marriage.

It is good to be home again. Summer seems to be here. The hills are mostly brown. The yard is moving into a dormant stage, where things die back. The poppies have done that. There are few blooms left. But beneath the dying bushes small, green sprouts are emerging. With a little summer water they may bloom again. I walk through our house and it feels a little empty. Mom is not here. I keep running into my routine with her and feel strangely at a loss. But I have my list of June things to do now, so the hole will soon be filled. But I miss her.

A Colorado Sabbath

2010-06-01T19:10:00.001-07:00

It is a beautiful spring afternoon in Cedaredge, Colorado. I am sitting on the deck that our family men built for my mom at a family reunion. It overlooks her pasture, which, at this moment, is filled with green grasses and cattle. Birds skirt about, talking to and chasing each other. A soft breeze blows throughthe trees and a blue sky encircles it all. Layne and granddaughter Allegra are resting inside. In the top picture is my view of mom's pasture from the deck. You can see the tips of my toes on the bottom left of the picture.

Mother lies in her chair, sleeping. She seems happy to be home, surrounded by familiar places and people. Being here seems to bring out her memories. She thinks about her past more and more. Since there is little to do in her present, I can understand her going there. In fact, it serves me well. I am trying to get her memories written down. She has been telling me many of them over the past few days. I am hearing things I haven't heard before. I find it rewarding and somehow joy-promoting to hear what she has to say. Her memory seems to be opening up. I'm glad for it.

Mother went to the eye doctor this past week. It appears that she has mild cases of glaucoma and macular degeneration. I was shocked to see how her vision has deteriorated. We are trying glaucoma drops for a month to make sure it is the right thing to do for her. then she will get glasses again. I left the doctors feeling that she is beginning to experience a general physical decline. I know-----she is almost 93! But she has been so vibrant and strong. I was so hoping that she would leave this world on a sprint. But that is not to be.

We have spent so much time in Colorado the last couple of years that it is feeling like a second home. I don't mind my time here; in fact, I enjoy it. I can feel my thoughts here better than home somehow. Less is needed from me here. Caring for Mom is my only mandatory task. The rest of my time can be spent in pursuits of my own making. In the picture below you can see the barnyard behind Mom's home.

There is a place called the Apple Shed here that houses lots of works of art by various local artists. I visited there yesterday and wandered throughout, feeling quite inspired by all the different types of art on display. It was pure pleasure to run into my Colorado art teacher, Barbara Torke. We had a lovely bond. Later in the summer I plan to take some more pastel lessons from her.

In spite of the efforts involved in caring for Mom, I'm grateful for this time. I love being here and being able to give Mom something. I hope she can live gently and peacefully during this time.

2010-05-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

For awhile now we have been anticipating our trip to Colorado, to bring Mom home for the summer. We left for the journey in Mom's car on Thursday and arrived here Friday. Allegra (Audrey's daughter) came with us. She is easy to have around and one of my favorite people. Our drive was pleasant and comfortable. Isn't is wonderful to have a way to travel that moves through space at a pace of our choosing and even offers food and other distractions along the way. All along our trail to Colorado there were gas stations, restaurants and sleeping facilities. No searching was required. I mention this obvious state of things because I found myself comparing our oh so comfortable lives with those of our pioneer forefathers. I never want to take our benefits for granted!

Here you see Mom with a cute smile; anticipating going home perhaps?

Mom did well with the travel. I believe she is excited to be home. As excited as she gets these days. She, as always, is pleasant about everything. Her little house embraced us as we walked in. It was clean and comfortable; like we have been only gone for days instead of months. Our Colorado friends the Palmers have looked out for Mom's place and have done a great job. It is beautiful here, as always. I find Colorado an embracing place.

But for some reason I am once again experiencing my "stress rash". It appears all over my body as I scratch the itch that calls to me, everywhere on me! I have not slept since coming either. This is very unusual for me, usually a master at sleeping under just about any circumstance. Could I be stressed about something? I don't consciously feel worried but I must be. Why must I be such a mystery to myself? What is going on inside of me, really?

Here is Allegra's smile in Mom's dining room. Layne is fresh here from a Sabbath nap. Mom's pasture is in the background.

Moms and Such

2010-05-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

Mom laughed with me yesterday morning. I was covering her with a blanket, misjudged a bit, and covered her face. She got such a funny expression on her face as I pulled the blanket down. I got the giggles. As I laughed, so did she! You may be thinking that this is no big deal. But ever since her stroke Mom has not smiled or laughed very much. Her emotions are somewhat flat. But lately she has smiled more often and even laughed on occasion. It presents such a joyful feeling in my heart to see it that I sometimes go out of my way to bring it about.

Our Mother's Day celebration was very nice. All the locals were here and the men did all the work. Their dinner was a combination of all of our womanly requests (there were 6 mothers to deal with) plus Isaiah, whose 12th birthday celebration was also included. Our gatherings usually involve several celebrations as we put a month's worth together into one event. It was much fun and also involved a group Family Home Evening. It was centered around light as Audrey and I decided to provide a family activity that involved making emergency light kits. So Reed gave a lesson on light.

Then I provided an idea that has been on my mind for some time. I have wanted to present our family with a lighthouse picture that could be a symbol of our family. It should contain a lighted house and lighthouse on a hill in stormy seas. I could never find the perfect picture, so decided to take elements from several pictures and make one myself. It is not completely to my liking, but has all the needed elements. So I presented it to the family last Sunday. I told them that we should be like the lighthouse, filled with light and love, and built on the gospel hill for safety from the dangers of the world. We should let our family light shine out to the world, guiding them to safety. I used the parable of building a house on a hill and letting our light shine. Well, it seemed to work OK. I gave each child a picture of the lighthouse and the accompanying scriptures. They seemed to like it and get my idea. I wish I could find a way to better express the vision that I have. I find the idea of the light house so exciting; I think it is the perfect metaphor for a family.

Continued on Sunday May 16, 2010:
I have some great family news: Isaiah is now a priesthood holder! So he and James can now pass the sacrament and function in the priesthood. AND Chase received his mission call Thursday. We all gathered together for the envelope opening, with cameras in hand. The magical moment came as he read the letter from the First Presidency, calling him to serve in the Massachusetts Boston mission! We were all a-chatter then, discussing all the advantages of being in Boston. Chase was hoping not to learn a foreign language, so this suits him. And it will be filled with exposure to various historical monuments of our fight for freedom. It will doubtless be a difficult mission as far as sharing the gospel is concerned. But the challenge will be good for Chase. So, all in all, I believe we are collectively happy about this call!

Layne has been busy making various "fencing in" items for our vegetable garden. We need to protect it from gophers and squirrels underground, raccoons and deer on top of the ground and birds in the air. It would seem that any garden here would need to be enclosed all the way around to survive. Imagine what a challenge this is! But Layne, as always, has a plan. He is enclosing each plant with wire. What a project. We'll see if our tomatoes, squash, peppers and such will actually make it to our table as the summer unfolds.

Today is our last Sunday before taking Mom home to Colorado. She is excited, I think. I'm looking forward to the peace and open days of her home in Cedaredge.

Pictures: Top is our Mother's Day Feast, prepared by the guys. Girls are served first! Next is the lighthouse picture I made for a family metaphor, then comes Chase opening his all important letter from the First Presidency and last, below, is a short movie of Isaiah and the moving ferris wheel he made out of his birthday gift from Ben and Jessica.

Poppy Hill

2010-05-09T11:52:00.000-07:00

Our poppies still fill the yard with their happy blooms. It makes the muddy back yard less tiresome. It is raining today, so the poppies are refreshed for another period of time. So successfully have they grown that I think I'll spread them around in other parts of the yard. After killing off so many other kinds of plants it is good to know that some like it here. Mom was returned home from a luncheon this week by a friend who called our place "Poppy Hill". I kind of like that.

Today is Mother's Day. I awoke feeling such gratitude for my own good mother, and for the joy of having my own children. I can see that relationships are the joy or sorrow that make the biggest difference in the quality of life. Nothing is harder than making space for another person in my life. They require a great deal from me if they are to endure. But I see now that sacrifices made for the people in my life are worth making. As time goes by I feel less and less attached to objects and ways of doing. I am more and more willing to give them away for some good purpose that benefits someone I love. But I also feel oddly content to spend long periods of time completely alone. Growing older certainly has modified my mind-set.

Today, after several weeks of quiet, the local family will be here. We will have 25 for dinner. Fortunately, I'm not in charge of the food. The men will do it all. I'm looking forward to it.

Quieter Times

2010-04-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

Now that visiting family has gone, relative quiet reigns. It is interesting to me that I have adjusted to quiet as much as I was adjusted to noise in my earlier years. We are adaptable beings, after all. In my youth I seemed very dependent upon interaction with as many people as possible. Now I enjoy my quieter days. To have a day totally open to my own pleasures and pursuits is still rare, but wonderful when it happens.

Not that it has happened lately. When the people depart the assignments fill in. We have lots of those lately. Layne and I are in charge of writing and organizing historical vignettes for our upcoming youth pioneer trek in June. It is quite an undertaking. I sheepishly admit that Layne has done the lion's share of the work. I also guiltily admit that I haven't insisted that it be otherwise. He is so organized in his thinking that, when he gets on an organizational roll, I had best move out of the way. So, mostly, I have.

During Ben and Jessica's stay with us a few weeks ago (for the de-molding of their home), we hit upon the idea that a wall bed in our study would be much more comfortable for guests than the futon bed we had there. We found the perfect one and ordered it, hoping that it would arrive in time for an anticipated visit from Ger and Fran. The bed had to be made from scratch so the wait would be weeks. Hopefully we looked forward to its arrival in time for Ger and Fran. Of course it didn't come. Guess when it did? Right after they left, of course. It is installed in our study. I love it! Included here is a picture of it closed and open. Now I can't wait for someone to come and use it!

For me, this period of time is filled with a cycle of woman sickness. Not mine personally, but that of several woman friends. Friend Deb Anderson is struggling with a complicated disease; Josephine Jose, in my age bracket somewhere, is recovering from a stroke. Bud Pat Green is recovering from major surgery. Sister Maryanne is recovering from another knee surgery. Colorado friend Elaine Conlan is fighting pain of an unknown cause. Of course there is also Mom. She needs lots of help and is settling into the notion that she will for the reminder of her days. All of us are close to the same age (except for Mom). It is interesting to me that so many friends at once are having difficulties. And all are women! I thought we were the tough ones! I have high hopes for all of these women but can't help finding it interesting that this cycle of trouble is so full of female victims. At least, for now, I am not among them.

Layne and I heard a talk last night from a man named Tom Hansen, who worked with President Hinckley for a time. He quoted President H as saying that "old age is painful." I suppose all of us that are becoming old must face that state of things. It seems to be the price we must pay to get out of here. And I'm perfectly willing to do that, when the time comes.

This is a rather somber thought to depart on, so I've included yet another picture of our poppies and lavender. It is too amazing for words to look out our window upon the happy sight of poppies moving in the frequent breezes, and lavender filled with buzzing honeybees, with the flag blowing happily in the background. It brings joyful thoughts and hopes to mind.

Our Taiwanese Family

2010-04-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

It seems to me that life brings a series of extremes with little time for what could be called "balance". I find that I'm a person that usually longs for a balanced life. By that I mean a perfect combination of time to pursue my own interests and those of others. But life usually brings just the opposite; lots of time for personal stuff or lots of time filled with the needs of others. I suppose the balance comes at the end of a life, looking back at the final combination of things. I find that most of my time is taken up with others. Of the two choices, I prefer the people. We've had lots of that lately.

(Bottom picture shows Ben's son William's family birthday celebration. The kids always take quite an interest in presents, no matter whose they are. In the top picture you see the kids on a museum outing. Can you tell which are my Chinese babes?)

Son Gerald and his wife Frances live in Taiwan, where they own two English schools. They love their work. Their two children, Seth and Angelica, are very busy attending school. Things in Taiwan, according to Gerald, are very busy for just about everyone. There is little time for family or fun, he says. So when they stayed with us this past week the kids really got into "fun." Sons Reed and Ben and families spent time with us during their visit, so there was lots of action around here. That is my excuse for not writing sooner.

(Here you see the grandbabes playing Family Home Evening games and playing in the back yard mud.)

When I was younger, I loved talking to people and getting an understanding of what they were about. I find that I do very little of that now. But when Gerald visits, intimate discussions seem to emerge. It is fun to delve into one another's thoughts. There seems to be few opportunities to do that these days. Gerald is my bonding son. He always has things that need saying. I enjoy that. I love his Frances too. She is a bright, good woman. Our visit with them was quite enjoyable.

Mom had an "event" a week or so ago. She didn't feel well. She was sitting in her wheel chair when she turned pale, broke out in a cold sweat, lifted up her head, rolled her eyes back, open her mouth and babbled incoherently. It only lasted a few seconds and she was back to normal. It frightened me. I put her to bed and checked her for signs of a stroke. None appeared. I was alone with her at the time but when Cliff and Layne returned home I had Cliff check her out. She appeared to be fine. I've no idea why she should have experienced such a thing and it put me in mind that she may be getting ready to leave us. I wonder if I am being prepared for that. I will find it hard when that time comes. I feel my mother in my bones.

Gerald and family left on Friday morning. Our house is quiet once again. I have spent much of the time cleaning things up. I find that task helps me to miss them less. Busy-ness seems to be a cure for loneliness. Soon things begin to feel normal again. The house feels peaceful rather than empty.

(In these photos you see Dorothy and foster baby (Reed and Dorothy are providing foster care for babies now), Frances and Gerald, and Gerald telling Mom goodbye.)

The Way Plans Go

2010-03-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

I am by nature a spontaneous girl. But I am married to a highly structured, plan ahead, kind of guy. While clashes resulted from our first efforts to meld these two views of life, time has softened me to planning. So it is frustrating to me to be caught by unplanned events that crowd into my days. I'm trying to loosen up. You would think it wouldn't be hard for a free spirit like myself but, now, it is. Last weekend the kids decided to move our annual Easter egg hunt to this weekend. Now, after years of turning the hunt over to others, I'm back in charge. So, on Saturday afternoon, the whole family gang gathered for the traditional hunt.

In the pictures above you can see our daytime and night time hunts.

We divided the kids into older and younger groups for the hunt and had two separate events. The younger ones found their eggs in the bright light of afternoon. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm day, so it was perfect! We saved the other hunt, for the older kids, for night. Under a full moon, and with flashlights in hand, our 5 older kids hunted for eggs with reflector strips on them. It was an experiment. They loved it! I feel totally over my struggle with the schedule change, caught instead in the limelight of a successful hunt.

When the family gathers we usually celebrate whatever birthdays come during the month. Son Ben and grandson James were celebrated during our egg hunt day. You can see them in the accompanying picture. When there is a birthday, there must be pie. I made Ben and James each their favorite ones. Families are a lot of work but, in my quiet moments of contemplation, I feel so full of happiness over having so many good people bound to me. Indeed, now that I'm an older woman, I can see the miracles that time works as our children make more children, all caught in the circle of family. There is nothing better than this.

Ben and Jes are settled back in their home after an intense effort at de-molding the house. Things seem back to normal there. I know that because Layne and I babysat the kids on Wednesday, at their house, so Jes could take Ben on a birthday date. It's fun to have the kids to ourselves. They are great little kids. Often things that seem like such an effort when anticipated, actually turn out to be easier than planned. I seems to me that anticipation of things either makes them better or worse than real life. What I thought would be lots of work turned into just fun.

Ben's daughter, Alexis, sits amidst our poppies. I planted a few and now look what time and a little rain has brought us!